My Personal Rant Book

I've lost my faith

So I've been feeling slightly just slightly worried for the last few days because..you see recently i left my religion. for a better explanation imma give you a bit of a backstory

So you see i was literally born into Christianity, my mom claimed that she "introduced me to god" when i was in her whomb, and as a child she'd take me to church 24/7 and teach me about God and adam and eve and how jesus died for our sins and how great god is and all that

I was even baptized at 13 year's old. And i was happy with my religion cause it was something that i was taught since i was little and something that i was taught to always practice

But of course as i got older i started learning about other things and started having my own opinions and points of view

I discovered what the lgbt community was at the age of 10 and my mom would always tell me and give me lectures on why it's wrong and why it goes against "the law of god" and all that bs

I must admit that was slightly just slightly homophobic when i first discovered the lgbt community BUT thanks to the internet and my grandma who had a gay friend i was able to learn and understand that members of the lgbt community are humans and that i should respect them cause their no different from any of us

I genuinely supported the lgbt community after i got educated but my mom would still give me lectures on why it's wrong and that I'm supporting "sin" ect and I'd pretend that i took her lectures seriously by saying: "ok mommy" 😀👍 ( yes i still call my mom mommy don't judge me)

To get to the point the reason why i left my religion was because it felt forced, cause religion has always been shoved deep, deep, DEEP into my throat my whole life and my mom's a religious fanatic so she'd constantly forced her ideals onto me and I'm sick of it

I remember one time she checked my YouTube history and she saw all the channels that i was subscribed to and she said: there's nothing Christian here" "nothing biblical" "nothing about Jesus"

And she proceeded to make me unsubscribe to ALL of the channels that i was subscribed to and she made me subscribe to a buch of Christian channels that i never heard of

Keep in mind that i left my religion for myself, not as a way to rebel against my mom. I actually feel bad for her cause when she finds out she'll be devastated so i wont tell her now or next year

I simply started having my own beliefs and i wanted to become my own person, not the person that i was always expected to be by my own mom. I felt trapped in that religion and it felt too forced

Yesterday she gave me another lecture on why i should seek god cause "the world's ending" soon and all that. And it stressed me out it's like she wants me to seek God out of fear rather than actual faith and I'm done with it, i can't do this anymore

To anyone who reads this keep in mind that I'm not trying to make Christianity look bad, this was just my personal experience. If you're religious than good for you but please don't force your ideals onto other people, let people choose their own path, don't make decisions for them, let them make their own decision based on what they believe in