The Mafia's One Desire

chapter 4: lovers

Alessandro Prince Chavicci

I am not surprised by any of the questions Sofia has for me, but I wasn't entirely sure how to answer. Could I have confessed my feelings towards her or do I wait? How long will I have to wait now that I made that decision? How will Sofia feel if I confess? What will her reaction be? Does she think that our age difference would be creepy in moving forward? She never thought that before, but it might change with the nature of the relationship. 

Would she push me away or would she pull me closer? The last time she trusted someone, she was raped. Does she trust me enough to have a real romantic relationship with me? I don't want to force her into doing anything she doesn't want to do, but I also know that marriage is the best way forward.

I debated but decided reluctantly not to say anything more when she asked about any other reason I might want to get married to her. Now is not the time to confess my feelings for her. I want it to be perfect, and I want to be on a date with her or something of that nature. 

I don't want either of us to feel pressured into saying how we feel just so we can go through with some big plan. That's not what marriage is about. I don't want to say something so big while we are trying to figure out something as live altering as marriage. That might sound the opposite of what usually happens, but love can make things complicated.

I would rather us already be married and have that level of protection before moving forward. No matter how weird that might sound. I was also startled by her stating she doesn't need her father's permission. The two of them have always seemed close to one another, Monte does care for his daughter if I don't exactly prefer the man. 

I didn't think that asking her father would be a big deal for Sofia, and she's right. Why did I ask her father instead of her? It's the way I was taught to do things, but why would I have to? It's her decision, not her father's. As she said, she doesn't need his permission. 

I haven't really dated a ton of women, so I'm not exactly sure how this all works, so I'm finally understanding what it's like. I've had my fair share of flings and one-night stands, but that was only me trying to get my mind off Sofia. I wouldn't want to settle down with anyone but her.

I also wouldn't have thought she would say no to getting married to me. Not to be cocky, but most women would love the chance to spend the rest of their life with me. They tend to trail after me, not really caring that I could kill them in a heartbeat. 

Sofia is a woman, and I wrongly thought that she would feel the same way about marriage with me as other women do. That 'no' was not part of any plan, but as I think those words, I understand. That's why she's saying no. 

I don't want to take her freedom of choice away, but I will always think it's a good idea for them to at least be engaged. It shows others that I've chosen my woman, and she is not to be trifled with. Because they will not like the consequences if they do.

I also know that Sofia isn't exactly happy about the situation, but I'm feeling more positive. I know that she understands what I'm trying to do, and whether or not she likes it, she's cooperating. She has never been extremely good at it, so I'm glad that she's even compromising. 

I'm going to take what she gives, and also, I get to show her how much I want to be with her. I can show her without having to pronounce my love for her first. I feel that it would be weird for me to say that I love her and then start to date her.

"I'm sorry that I put you in this position. I don't want to hurt you at all, that's the last thing I want. It's a reason why I'm doing this in the first place."

"Yes, I know. You've repeated that multiple times, but it doesn't make me feel any better. My father's decisions, it's impacted me in ways I never thought. Honestly, I could have lived in blissful ignorance of who you were and what you do. I wouldn't have met you, I wouldn't have even had to see you."

"Are you regretting knowing me?"

"And that's another problem. I am so glad that I met you. I feel like I've known you for years."

"You have, just as I have known you."

"No, I mean, actually know you. I only knew that you were my hidden protector. That you were always there, I never saw your face. It was actually creepy for a while, but then my father told me, and it was comforting. These past two months have been everything to me, but I'm not ready for marriage. I'm not ready for all that you bring."

"It's too late. The moment I choose you at the gala, I put a price on your head. I should hate myself for it more than I do, but I'm a selfish man. I swept you into my arms and have made your life thousand times more complicated."

"There's nothing we can do about it now, not that I would want to change anything. Even though everything is confusing and intense, I wouldn't want to experience it with anyone else. I want to be straightforward with you. I don't know how I feel about you. I like you some days but others...I'm not sure. We've only known each other for two months, and that's not enough time for me to figure what-what-"

"We want from each other?"

"Yes, exactly. That's why I don't think getting married or even engaged is a good idea. You want to protect me, but marriage is something valuable to me. It means something. I don't want to ruin that because it's all part of some big scheme."

"Which I completely understand and didn't talk to you about. That was my fault, and we should do better to communicate."

"I agree. I'm glad that we can talk to one another."

"Me too, amore. Do you want to go home now?"

"I don't want to see my father. He's not my favorite man at the moment."

"Aren't you close?"

"When I was a little girl, Sandro. I was his piccola principessa." [little princess]

"Not so much anymore?"

"He's focusing on his relationship with your family more than spending time with me. Which I can understand. It's how he makes money, but I like spending time with mio padre." [my father]

"I get that. My father is kind of the opposite. Since I'm taking over the family business soon, he's been overbearing. He wants everything to be perfect, and I'm not quite sure how that's going to work. We run a Mafia, nothing is ever perfect."

Sofia grins widely, and I can't help but be completely overwhelmed by her natural beauty. Her darker complexion is beyond the women that surround me daily, and no, not for sexual encounters. They work for me. But Sofia's beauty is something that I cannot possibly describe well enough. She is the ultimate painter's muse. 

Her brunette hair falls around her shoulders in subtle waves. Her soft, sun-kissed skin brushes against my arm as she scoots closer to me. Her sweet face with her small nose, pink lips, and dark chocolate brown eyes makes me want to soften all sharp edges. She's so tiny but so feisty. She seems so shy on the outside, but she has so much to say. I'm a very lucky man.

Almost as if I can't help myself, I brush my lips against her neck, getting a small whiff of her Tom Ford Black Orchid perfume that she loves. The combination of plum, patchouli, and vanilla on her skin makes her more than delectable enough to eat. With myself so close to her, she runs her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. 

If anyone was to look at the scene, they would see two young lovers who cannot possibly keep their hands off each other. I secretly want that to be true. To me, it doesn't matter that we are twelve years apart. It doesn't matter that I have known Sofia since she was a little girl. I just want her to be mine.