→ 𝐀𝐔✨ even with the all seeing six eyes at his disposal, the world's greatest jujutsu sorcerer did NOT see this one coming.
→ written from mar. 2021 to present
As soon as Gojō had begun following the instructions in the notebook, things had taken a turn for the worst. After laying down the blanket specifically used for changing Keigo's diapers on, Gojō had just undid Keigo's diaper when the baby suddenly rolled over to the side, making a mess out of the poop underneath him.
"Gojō-sensei! Here, the wipes!"
Gojō scrambled to clean up the mess before it got even worse, crying out in panic as he whizzed through the steps in the notebook and finished changing the diaper. What should have only taken five minutes at the most ended up being the most excruciating fifteen minutes of both Gojō and Yūji's lives, but even after they had changed Keigo's diaper and cleaned him up, his crying continued.
"Now what?!" After picking up Keigo and cradling him on his shoulder in an effort to soothe him, Yūji looked towards his teacher for advice. Gojō was still shivering in disgust as he cleaned up the table and washed his hands, and said, "Well, I guess we look at the other reasons."
"Wait, why did you have to change him on our dining table?! Why couldn't you have changed him on the floor or something?!"
"Well, since everyone else ran out on helping me, it's what they deserve," scowled Gojō, drying his hands and heading back to the table. As he picked up the notebook and rifled through its pages, he added, "Look, there's a schedule at the back. What time is it now?"
"... almost eight, I think."
"... it says here that he has a bottle every four hours, and his next one is at eight. Maybe he's hungry?"
"Are we seriously going to be taking care of this kid?!" exclaimed Yūji, trailing behind Gojō as the white haired male began picking up the things he would need to make the bottle.
"Well, we've got to find a way to stop him from crying," frowned Gojō, collecting his equipment and heading over to the kitchen bench. As he switched on the kettle to boil some water, he instructed, "Keep rocking him. His crying seems to be easing up."
I didn't realise 'babysitter' was one of the specialties of a jujutsu sorcerer, snickered Sukuna as he watched his vessel struggling to pacify the infant. Pathetic.
"Gojō-sensei, really, what are you going to do about this?"
"First of all, we make this kid stop crying," repeated Gojō casually, rinsing out one of the baby bottles and setting it down on the counter. "We make the bottle, feed him, settle him down, and then we take him to go see the principal. Surely he can track down who owns this kid."
"Um..." Yūji pursed his lips, unsure of whether his following question would cross any boundaries. "Sensei, is there any possibility... this child is yours?"
Surprisingly, Gojō threw his head back and let out a boisterous, unbridled laugh.
"Because you brought it up, I'll honestly tell you this, Yūji," cackled Gojō, continuing to make the bottle even as he chuckled at his student's suggestion. "I can count on one hand how many women I've had relations with in the past couple of years. And that is a big, fat zero. So, no, there's no chance of it being mine. But, I do feel like it does belong to someone I know, since they were able to bring it to the school undetected and then leave without raising any alarm.
"Or maybe it's someone I don't know! Maybe it's someone who was just banking on my reputation as the world's best jujutsu sorcerer who thought they'd try their luck at palming off their kid. I was kind of fifty-fifty about whether it was a man or a woman who left him behind, but after seeing that notebook, I'm pretty sure it was a woman. Even though I'm sure there are some guys out there who are this meticulous about looking after their child... my gut says otherwise."
"Oh. Right," nodded Yūji, thinking about his teacher's words. "But why would they just suddenly leave their child? What's so important that they can't look after him themselves?"
"They said they had some stuff to do. Maybe it was dangerous stuff that they can't take him into?"
"That doesn't make sense, though. You do dangerous stuff all the time. Who could possibly be doing more dangerous things than you?"
"Who knows. But this person seems to have an awful lot of trust in me to look after this kid even while knowing what I get myself into, so they obviously must think I'm qualified for the job." Gojō smiled as he finished preparing Keigo's bottle, before tightening the lid and placing it in the freezer. "Alright. It says we have to cool it down in the freezer or a jug of cold water until it's lukewarm, so I'm glad he's not crying that loudly anymore. I don't think I'd be able to last another five minutes listening to him."
Yūji's eyes widened as he realised that Keigo had indeed stopped screaming, and glanced down at the now peaceful child.
"Is he asleep?" Yūji turned his back to Gojō so that the former could check for him.
"Hmm?" Gojō made his way back to Yūji and leaned down to have a closer look at Keigo. "My, my. You're a handsome little man, aren't you?"
The eyes that stared back at Gojō were bright and blue, making him laugh at the irony. He then proceeded to curiously lift up Keigo's woven beanie to have a look at his hair, and upon seeing black locks, straightened up with a grin.
"Blue eyes and black hair? Who do I know that has blue eyes and black hair?"
"Huh?! Blue eyes?! But you said-"
"Just because we both have blue eyes, it doesn't mean he's mine, idiot," scowled Gojō, smacking Yūji on the back of his head. "But imagine the scandal! What do you think? Should I start telling people he's my secret love child with Utahime? He could pass as it, right? My eyes, her hair? Seems legitimate enough, right? Oh, boy, I can imagine the look on Gakuganji's face now! The scandal!"
Seeing the mischievous look on Gojō's eyes, Yūji let out a loud groan and wished that his teacher would take it a bit more seriously.
"Utahime-sensei would kill you! And so would her students!"
