Memories Tend To Be Dreams Themselves[LEVI X READER X ERWIN]

#29: Feelings

The morning sun laid gently on [Y/N]'s skin.

Slowly waking up, she listened to the birds sing from outside her window.

Today would be another day of rest for the scouts. The last tragic events were still recent, so the soldiers were granted time to grieve and recover before getting back to their full-time duties. A rare occasion, really; so they needed to enjoy it.

The events of the last weeks didn't feel real yet, and she doubted they ever would. All of it felt rushed and pressuring. She wished to get away, but she knew a part of humanity's safety was resting on her shoulders. She was Levi's Lieutenant now, after all.

She thought about her friends. About Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt, who had turned out to be the cause of humanity's greatest loss yet. About Ymir, who still remained a mystery. About Connie, who would never be able to fight by their side again. About Eren, who had felt his entire world flip upside down ever since his newfound abilities.

Then she thought of Erwin, who carried more guilt and grief than anyone should be able to, yet never wavered when it came to leading his men.

After that she thought of Levi, who stacked each loss right on top of the last one, sheltering himself with his own strength while constantly fighting onward.

Her contemplations on the last two men left her with a strange feeling in her stomach.

She recalled her friends teasing her about their commander just the night before. Did she really seem that gushy over him?

Granted, he was practically addicting to be around. Everything about his voice, his soft yet commanding eyes, the way he smiled for her... He certainly did have a charm of his own. Plus, how could she not internally melt under his touch when he held her, putting his muscled arms around her frame? She couldn't help but to instinctively lean further into him, breathing in the clean scent of his hair products. The way his large body felt against hers...

But it wasn't just that. She cared for him an awful lot, for someone she had met not so long ago. Just thinking about the day he'd been arrested made her anxious, fidgeting with her fingers.

Her squadmates may have had a point. Perhaps they were right to joke about her and Erwin picking daisies... Come to think of it, that was the moment Levi chose to barge in, looking like he had witnessed something particularly upsetting.

[Y/N] recalled feeling confused and concerned over that. To be honest, she felt like that over the Corporal quite often.

Levi was... mysterious, to put it simply. She had never met anyone quite like him. At first glance he had seemed cold and unforgiving, but that facade changed as she grew closer to him. Now, it felt like he'd do anything to protect her. He checked on her, gave advice, brought her tea in the morning... it was nice, really. It felt good.

There was something about Levi. Something about those grey eyes that widened slightly when landing on her, and about how his face gained color when she was speaking. Something about how he had to bend his head to look up at her, his hair showcasing his fine features.

She thought back to the night he had fallen asleep in her hold. For the first time, he had felt so warm, even through all his pain. His head buried in the crook of her neck had made her want to keep him there for the rest of that night.

She couldn't deny her attachment—- perhaps even attraction— to him. He was strong, reliable, beautiful, and smelled of tea. Admittedly, she longed to hold him again.

But then what about Erwin?

"You're utterly pathetic" [Y/N] whispered to herself. "Thinking about pretty men while the world is practically on fire. Get a grip."