A Court of Shift and shadow

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*Mature content*

Katies POV: 

He let go of my hand, staring at me. I had gone flying up in the coudes, and all that confusion, that weird fealing of not knowing what to do with myself. Had gone away, leaving me with some clarity. I had always thought that Tamilns death was going to be so far away, and more closely align with a change in the Night Court. Rhys did turn like 700 and something this last winter, and he is older than what Tamlin was... But now... Tamlin was dead, and there was no need for us to prepare for a changes. For a short moment I had asked myself if children was something I wanted... Even if it would mean that I was gonna step down from missions for awhile... I had answered by saying yes. But now...

The situation with Hybern was literally so bad that Az called his spies home, and all I could feal was disappointment in myself for believing that there ever would be a time for children in a world always in crisis, always in conflict. The air left my body, that small spark of joy, of excitement... Gone.

"You... You really want that?" Galad said, through the bond a wave of joy, excitement, saddens and... He hugged me. "You really want that? To have children, to have a a family of our own?"

"I want that..." I said. "But if Hybern is on the verge of attacking, or planing something so dangerous that not even Az wants to risk anything... Then that plan... It just is not the best right now..." It had been a fools dream for a moment.

"We could still try..." Galad started. But Belinda came into the room.

"You two have your own house." Was all she said. I almost smiled, but stoped, for in this moment a smile, or happiness was not the right thing to feal.

"Yes, and we will go there." Galad said back. She didn't hear anything.

Did you aks or check?

I asked

"No you can stay, but just don't eat each other in front of us." Belinda said, walking up to the Liquor cabinet. "Do you want some?" She held up a bottle of the ember liquid.

"No thanks." I said "Still don't like it."

"How you can handel the situation without it is a mistery to me." Belinda said back, purong up a glass to herself. "Galad?"

"No thanks."

"Your lost." Belinda said, emptying her glass and poring another.

"I won't have a headache tomorrow." Galad said, and I turned away, hiding my smile. It was not the first time we had this conversation.

"That is tomorrow me. Today me need this." Belinda left, and we did too. Walking out on the street, and maybe it was relief that came over me, making me lean on Galad as we walked. We didn't say anything, there was no need to.

I needed this break, even if is was in the middle of a starting crisis with Hybern. I just needed time, time with Galad for real. When was the last time the two of us had more than two day for ourself? Five years ago? 10? Galad helping in the court day to day, and me out on missions. We had time, but had we ever had more time alone.

"Do you still want to go down to Spring after Starfall?" Galad asked when we got home. "I understand if you want to focus on this." I hesitated. I haden't send word to Caspan that I was coming down to help, so I had no obligations and at the same time...

"I still need to go, for myself." I said. "I need to be there and I need to work through the past."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, I looked out the window, his hand in mine. Velaris was quiet outside, the sea still and glittering. This place of peace and quiet, this place untouched by Tamlins hand. I had for so long now not talked about it.