passion & pain. ((zuko x o.c.))

training.

thank you for dealing w/ my crappy writing, i really appreciate it <3333

enjoy!!

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I walk up to the tip of the icy cliff, about a mile from our tents, overlooking the icy water below. Sometimes I imagine what would happen if I just stepped a little too close to the edge and slipped off. Would my training really be enough to keep me alive in a situation like that? Would I be able to react quickly enough to save myself? Or would I hit the icy water, bones shattering once they made contact, body sinking under the depths? I've always had nightmares and bad sleeping patterns about that sort of thing, so waking up extra early and blowing off some steam by training was kind of my way of coping with those dreams.

I stand out on the tip cliff, hands up at my sides, toes sticking off the end of the cliff, breathing in the icy air. Hmmph... hwooo... Every deep breath would warm a circle around me, making the air steamy. Haaa... yes, this is my element. Fire. Even though it's what caused me all this pain, all this suffering, it's always been a part of me. Fire~ it could give you everything; then leave you with nothing.

Of course, I loved water as well, it represented calm, peaceful days. It reminded me of learning how to sew with my mother, or running around as a kid with Sokka and Katara. I missed that calm; ever since my mother died Katara has been on edge and I have always felt... uneasy. Alone, sort of.

Sokka was the only person I could think of who I could truly be myself around. Of course, I love my grandmother, but I've never really been as close to her as Sokka and Katara. Now that I think about it, she was always kind of cold to me. Maybe she knew about my real father. Still, that shouldn't have made her indifferent to me. Tch.

I still haven't told anyone about my dual bending since my mother was killed~ not even Sokka, the person I trust the most, even more than I trusted my mother. I just... I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I've already gone through enough pain.

Stretching my arms, I started with some warm-ups. Firebending first~ cause, you know, warm ups. (Bad joke, I know.) I lifted my chest, summoning all the warmth within me, and it fueled the blueish-orange ball of fire that shot out of my fist. I used that fire to channel back and forth, juggling it from my hands to my legs then back again, until my limbs were as nimble as ever. I laugh as the flames go up and down, lighting up the early morning sky. I do some more firebending exercises, moving my arms up and down, bending fire like it's water. Once I feel ready, I try lightning again. I've never quite got it yet, but I really want to. I've never been able to heal using waterbending, either, which kind of bummed me out, but being able to channel and direct lightning would be great compensation for that.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes tight, channeling everything I have into my fingertips, pointing them up into the heavens. A spark; then, nothing.

"Ugh!" I shout, flopping onto the ground, disappointed. Even though I always get this little spark, it never develops. I huff, used to it, but I know I'll never stop trying. Katara has her necklace, and I have my drive to be a better bender. We both just want to make our mother proud, even if she isn't here anymore. Sadly, though, that's pretty much the only thing I share with Katara, besides our waterbending abilities. We've always been.. different- no, distant.

Shaking my head and getting up, I watch the sun rise, tinting the sky orange and pink. Time to start waterbending training. I whip the snow around me into a blizzard, then form it into a huge snowball. I smile and push it off the cliff, where it lands in the water with a huge sploosh! I think that's my favorite part of bending~ having fun. I lift up some more snow, this time melting it into water and whirling it around me, dancing with it as I laugh.

"Wow." someone says behind me. I jump, and turn around to see Sokka, with a hint of a smile on his face. "You've gotten really good, Ni. I- how come you never practice around the tents?"

Lying, of course, I say, "Oh, ah, I just really like the scenery here. Especially when the sun rises, it's so~" I pause.

"You wake up before the sunrise to come out here?"

Cursing myself in my head, I say, "Ah, um, yeah. All I want to do is get better at this, ya know, and since I don't really have a teacher practicing extra is the best I can do."

"Oh, um, okay. Well, me and Katara are going on a little fishing trip later..." He shook his head. "I wanted to go alone, but Gran said no, so I'll see you later, mkay?"

I nodded, and started to walk home with him. It was still pretty early, around 8 a.m. judging by the sun, and I was surprised that Sokka woke up. Was he worried? Or... suspicious? I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as we approached the camp. Hooray. Time for some chores.