First Love | xBayani

•18• Full Of Tears

After a lot of vlogging, singing, selfies, and laughing, the dinner was sadly over and Jordan and I went back to the house we rented for PAX east along with other cube members. We all decided on watching a random movie. I walked to the kitchen with Bee, Jordan, and Ryan to get popcorn ready.

"I'll be right back." Jordan said to me. I nod and Jordan whispers something in Ryan's ear before he leaves the house to go somewhere. There was a convenient store down the road so he could be going there. I open a cabinet door and get the popcorn box and set it on the counter.

"Bella?" Ryan says getting my attention.

"Yeah?" I reply.

"I need to talk to you." He pleaded.

"Okay." I nodded. I followed out of the back door of the house. He kept walking towards the alley in the back of the house. I could smell a horrible, strong smell of weed once we got in the alley. I looked to my right and see Jordan with a joint in his hand. His eyes widen and so do mine.

"How could you do this Jordan?" I ask as I feel tears start to cloud my eyes.

"Ryan! I told you to keep her inside!" Jordan scolded.

"Dude, she had to know. I felt bad for keeping it a secret from her." Ryan scolds back.

"Why did you keep a secret from me?" I say as one tear slips out of my cheek.

"Bella...I'm so sorry, beautiful." He says throwing away the joint he had in his hand while walking closer to me.

"No your not. You told me you drink and I was okay with that but now you're smoking weed and kept it a secret from me. I hate you!" I angrily say. I run back to house and once I get in I see everyone staring at me. "What the fuck are you looking at?" I snap at them and they quickly look away. I can't help it. My bad attitude is only there when I'm angry. I go to Jordan and I's room (which is now becoming my room only) and lay down on the bed. As I think about everything Jordan and I have been through I start to cry. Everything we've been through and it leads to this. I wish Seth was here. I look over to see someone at the door. It's Bee. Bee has been my best friend ever since we met online. She's always there whenever something is upsetting me or I'm always there when something is upsetting her. Bee, Seth and Jordan are the only people who I actually trusted enough to tell about my past.

"Hey." I said wiping my tears away.

"Hey." She says coming over to sit at the edge of the bed. "You okay?" She asks.

"What does it look like?" I said.

"That you're not okay." Bee chuckles making me giggle. The smile that was on my face soon returns to a frown and more tears come out. She pulls me into a hug letting my tears stain her shirt. "What's wrong?" She asks me another question.

"A few days ago I went to a club with Jordan and he was drinking and got drunk. He's nothing like my dad though." I say not wanting to mention anything about Jordan being horny. "So anyways I just got over it and when Ryan said he wanted to talk to me, h-he actually b-brought me to where J-Jordan was smoking a joint." More tears spit out of my eyes.

"No way." Bee says. "Listen, I won't let him hurt you." She hugs me tighter.

"Bella can I please talk to you." I hear Jordan's voice at my door. Bee let's go of the hug and stands up.

"I'll be in my room if you need me." She smiles at me than leaves the room closing the door.

"I'm so so so so so so so so sorry I kept this a secret from you. I know you probably really hate me and I deserve to get punched in the face right now. I never meant to hurt you and that's whats hurting me, that I let you down. I really fucking love you and I don't know what I'd do without you. I really messed up and I was feeling very unhappy so I thought doing this would make me feel happier. I never want to let you down again." He sincerely says while tears are flowing out of his eyes.

"I just really don't want you to become like my father. and Jordan I don't hate you I was just saying that because I was angry, I actually really fucking love you too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't ever want to lose you." Another tear slips out of my eye. He pulls me into a hug. "I just want to know why you kept it a secret from me?"

"I kept it a secret from you because I didn't want you to get hurt but I obviously failed because I did hurt you." He kisses my forehead. "And I'm sorry for hurting you. I also have another thing to tell you.." He says nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"What is it?" I say getting worried.

"I'm moving to Canada with Ryan and Maclean...."

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A/N: OOOOOO MORE DRAMA!!!! And even more in the next chapter! Anyways hope you enjoyed!