→ 𝐀𝐔✨ even with the all seeing six eyes at his disposal, the world's greatest jujutsu sorcerer did NOT see this one coming.
→ written from mar. 2021 to present
"... so, all jokes aside, you know nothing about this child."
After deciding that it was best for the large cot to stay outside, Yūji, Nobara, and Megumi all joined their teacher in Nanami's living room with red faces of exhaustion. Their host returned to their side with a tray of drinks and snacks for the parched students, and set it down on the coffee table as they all sat squished on his couch.
On the armchair across from them, Gojō sat with a smug expression as he fed Keigo his bottle, and said, "Lovely! You wouldn't happen to have any Strong Zero in the fridge, would you?"
"Even if I did, I wouldn't give you any," said Nanami sternly, taking a seat on the last remaining armchair. "Don't try to change the topic. What do you know about this child?"
"I already told you," sighed Gojō. "His name is Keigo Sugawara, his rich parents left him on the students' common room table with a note asking me to look after him, and as such, I am putting the money they left with him to good use. Once I've set him up with the basics, surely I'm entitled to use the remaining money for myself, right?"
"Of course you would," groaned Nanami, crossing his arms as he relaxed in his seat. "Well? Now that you know his name, surely you're going to try and find out more about his heritage?"
"We already asked Ieiri-sensei if she could do a DNA test for us, but she said we have to wait until Monday," interjected Yūji, who was now gorging himself on the chips that Nanami had provided.
"But aren't you going to do some research as well?" pressed Nanami, turning back to Gojō with an unimpressed look on his face. "Are you telling me that you're not curious enough to do some own background checks of your own?"
"What is there to check?" scoffed Gojō, waving away Nanami's concerns with his free hand. "Someone gave me a baby and money, and asked me to look after the baby. What else is there to it?"
Megumi sighed as he sat squashed in the middle of the couch, unsure of how to take his teacher's laid back approach to the situation.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe finding out who the baby belongs to?"
"There's thousands of Sugawaras around the country, I doubt we'd get any useful information from his name alone," insisted Gojō, still palming off Nanami's concerns. "And since I don't know anything about Keigo's background, I also doubt that I'd be able to access any official records. If I do end up going into a government office and explaining why I need to see his birth certificate, they'd probably take him away and put him under government care while they track his parents down."
"Why can't we just do that?" asked Nobara, holding her glass of orange juice and looking towards her teacher. "They can find his parents and give him back. Isn't that best?"
"Judging by how they said they had things to do, I would assume that they knew they were going to do something that they couldn't take Keigo along for," frowned Megumi. "If that was the case, then I doubt the civilian government would be able to do something about it, let alone find them. They'd probably have to hold onto Keigo while they're locating his parents too, and he would be in even more danger than if we just left him with Gojō-sensei."
"What about from a jujutsu point of view? Would we be able to find out more about his parents if they're jujutsu sorcerers?" blinked Yūji. "Don't jujutsu sorcerers have their own little government or council thing? Their own admin to keep tabs on all the sorcerers registered under them?"
"Right, because Gojō is definitely on good terms with them," noted Nanami sarcastically, making his former schoolmate grin brightly.
"Huh? Did something happen?" asked Yūji, looking between Nobara and Megumi to see if either of them could answer his question. He was met with a shrug from Nobara.
"Oh, my sweet, little, innocent Yūji," blubbered Gojō, cackling at his student's query. "Oh dear. Oh precious. Oh, my adorable little child."
"To put it nicely, Gojō-sensei doesn't get along well with anyone," explained Megumi under his breath, catching both Nobara and Yūji by surprise. "... as you may or may not have been able to tell from his relationship with literally everyone at Kyoto."
"I don't need help, either," added the white haired male, taking away Keigo's bottle as the infant finished off the last few drops of his formula. "I think I can handle a four month child on my own. I'll find out everything I need by myself."
His words were met by deadpan looks from his students, all of whom were glaring silently at their teacher in all his glorious self-righteousness. For someone who said he could handle a baby on his own, the way that the three of them had had to help with his shopping said otherwise.
"Really, now?" asked Nobara sarcastically, placing her empty glass back onto the table and crossing her arms. "All by yourself?"
"Of course. I'm the greatest jujutsu sorcerer who's ever lived. What's looking after a baby compared to the dangers I face on an everyday basis?"
Sensing that even Gojō's students were feeling irked at their teacher's attitude, Nanami stepped in and said, "Just bear in mind that his parents aren't necessarily jujutsu sorcerers. There's a chance that they could be curse users, so all of you should still remain vigilant and keep an eye out in case they're plotting something against the school."
"Don't you guys have records of curse users as well?"
"Not all curse users, I'm afraid. Unless they've trained at one of the schools and then changed allegiances, or if they're a curse user who's prominent enough to be noticed by us, there's always the possibility of a few self-taught curse users slipping under our noses. Be careful."
The three students exchanged cautious looks.
"That being said, since Gojō said he can handle Keigo on his own, I think you three are free to leave now," said Nanami, earning cheers from the three. Gojō's pompous smile immediately disappeared. "Go on. It's your summer vacation, and since you've come all this way, you might as well use the opportunity to go and do something fun in town."
"YAY! THANK YOU, NANAMI-SENSEI!"
"Wait, what-?"
Before Gojō could protest Nanami's dismissal of his underlings, the trio had swiftly stood up and bowed to Nanami before hurdling towards the door, wasting no time in escaping their miserable day carrying around heavy loads of shopping.
"Nanami, what the hell!" complained Gojō, who was rendered unable to chase after his students due to the fact that he was carefully burping Keigo over his shoulder. "You just cost me my luggage mules!"
"... how exactly did you end up becoming a teacher?"
"You tell me! Now how the hell am I gonna get all this stuff back with Keigo?"
"Oh, my bad. I thought you said you didn't need help."
