Bitch Boy

Chapter 20: You're ok

(TW: Panic attack)

I climb the ladder into my room and sit on my bed for a minute before heading downstairs. The house felt cold and empty. Nothing like Tommy's. I look around and there is only one light on in the kitchen. I went in to go check and I see my mom working on her computer. That's all she ever does anymore.

She hasn't made a home cooked meal in over a week; she looks like she hasn't slept. Her eyes are red and she looks like she's going to pass out. "Mom?" I ask looking at her. "Are you ok?" "I'm fine honey." "You don't look fine." I tell her sitting next to her and taking and shutting her computer. "You need to sleep" "What I need to do is work."

"No, you look sick, you can take time off you know." I never actually knew what my mom did for work but ever since we got to England, she has put herself into work. "Where's dad?" I ask her as I'm walking her up to her room.

"He's working late again." She says opening up her bedroom door. "Again?" I ask "I haven't seen him in over a week." I lay my mom down and put the covers over her. "I'll make you something to eat and bring it up to you in a little while." I tell her and give her a kiss on the forehead. "But for now, you need to sleep."

(TW)

I turn the lights off and shut the door to my parent's room. I walk into my room and shut the door. I turn around and I can feel a tear start to run down my face. I collapse onto the floor and curl up into a ball, holding my knees into my chest. My breathing started to pick up and my vision was blurred by my tears. I felt like I was going to die.

I was laying there for a few minutes before I hear someone climb through the window. "Y/N, Y/N, listen to me" I can hear tommy say. "You're going to be fine. Listen to me" he picks me up and places me on my bed. Me makes me sit up and he grabs my hands.

"Breath in... and breath out... breath in... breath out." He continues until he can get my breathing to go back to normal. "Listen to me, you're going to be fine" he says to me whipping a tear away from my face. "Are you ok, can you tell me what happened?"

(end of TW)

Tommy had helped me calm down enough that I was able to talk. "My family is fucking messed up." "Good, keep talking to me, tell me how you feel." "My mom hasn't taken her eyes off her computer in days, she hasn't slept, she hasn't changed, and I think the only thing she's eaten in the past few days is the omelet I made for her this morning. I haven't seen my dad in over a week, he's always out the door before I wake up, gets home after I fall asleep, or he doesn't come home at all. My house feels cold and empty and that's why I'm always at yours, and I just want to fucking go home."

I start crying again, but this time it's good. I'm releasing all of the anger that has been building up inside of me for so long. I could just feel the weight being lifted off of me. I stand up and I wrap my arms around Tommy's neck. He hugs me back lightly at first, but eventually squeezes me tighter.

We stay there for a minute in silence before I whisper in his ear "Thank you Tommy." "Anytime" he whispers back and I laugh. We release from our hug and I sit down on my bed, Tommy sitting next to me. "How did you know how to help me?" I ask him.

"Tubbo has had a few panic attacks before. The first time he had one he was home alone so he called me. And ever since then, he's always called me for help." Tommy replies. (A/N-I have no idea if this is true, it's just for the plot of the story.)

"I really can't thank you enough" I tell him "Last one I had; it lasted a few hours because I had no one there to help me." Tommy turns towards me and grabs my hands. "If this ever happens again, Call me. You don't have to go through this alone."

I look at him for a second before I start to cry again. I wrap my arms around tommy and just sit there for a really long time. "We should do something to get your mind off of this." Tommy says as he rubs my back while still hugging me his chin on my head. "Well, we were going to start Full house last night but we didn't." I say as I look up at him. He laughs and looks down towards me, "That sounds like a great idea."

We stand up from my bed, grab pillows and blankets, and head downstairs to the living room. Tommy sets up them on the couch while I got "Full House" on the tv. We went into the kitchen, grabbed some popcorn, candy, a coke, and a diet coke, and went back into the living room.

We get set up and I press play on the show. Tommy puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him. I felt really nice to know I was with someone who cares about me. While we're watching the show, I feel my eyes starting to feel heavy, and I fall asleep. It's like when I'm with Tommy, all of my problems are gone.

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