An Echo in the Wind

Chapter 28

In school on Monday, I was happier than ever. Sophie and Carly made fun of us for being so cutesy and clingy with each other but I couldn't help it. I was in a good mood. A really good mood. So good that I couldn't help feeling something was going to come and take it away from me.

Good things just didn't happen to me. It felt like the calm before a storm. But I tried to ignore that feeling in my gut.

As we were walking out to the parking lot after school, Shade squeezed my hand and said, "I want to take you on a date tonight. It's going to be a surprise. I have something big planned."

He sounds like a little boy, not a care in the world, just happiness and excitement. 

"What is it?" I ask with a big smile.

"You'll see. I'm not going to ruin the surprise by telling you." He teases.

"Okay, I'm excited."

We exit the school and walk together. There's a couple standing outside the school, looking around at the kids like they're searching for someone. They look familiar, but I can't pinpoint where I know them from. Maybe they just have one of those generic faces. 

But they make eye contact with me and perk up like they found who they were looking for. The woman waves at me. I look around, but don't see anyone else that she could be waving to. She nods when I look back at her and motions for me to come over to her. 

"Do you know them?" Shade asks me.

I shrug, "They look kinda familiar. I'm not sure. I'm gonna go talk to them and see what's up. Maybe they're friends of my mom."

He nods, "Okay. See you tonight. I'll text you the address to meet me there at 7."

I smile and place a kiss on his lips, "Sounds good. I can't wait."

He walks off to his car and I make my way to the couple. I notice they have a small child with them as I stop in front of them. I feel like I know this kid. They all look so familiar.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The woman has brown curls and a thin frame. The man has bright red hair. They both look like they're in their late 50s.

She nods, "I'm Margot. This is my husband Eric."

I search through my head. I know them. But from where?

She takes a deep breath, "Our daughter is...was...Tallahassee. Your brother, Derek, murdered her."

The blood drains from my face. I never thought I'd hear either of those names again. I don't want to be reminded of what my brother did. Raping and murdering a teenage girl. I thought we'd be done with all that once we left that town.

My voice cracks, "I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't bring her back. But I am...Derek's in jail. What are you doing here?"

"This is Gabriel. Tallahassee's son. Derek's son." She says.

My jaw drops, and I shake my head, "No. They didn't have a kid."

"They did," Eric says, "Tallahassee was 7 months pregnant when she was murdered. When she found out she was pregnant, she started avoiding Derek because she was scared of what he'd do to her or her child. She wore baggy clothes and then she avoided him for about 6 weeks when it became too hard to hide anymore. Derek got pissed and came to the house one night when we weren't there. He was angry when he found out and that's why he killed her. Doctors were able to save the baby, but not her."

I feel like throwing up. Tears flow down my cheeks. I never got too many details on Tallahassee's death. I had no idea any of that happened. A sob escaped my mouth, "I had no idea."

Margot and Eric nod, "It's okay. But...we've been raising him for 3 years now. We need to move on from our daughter's death. We need to be able to grieve properly and be at peace with what happened. She was our only child. We just need each other now. We can't be raising another child."

"What are you saying?" I ask, my brain still trying to process everything they're talking about.

"We can't do it anymore. With Derek being released soon, we just can't have him with us anymore. We're scared Derek is going to fight us for custody or try to hurt him. And we can't have Gabriel reminding us of our past anymore. We just can't. We wake up every morning and see his face and we see Derek in him as he's gotten older. He looks like him. We're reminded every morning of our daughter's killer."

I stare at the child with big eyes and tears flowing down my face. I see Derek in his hair and his face. His eyes are Tallahassee's but everything else is Derek's. He looks just like Derek's baby pictures we used to have around the house. He's a spitting image of him. He reminds me of when Derek was good.

But I also can't help seeing my brother's face now. The murderer.

"Why'd you name him Gabriel?" I ask, unable to think of anything else to say. 

Margot blinks and clears her throat, "The Angel Gabriel. Gabriel represents everything good in the bible and in God. Gabriel is pure of heart. A protector. A savior. A deliverer of good news. We thought maybe by giving him a strong name, and making him one with God, that he'd be protected from Derek's sin. That he wouldn't take after his father. And we've prayed. Every night since he was brought into our lives. We prayed to the good lord that he be like our sweet daughter rather than your hate filled psychopath brother."

I feel the urge to snap at her for saying such vile words about my brother. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I've thought the same things about him. I hate him for what he did to that poor girl. Of course I agree with them. Of course I do. 

Maybe it's because I knew him before he did that. He wasn't all bad before. He was my big brother. He was a good brother. He was my friend growing up. I think back to the Mario Cart tournaments and the adventures we had in simple cardboard boxes and let out a loud sob. 

He wasn't always bad. I loved him. I hate him. When I was little, I used to tell him there was nothing he could do that would make me stop loving him. Maybe that's where I went wrong. He got the wrong idea. 

I've been telling myself I hated him for 3 years now. But I think a small part of me does still love him. And I hate that I love such a monster. 

Rape. Murder. Brutal. Monster. Vile. Repulsive. 

All of these words come to mind when I picture his face. The brother I loved is gone, replaced by a grown version that's a monster. 

But I still love him. I hate what he did. I hate who he became. But he's still my brother. And a part of me thinks it would make me so much happier to love him again. But another part of me says he can't be forgiven for what he did. That he went too far. Did too much. There's no coming back from murder. From rape. He's sick. 

What he did was inexcusable. But what if we could've stopped it? We could've loved him more. Loved him better. Payed more attention. That's what it was really about after all, wasn't it? He felt alone. Abandoned. 

But why would he take that out on his girlfriend? On his unborn child? Maybe he was really just messed up in the head and we didn't realize it until too late. 

My head throbs. I don't know what to think. So many conflicting thoughts encompass my mind. 

"Why are you telling me all this?" I ask, rubbing my head.

They exchange a look between them, "Because you're the only other family this child has. We want you to take him."