An Echo in the Wind

Chapter 7

When I get home, I trudge up the stairs to Austin's room. His light is off but I can hear his quiet sobs from his bed. 

My heart clenches. I hate hearing him cry. 

I don't see my mom anywhere. I'm sure she went to bed, too exhausted to continue dealing with him. I hate that she did this to me. Taking away my teenage years by making me become a parent. 

She's always been happy to pass off parenting to me, not wanting to deal with his 'issues'. Only she doesn't realize he has so many issues because of all our families shit. Her shit. My dad's shit. My other brother's shit. It's exhausting. 

She doesn't realize his clinginess to me is a coping mechanism for him.

He's grown up learning that his mother was a hothead who drank too much, his brother was a murder, and his father offed himself. His only escape was his semi-normal sister who read him stories and fed him and played music when Mom and Dad fought. It makes sense he'd choose to want to be with that person rather than anyone else. 

I close the door behind me and climb into bed with him, slipping off my boots. He scoots over, and I pull the blankets over us both. 

He's still crying, but he now clings to my torso. 

"Hey, shhh, it's alright. I'm home," I say, rubbing his back and stroking his hair. 

The warmth of his small body snuggles into my side and I smile sadly. He cries, gut wrenching cries. 

"Baby, please. I'm here, it's okay." I say, doing anything I can to make him happy again. I can hear the overwhelming pain in his voice and it makes me feel terrible. 

"Don't ever leave me again," he says. 

I can't promise him that but I say, "I'll do my best, okay? Sometimes I need to go out though."

He puts his head on my chest. I kiss the top of his head and we fall asleep like that, him in my arms, me holding him like he's my lifeline. Because he is. He's my life. I love his so much. 

When I wake up, I'm sore from sleeping in my clothes as well as Austin being pressed up against me all night. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, like he was worried I would leave. 

I take his arms off me slowly as to not wake him and grab some clean clothes before taking a quick shower. 

I cook some pancakes, putting sprinkles in them, just the way Austin likes them to make up for last night. He's right, I shouldn't have left him. He needs me, and it was selfish for me to go out. I should've stayed with him. 

Family comes before friends. I won't leave next time unless I know he's 100 percent okay with it. Maybe next time they can come over here. 

I know it's a ridiculous thought as soon as I think about it. There's no way in hell they want to hang in a house with a drunk mother and a clingy six year old. I sigh. Those are the tough choices you have to make sometimes as a big sister. 

His needs are my priority, and I'd be wrong to ignore them. As much as I want to sometimes. 

Austin comes down a few minutes later, rubbing his eyes in his fuzzy green pajamas. His face lights up when he sees the pancakes. 

I put a plate in front of me and sit next to him with my own plate. He scoots his chair over to me until it's touching mine. I chuckle, and kiss his forehead. He smiles up at me with big eyes and I know it was instantly worth it. 

There's a knock at the door. I glance at the clock. It's 11:35. I'm not sure who it could be. I get up but Austin grabs my arm, giving me sad eyes.