Four x reader (Divergent)

Capture the flag

My breathing is heavy as I stare at the punching bag. I know I'm small. I've only won fights because of how fast I am, or my strategies. If I wanted to keep winning, I would need to get at least a little bit of muscle on me. I had felt silent eyes on me for five minutes. I hadn't heard them enter, nor did they say anything. But I knew they were there. I stopped and held my rib, it wasn't hurting as much as it would normally, but it still ached. Working myself this hard definitely wasn't helping. I took a break as I sighed.

"Can I help you?" I turned around and looked at Four. He was the only one I knew that could be so calm and quiet while he watched someone. It was quite unsettling, but it was nothing new due to him being my trainer. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed.

"You don't have much muscle." I shrugged my shoulders as I looked at the punching bag which barely had a dent on it.

"Really? I had no idea." My breathing was still heavy as I gulped. I must have pulled something in my shoulder or my side, it hurt just to touch it.

"Don't get smart." He approached me as he looked me over. I gave a blank stare as I tried to hide how uncomfortable I was from my side. I hated that I thought about it so much, I felt whiny even to myself. I should just leave it, as long as I make sure it doesn't get broken, I shouldn't think about it. "Why are you training? Having no muscle has worked for you so far." He raised an eyebrow as he looked down at me.

I shook my head and licked my lips. They were becoming chapped and I was beginning to miss the lip balm we had at Amity. "I've seen everyone fighting, they are all bigger than me. It's a strategy, one people won't expect. Because like you said it has been working for me so far. No one will expect change from the high tier." I walked over to the sparring ring and sat down on one of the stairs. He joined me as he had his hands clasped and his arms resting on his legs. "Why are you up?" I looked towards a clock. 00:38.

"Couldn't sleep," I looked up as I urged him to go on. Four sighed and shook his head. "I had quite bad dreams. Couldn't get back to sleep after that." I put a finger up as I raised an eyebrow.

"So technically, you could sleep you just don't want to."

"What did I say about being smart?" He sneered. I chuckled and looked through the room. It was really long and I had barely experienced the whole place, but it was really cold. I was sitting in a tank stop and shorts, my pyjamas. "What about you?" I hummed as I didn't look at him. "Why are you up? Just to train?" I shook my head.

"Couldn't sleep either, literally." I smirked as I saw his glare from the corner of my eye. I looked at the rankings board. It scared me to know that a number is how we are decided, not by how good we are. I guess that's the point in training, so that you never get beaten.

"What are you thinking about?" I could barely hear him as he mumbled. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know." I mumbled back. "So you were first huh?" I asked after taking a deep breath. He nodded but didn't say anything about it. "Were you always first?"

"No. I had to work for it. Once I adjusted to my own fighting style, I didn't have to work as hard. I'm sure it pissed a lot of people off, how it just came naturally." I nodded as I listened. "Were you planning on being first?" He peered over at me.

"No. I didn't even know we had rankings, I just wanted to pass initiation. I had always gotten into a lot of fights through the years, so this isn't that difficult. But the mental stage is probably gonna kick my ass." I blew sharply out my nose as I laughed.

"Why is that?" I felt like he was my therapist, or someone interrogating me. I didn't mind it though.

"I don't like to admit things. If I'm scared I push it away and convince myself I'm not. Except for falling. That I can never get rid of. Along with feelings, I didn't have time for that crap." Four raised an eyebrow at that. "For example, I dated this one guy. I actually quite liked him a lot, but I got scared when all of these rumours started coming out about me not being able to take the serum and how I was a troublemaker that assaulted people on the daily. So I pushed away the feelings, it wasn't easy at first but once I started doing it to everyone, colleagues, friends, everyone. It became easier, it became second nature. I had always been great at lying to the point I was able to lie about how I was feeling. He broke it off himself." I chuckled and bit my lip, I looked down at my legs as I began to play with my fingers. "After that... I just started lying everyday, I even tried to lie to my mum because she didn't deserve that. She was as Amity as they came, she didn't deserve any of the hate or the ridicule she heard at the market. Tried is the keyword, I'm sure at some point I made her believe I didn't love her. I acted up, I shouted at her, threw tantrums. None of it worked. She didn't care if I didn't love her, cause she loved me. Every night that is all I would hear. Hear how much she didn't care, hear how much she knew something was going on but that wasn't me. How much she was waiting for her baby to come back." I looked up at Four as I felt tears well up in my eyes. He had been listening the entire time, not attempting to stop my rambling, or interrupt me. "After a while I stopped doing that. I stopped pushing away the feelings, I just... wrangled them all together. I was still a bitch to people, but I stopped trying to be lonely. I wanted to be but I couldn't be." I chuckled and smiled. "That's my life story. use it wisely." I smirked to myself and shook my head.