First Love | xBayani

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Echo's hot like wtf anyways OMFG IM SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING FOR A MONTH IDK WTF IS WRONG WITH ME! Also I'll have another thing explaining why I probably won't post this till April which it's probably April when you're reading this IM REALLY SORRY!!!!

Arabella's POV
"Ewww wtf is she doing here?" Tiffany blurted with a disgusted look.

"Oh, hey Tiffany we're in the same class together can't wait to spend the rest of the year in this class with you!" I smirk knowing that I'm gonna have fun bothering her all year.

"Ewww she's talking to you!" says a blonde girl with brown ombré tips.

"SHUT UP KAREN LET ME DEAL WITH IT!" yells Tiffany.

"Just ignore them Bella. They'll just make you're life a living hell." Jordan whispers to me. And also he calls me Bella! I don't know why it just made me feel special when he said that.

"Hey Jordan, we should hangout! Like go to the mall together or something!" Tiffany bends over his desk making sure her boobs look like they're about to pop out of her shirt tanktop.

"No, I have other plans. I'm hanging out with Bella," he looks over at me and smiles. Since when were we hanging out but whatever I don't mind.

"I thought you were a supposed to be a badass! Ugh," she walks away going to her desk while glaring at me. I stick my tongue out at her and she looks even more angrier.

"Jordan hangout with me afterschool!" A guy that walks into class says.

"Okay" Jordan chuckles.

Wait, what? I thought he was hanging out with me. He's an asshole. Whatever.

"Alright please be seated class." The teacher walks in.
"Since it is the first day we are doing and assignment on getting to know each other. So you will need a partner."

I look over at Jordan and he looks over at me and we smirk at each other.

"You can pick your partners and grab a sheet of paper and write down facts about each other."

I get a two sheets of paper from the teachers desk and bring them to mine and Jordan's now pushed together desks and hand one to Jordan.

"Thanks" Jordan says as I sit down.

"No problem, alright we'll just ask each other questions and than write down facts we get from them or we can talk the whole time and not get work done," I suggest.

"I like the second option better but I do want to get to know you so let's not write anything down. 20 Questions?" He asks

"Sure you go first," I reply.

"Okay ummm, oh! What do you like in guys or what's your ideal guy?" He asks.

"Well I do like guys who I know I can trust, can keep a promise, likes gaming ummm," I try thinking some more qualities in a guy until I get interrupted,

"Great cause I have all those qualities!" Jordan winks at me.

"Haha," i sarcastically laugh "Anyways, a few other things are that he doesn't treat me bad, honest, protective but not too over-protective, doesn't ditch me for other people, likes to be a little cliché and is there for me whenever I need them,"

"Nice, and again I have all those qualities," he winks "your turn to ask a question."

"Are you a virgin?" I ask

"Uhhhh, yeah I am," he looks down embarrassed. I start laughing at him. "Shut up you're probably a virgin too,"

I immediately stop laughing "yeah I'm virgin too."

"Anyways my turn. How many boyfriends have you had?" He asks.

"Ummm," I look away "Please don't make fun of me for saying this or don't tell anyone."

"I promise I won't whatever it is." He says with a look that I can rely on him.

"I never had a boyfriend." I say and that's when tears start to well up in my eyes. I get flashbacks back to how I've seen my father treat my mother every time someone asks me that question. "I'm sorry I have to leave."

"Did I do anything wrong?" He looks concerned.

"No you didn't. Don't worry about it." I fake smile at him I get up out of my desk and run out of class hearing the teacher trying to call me back to the classroom. I try finding the girls bathroom and bolt right in. Thankfully no one is in here, I walk to the stall and start crying my eyes out. The feeling of no one caring about me and no one loving me comes back to me. Just like every other night, I know no ones there for me except this time I'm in school which is probably an even worse situation to be in.

I look at my wrists and sigh. The last time I cut was a month ago. I know right yay I'm clean and it looks like a never cut before but now a have a really strong urge to do it again. The pain is really bad but I deserve it.

Every night I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone and I get scared whenever a guy tries to ask me out cause I'm afraid they're going to end up like my dad.

Every night I count my flaws head to toe and make myself feel worse. I act like a different person when all I am is a depressed bitch. I think of how ugly I am and that how I'm never going to find love cause every time I do try I always get afraid and say no.

Every night I think about how no one understands me. People lie and say they do understand but they only say that to make you feel better. No one was ever there for me ever and I want that to change so bad but I know it's never going to happen.

I cried so much that it felt like I had no more tears left. I stayed in the stall for the rest of the period thinking about how I'm never going to feel loved or cared about ever.

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PLEASE READ!!!! IMPORTANT!!!

A/N: k I know this was a very depressing chapter but please know that this isn't based off of me or anyone else.

Please know that you are beautiful and please know you are loved and cared about. Even though people may not show it they love and care about you.

Please don't act like a different person and put a fake smile. We all want the real you and if you're getting bullied screw them. Those bullies probably are probably having a hard time too at home.

You're flaws that you're probably depressed about are BEAUTIFUL TOO ME!!!! YOURE BEAUTIFUL!!! Please don't feel like you're ever not cared about or loved because I LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU!!! If you ever need to talk to me DM on Instagram Woahxisabela
(Personal account) or xcubeaddict361 (fan account)

Also please don't cut or think of suicide. I have had sleepless nights crying but never once have I thought of cutting or killing myself.

Kids help line: 1 800 668 6868

That's for the kids help line cause I have these card thingys with numbers on them but most of them are help lines for around the area I live in. There is also the Trevor project that you can call and it helps with teenagers thinking about suicide.

I can tell you about this amazing guy who helped me and he can help you too!! He can basically change your life cause he changed mine! If you want to know about him just dm me on Instagram (I said it in one of the paragraphs already) or Twitter Woahxisabela

I hope you give me the chance of telling you about this amazing guy who can change your life and I hope you give him the chance of changing your life!

Love you all and Care for you all!! 😊❤️💕