First Love | xBayani

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A/N: Okay so I changed the way Arabella looks. If you wanna look at more pics of her, her name is Sydney Sierota and she is from the band Echosmith. Yes they are the ones who sing Cool Kids. I am also legitimately obsessed with Echosmith and like know every lyric to every song!

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Jordan and I were cuddling in his bed watching some shows in Netflix. There's no place I'd rather be than in the arms of Jordan's. Whenever I'm with him I feel safe, loved, cared about and most importantly I feel home. My mom once told me that "Home is not a place, it's a feeling" . I'm glad to be home.

Soon my eyelids started feeling heavy and eventually I fell asleep.

•Morning•

I woke up in the bed with Jordan gone. I felt something on my forehead and when I took it off, it was a sticky note. The sticky note said "Gone to do errands early with Ryan and McLean. Be home soon. Love you!♡". I put the sticky note down on the nightstand and grabbed my phone. I did my "daily checkup" on all of my social medias. Same thing everyday, fans tweeting me, fans liking my pictures, text messages from my friends. I looked on snapchat and saw Jordan had posted something on his story. I tapped it and saw it was me sleeping with a sticky note on my forehead. The caption said "How adorable😍 Ily". I giggled and finally got out of bed.

In the kitchen was two waffles on a plate with whip cream and a little plastic box with blueberries in it on the side. I took a picture of it and tweeted to Twitter with the caption: "Thank you @xbayani Love you!". I immediately got favs, rts and replies. I set up my waffles and began eating them.

When I was finished I cleaned up my plate and put the whip cream and blueberries back where they belong. I plopped my self on the couch in the living room and started thinking of Jordan and I.

Last time I seen him before I came to Canada was PAX East. Than a day later I saw Jordan again. It's like the world wants us to be together I smiled to myself. The thing is that we keep saying that we love each other and stuff but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. At least I don't think we are and if we're not dating, I don't know what we are. Friends with benefits?

I heard the door open in the apartment and the boys returned looking tired. Ryan and McLean went to their rooms.

"Hey" Jordan smiled at me.

"Hey. How was it today?" I asked.

"Pretty good but also pretty busy". He replied.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked again.

"Sure"

"What are we Jordan. I know we broke up and we haven't been dating since than but we keep kissing each other and saying I love you but;"I didn't know how to continue my sentence so I just ended it there.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe just give me time and I'll ask you out sometime. I just want to wait it out first." He said with a normal expression. I felt a little disappointed. I wanted him to ask if we wanted to start dating again but I guess that's not happening.

I looked up at him and smiled. "That's fine. Just take however long you want." After I said that. Jordan leaned in and just as his lips almost touched mine I pushed him away. If we're not dating I don't want to be all lovey dovey.

"What's wrong?" Jordan asked.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude but if we're not dating I just don't want to be kissing. That just makes us friends with benefits and I don't like that". I answered honestly.

"We did this before why are you complaining about it now?"

"That was before Jordan, I'm not like that anymore."

"Why not?" He said slightly raising his voice.

"I just told you Jordan! I don't wanna cause an argument". My voice starts shaking. Last time we argued I was so scared and I'm starting to get that same feeling.

"I asked you why! You still haven't answered me!" He says his voice still raising.

"You can't force me to tell you Jordan! Stop being so controlling!" I yelled at him on the verge of tears and my body starts to shake.

"ITS NOT MY FAULT I'M SO CONTROLLING! YOU'RE JUST A BITCH!" He yelled so loud in my face. At this point I was speechless and scared. I didn't know what to do and I wanted to escape this apartment. Tears were flowing rapidly and I was hugging my knees to my chest.

"I regret saving you". I whispered to him.

"What did you say!" He yelled at me.

"I REGRET SAVING YOU!" I immediately regretted telling that at his face.

"WHATEVER! I REGRET TAKING THAT BULLET FOR YOU!" Jordan yelled back. More tears streamed out of my eyes. Jordan walked back into his room slamming the door shut. Ryan and McLean came out of their rooms and saw me crying. They ran over to me and asked me a bunch of questions. Ryan went to go talk to Jordan and McLean was comforting me.

I heard screaming coming from Jordan's room. "Nothing's getting better!" I cried even more. Ryan walked out and came over to me.

"Get your stuff together. Brayden's gonna come and pick you up. I know you won't want to stay here after what just happened".

"Thank you Ryan". I gave him a hug. We walked out of the apartment and waited in the front for Brayden.

Another thing I regret doing is thinking that Jordan was home to me.