→ 𝐀𝐔✨ even with the all seeing six eyes at his disposal, the world's greatest jujutsu sorcerer did NOT see this one coming.
→ written from mar. 2021 to present
After feeding Keigo and putting him to sleep once more, Yūji and Gojō had taken it upon themselves to locate Principal Yaga for advice on what to do with the child. Their search had brought them to the school gate, where the principal was dressed in a casual outfit, along with a wide-brimmed hat and fishing rod in hand. His reply to Gojō's plea for help was stern, leaving the sorcerer groaning in complaint.
"But-"
"The note clearly says 'Satoru.' Not me. Not the school. You."
Yaga turned away from the pair as Ijichi arrived in the car, and turned a deaf ear to Gojō's stammering.
"Can't you even help me find someone to look after him when I get sent off on missions or work trips? Since you don't want to help me figure out who his parents are?!"
"No. It's summer break, and unlike yours, mine is limited to a few days, so I intend to enjoy every single one. This is a personal issue of yours. If you want to find his parents so badly, just go get a DNA test done to get it over with and go hunt them down yourself."
"Eh? Gojō-sensei, do you think we can actually do that?" blinked Yūji, balancing Keigo's car seat in one hand, and his stuffed bag in the other. Yaga promptly opened the back door of the car and slid in with his fishing rod, before shutting the door behind himself and completely ignoring the two. As Ijichi drove himself and Yaga away from the school, Gojō grumbled and took Keigo's car seat from Yūji with a scowl.
"... I guess. Let's go see if Shoko is awake yet. She's my best bet right now."
"Okay!" Yūji agreed vivaciously as he followed Gojō, eager to get himself out of his current predicament.
"These people, honestly," sighed Gojō. "Does no one have any sympathy for me? I get a child randomly thrust into my hands with no notice or warning, and everyone just expects me to adjust my own life to look after him?!""
"Uh... it's kind of hard for anyone to sympathise with you when they all think he's your son... everyone we've run into so far thinks that you're a deadbeat dad."
"It's a joke! Why do people only believe that part, but not the part where I say Utahime is his mother?!" Gojō threw his free hand up into the air and exclaimed, "Every time someone asks, I say that he's my secret love child with Utahime! Yet somehow, they only hear the 'secret love child' part, and completely omit Utahime! It's not as funny if people don't believe the whole story, you know! Why should I have to take responsibility for a kid that doesn't belong to me, damn it!"
The walk to Shoko's room was filled with Gojō whining about his unfair judgement as Keigo's father, and even up until he knocked on her door, he was still complaining to Yūji.
"... everyone is assuming that this child is mine, yet no one seems to believe that I've been celibate for these past couple of years! Why won't anyone listen to me?!
Yūji's face was overcast by a dark shadow as Gojō's complaints went in one ear and out the other, completely disgruntled by the fact that his first day of summer vacation was being spent by helping to babysit a strange child.
I could've been on the train by now... on my way to Akihabara... lamented Yūji, letting out a small sob. What was my first stop? Oh, yeah, I wanted to get that new game... and then go have some fluffy soufflé pancakes...
"Shoko! Shoko! Sho-o-o-o-koooooo!"
After banging on Shoko's bedroom door for a good minute, Gojō's loud calls were finally answered. The sound of a chain being undone rattled from the other side of the door, which was opened to reveal Tokyo Metropolitan High School's very irate in-house doctor. Her bedhead, in addition to her sullen expression, made it clear that she wasn't in the mood to be taking guests.
"It's Saturday, asshole," glowered Shoko, glaring at Gojō through the small gap. Her usually tired eyes seemed darker than usual, and her sudden appearance was followed by the strong smell of alcohol. Yūji gagged as he was hit with the obnoxious scent, but even as he covered his nose and turned away from Shoko, Gojō remained unfazed.
"I need a favour. Would you happen to know anyone who's missing a kid?"
"Huh?" Eyebrow raised in suspicion, Shoko glanced downwards at the car seat in Gojō's hand. He undid the cover over Keigo to reveal the sleeping infant, earning a confused frown from the Ieiri. "Wow, you have a kid? Congratulations. Who's the mother?"
"He's not mine!" exclaimed Gojō, frustrated at the lack of belief he was getting from everyone. "Can you just do a DNA test on him and tell me who his parents are?!"
Shoko yawned in disinterest.
"... sure can. But come back during business hours. See you on Monday."
Before Gojō could even argue his case, Shoko had slammed the door in his face and retreated back into the confines of her apartment.
"Shoko! Come on, can't you at least do this for me now?!"
Gojō wept as he began to knock on Shoko's door once more, earning a sigh of pity from his student.
"If anyone does ask who his mother is, tell them it's Utahime-sensei!" called out Yūji, attempting to lighten his teacher's mood. "Until we find out who his real parents are, for now we're saying he belongs to Gojō-sensei and Utahime-sensei!"
Shouldering Keigo's duffel bag, Yūji reached out and patted Gojō on the back.
"Let's take him back to the common room for now," he suggested. "I can look after him while you go and rest. I should be okay since he's sleeping for now."
Gojō's face lit up at Yūji's offer.
"Are you being serious?"
Yūji sighed for the umpteenth time.
"... yeah. It's hard not to feel sorry for you."
Gojō cheered as his confidence was restored, and pumped his fist in the air as he turned on his heel and began to march back to the common room.
"Great! I'll take him back to the common room for you, and then you can watch him while I go and get some sleep! Just follow the notebook, and you'll be fine!"
Yūji rolled his eyes.
"I'm kind of glad Keigo isn't your kid," he grimaced, unable to fathom the thought of his immature— and occasionally irresponsible— teacher being reliable enough to raise a child. While Gojō was indeed a tremendously powerful and talented sorcerer, in terms of childcare... he just wasn't suited for that type of role.
"Aww, don't say that! Anyone would be lucky to have me as their dad!"
