A Court of Shift and shadow

XIX

Galads POV:

The thorns from Helios library did not have enough poison on them for Madja to do anything. Not even to see if it was Manticore poison. For a moment we had hope, hope that this soon was over. But instead, we were left with nothing. Azriel was out looking for the spy, and only came by to make short reports. Cassian did his best to create some sort of schedule, but it was hard. And as my hands started to hurt as soon as I touched anything, I gave vague excuses that I didn't have the time. A slow steady burn laid over my hands, but nothing showed, no scars, no blisters. Nothing to explain it. And when I woke up with the same pain over my back I started to believe that it was my turn to fall asleep. Or that this was the feeling of having a dead mate, feeling the pain from losing her for every day in my life. But I never told anyone, and the few times I did train with Cassian I just complained that I didn't have the time to train. If he bought the lie or not, I didn't know.

The letter calling us to Under the Mountain came, its black seal darker than my dreams. The letter had no date for the meeting, it would be set after the last one of the courts opened it. Last time it had taken Tamlin 4 months to open the letter. How long would it take this time? A week? Two? He was the only High Lord who had not answered when we sent out for help. Not that I cared too much, what could Spring help us with?

Dad's study was more of a room filled with papers, compared to mom's more organised room. But it had character. The piles of old budgets, letters, requests, notes and more towers almost as high as I was. When I was younger I used to hide here when I was home, watching as dad worked. Of course he would always find me, lifting me up and saying.

"This, this is the worst part of being a High Lord. But all the other things makes up for it." Now, I wasn't so sure that I agreed. But back then, before I understood the sacrifices that had been made to protect Velaris and the world, Had it been an easy fantasy. That the worst thing in life was a room like this. Not to be trapped in a living hell, not to see the one you love get killed... I left the study, walked out and flew up to my place on the roof.

The pain on my back wasn't as intense today, letting me fly. But flying was not the same anymore. The joy was somehow gone, it was just something I needed to do, like walk or breathe. And nothing else. My hands hurt as I opened and closed them. I could live with that, a small price to pay for failing her. And still... I had not felt her die, just how she passed the border and then into nothing. This pain, it was all that I had of her. And if this was it, I could live with it. A steady reminder of the loss. One day I needed to see Tamlin, to meet his eyes and not kill him. Dad and mom had managed to not do it for almost 140 years. I could do it too.

"Galad." Azriel landed at my side. "I have some news to report."

"Tell me." I said, closing my aching hands.

"No one in the Spring Court has seen her. Dead or alive..." He started. "My spy has some vague intel that an eagle has been seen flying over the territory. And out towards the continent." for a moment my hands stopped hurting.

"Any reports of her on the continent?" I asked.

"Not yet, but I have all eyes on it."

"Thanks..."

"I will not let her be forgotten, even if she can't return here." He laid a hand on my shoulder. "My contacts on the continent will help her."

"If the information is correct." I said, afraid to hope for something impossible. "Thank you Az."

"Rhys was going to offer her a place in the Circle, to be an apprentice under me and learn about the courts."

"He was?" I asked.