First Love | xBayani

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Arabella's POV
It's been a week since Jordan and I kissed but I honestly don't know what we are. We have kissed a few other times after our first 'official' kiss which was amazing by the way! But we acted like every other kiss was nothing. I want it to be more but I don't know about Jordan. Anyways I should stop overthinking cause I always do that. I need to talk to Seth.

-Time Skip-

I was at Seth's front door waiting for him to let me in. A few seconds later the door opens revealing Seth and let me just add...revealing Seth shirtless wearing freakin sweatpants and his messy hair. HOTDAMN!

"Hey." Seth says in his raspy morning voice. HOTDAMN AGAIN HIS MORNING VOICE AND SINGING VOICE ARE BOTH AMAZING!

"If you just woke up I can go so you can sleep more, I mean it is 10:30 am." I say still standing outside.

"No no come in." Seth grabs my arm pulling me in his house. We walk into his room and he lays down in his bed while I sit next to him. "So, what do you wanna do?" He asks.

"Well I came here to talk to you about Jordan." I tell him.

"Boy problems?" He asks me another question.

"Well sort of, I guess you can call it that." I reply.

"Do I have to hurt him? I will if he did anything to you" he blurts out.

"No it's just you know how Jordan and I have been more.. uh touchy I guess you can say."

"Yeah, pretty sure everyone in school noticed" He rolls his eyes.

"Well that's because Jordan and I kissed last week..."

"No surprise there"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you guys kiss each other on the cheek a lot"

"Yeah but last week we actually kissed..on the lips,"

Seth sits up immediately. "Really?"

"Yeah" I respond.

"Holy crap! I knew Jordan could do it." He smiles. "Wait is that all you came for?"

"No"

"Okay what else?" He waits for another thing for me to talk about.

"Since Jordan and I kissed, we kissed a few more times after that over the last few days but he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend or anything, so I don't know what we are," I sigh.

"Friends with benefits?" He suggests.

"But I don't want us to be friends with benefits!" I complain.

"Maybe you should ask Jordan what you guys are." He says. Does Jordan even like me? I hope he's not using me or anything. "Of course he likes and I'm pretty sure he's not using you. He talks about you all the time."

"Oh, I didn't mean to say that out loud," I blush looking away.

-Time Skip-

It's currently 6:45 pm and I'm bored scrolling through Twitter laying in my bed. I haven't talked to Jordan all day. Usually I'm used to Jordan sending me something like 'Hey Beautiful' everyday but today I didn't get one. I suddenly got a text from a blocked person.

Blocked
-Sex with your so called 'boyfriend' is amazing!

I'm 100% sure that it's Tiffany just trying to get my attention. The next thing she sends is the thingy where you can record you're voice or whatever. I click it to hear what she sent....Next thing I know I stop the voice thingy cause all I heard was the moaning of a Tiffany and Jordan having sex.

Tears threaten to pour out of my eyes as I try to hold back but fail. I thought Jordan and I had something. I thought he liked me. I was right, he was probably just using me so he could eventually have sex with me. I thought I could trust him. I threw my phone across my room as I put a hand over my mouth. More tears spill out. I thought my depression was going away cause Jordan was making me so happy, but now I'm back to where I started.

(IF YOURE SENSITIVE TO BLOOD AND CUTTING I SUGGEST YOU SKIP THIS PART I'LL SAY DONE IN BRACKETS AGAIN WHEN THIS PART IS OVER)

I got off my bed and walked to my dresser full of clothes. I opened the one full of bras and panties and found a little box. I took out the box and lifted the lid. Right in the box was a blade. I promised Jordan and Seth I wouldn't cut anymore but right now I have to do it. I walk to my bathroom still crying and place my arm over the sink. I look at my fully healed arm and run the blade across it. Blood starts to slowly pour out of it as I cry in how much pain there is. I run the blade a little faster against my arm and make a deeper cut that hurts like hell. I yelp in pain at how much it hurts. More tears coming out. I make more cuts and more blood comes out.

At this point I'm on the floor whimpering in pain and I can't stop the tears from coming out. A lot of blood is on the floor and I feel like I'm going to pass out any minute.

(ITS DONE YOU CAN READ ON FROM HERE I MIGHT MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD THOUGH)

"BELLA! BELLA WHERE ARE YOU?" I hear a guy yell.

"I'm up here!" I try to yell but all that comes out is a whisper.

Footsteps run up the stairs and into my room. The last thing I see is Seth running towards me with tears coming out of his eyes before everything around me becomes black.