Memories Tend To Be Dreams Themselves[LEVI X READER X ERWIN]

#18: Operation

The sun was only just beginning to rise. Its still gentle light was looming in through the curtains as Levi laid in his bed, curled up in his pillow.

He had only been able to get a few hours of sleep at the beginning of the night, but an awful nightmare had woke up him up around 4 am. The image of his friends's corpses haunted his mind, and it was tiring.

He consoled himself by thinking that they were no longer suffering the cruelty of this world now, but he'd hoped that they'd get to see an era without titans with him. He'd hoped they'd get the chance to live a peaceful fews years before passing.

Alas, with the recent expedition, he'd gotten brutally reminded that tomorrow was never promised.

He almost never had nightmare-free nights, but there was an exception.

He seemed to sleep better while thinking of [Y/N].

The night she'd tucked him in bed had been the most peaceful night he'd gotten in years, all because he'd fallen asleep held by her warm embrace.

He still hadn't figured out what he felt towards her. She wasn't like the other people in his life, it was like she was exempt from the rest altogether. He cared for his people; he cared a lot for his former squad, and also for Miche, Hange and Erwin. But her... it was a different kind of care.

He was in his early thirties and had never actually fallen for anyone, so at this point the thought of finding love was ridiculous to even think about. He had better things to do. And yet... all his thoughts gravitated back to her.

He was starting to think this was actually what people called being "attracted" to someone.

He'd spent his life thinking he was above that. He did find people attractive on occasions, but he had never thought much of it. Most of the time, he'd forget their face the next day. Only this... this was different.

Being around her was like a drug.

She was different. Gorgeous, ethereal even. She was strong, reliable, even menacing at times... but she was also kind, caring and gentle.

Overall, [Y/N] seemed perfect.

"I won't go down with other regrets."

That's what she had said to Erwin two days prior, and it had ticked him off.

He knew she had secrets. It was evident that she'd gotten her fair share of trauma and probably lost loved ones, but he was respectful enough not to ask. She was like him in that sense; trying to live with the pain while doing her best to protect the ones she has left. The only difference was that he'd closed himself on his own misery, while she had seemed to expend and give off even more love to her friends.

Perhaps she had a better method. It seemed warmer, at least.

Levi sighed, trying to remember the way her arms felt around him. Holding his own chest, he closed his eyes, imagining the young woman comforting him like she had done a few nights before.

He felt pathetic.

He couldn't imagine actually approaching her to declare his feelings. He wasn't even sure what his feelings were. Plus, he highly doubted she'd ever feel the same way.

Levi had spent most of his life feeling high and mighty, only considering himself on equal basis with Erwin. He'd been the stronger one, the most intimidating one for so many years that it had become second nature to establish his superiority.