An Echo in the Wind

Chapter 26

I had more fun in that one weekend than I think I've had in my entire life. So I'm sad when it's over and we have to go back home for school. I pick Austin up from the bitchy mom's house and by the time we get home its 11pm. I, of course, told Austin all about Shade and me, keeping it PG. Of course.

It's going to be a pain getting him up tomorrow morning.

"Mom! We're home!" I shout as I open the door. I saw her car in the driveway so I know she's home. I don't get a response so I send Austin up to bed and I go up to her room. 

The lights are off. I see a lump under the thick comforter. She's already asleep. I leave her room and go to my own room after making sure Austin's sleeping. 

When my alarm goes off, I throw on some comfy clothes and make myself a quick breakfast. Before I leave for school, I get Austin up.

It's weird being in a relationship. I don't know how I'm supposed to act. I was awkward for most of lunch, not sure what I was supposed to do. But I got more comfortable towards the end when I realized we still acted the same as before towards each other, there weren't new rules or standards. We were still just Shade and Echo. Plus some hand holding and kissing. 

I help Shade set up for soccer practice after school and stay for the entire practice. We pick up some KFC and bring it home to eat dinner with Mom. 

She isn't downstairs when we get inside so I go up to her room to tell her to come eat dinner. I find her in the same position she was in last night. A lump under her covers.

My heart rate picks up. Something isn't right. She can't do this. Not again. 

I take a deep breath and take the covers off of her. Her hair is messy, makeup is smudged on her face. She's snuggling a bottle of red wine in her arms. An empty one sits on her nightstand. 

"Get up," I state monotonously. 

She doesn't move. I push her with my arm and she shifts, pushing me away. 

"No," I say, raising my voice, "You are not doing this to me again. Get the fuck up. Now."

Anger rises inside of me. She can't just shut down again. She did this last time and I won't deal with it again. 

She doesn't answer, just turns onto her side so she isn't facing me anymore. 

"Get out of bed!" I scream at her, "Don't you dare do this to me again! It's not fair! I'm only 17!"

I start sobbing, sorrow mixing with anger. What did I do in my past life to earn this shitty life? Or if there's a God, why doesn't he help me? What kind of God lets his people feel like I feel and be treated how I'm treated? 

I hate it. 

I hate everything. 

I hate my life. 

I wish I were dead. 

Everything would be easier if I were. Maybe it would be better for Austin if he lived with a different family. He wouldn't have to deal with my mother's insults or my mental breakdowns. He deserves to be a normal child. He shouldn't have to grow up in this kind of environment. 

Sure, he'd miss me for a while, but he's only 6. He'll get over it in a few years. He'll forget about me. He'll be okay again. 

"Not fair!" I scream through sobs as I walk back into the wall and sink down to the ground. "I hate you! I really do! I mean it this time! You can't keep doing this to me!"

My hands are shaking now and I feel like my brain is going to explode. I can't breathe. I see a figure standing over me. Austin. 

Concern lines his features, "Eckie?"

"Go away Austin!" I say angrily, "Just leave me alone. I can't deal with this."

I immediately feel guilty when tears well up in his eyes and he runs out of the room. It's better this way. If he's mad at me he won't miss me. I don't want him to miss me when I leave. I want him to move on and be okay. 

Silent tears roll down my face as I feel myself go numb. I space out, staring at my mother's bed. I don't know how long I sit there before someone grabs my shoulders, sitting in front of me. Shade?

He gives me a sad smile, "Hey, it's okay. Come out of here."

I look up and down his face, still not feeling a damn thing. When I don't respond, he shakes my shoulder slightly, "Echo?"

"I..." emotions start flooding back and my sobs become louder again. 

He scoops me into his arms and carries my out of my mom's room. I tightly wrap my arms around his neck. I feel happy being this close to him. I feel loved. I feel wanted. 

I see Austin on the couch watching SpongeBob as he carries me upstairs to me room. He sets me on my bed and lays down next to me, holding me in his arms tightly. I clench my hands to his arm, needing to know he's here. 

He strokes my hair and I whisper, "Why are you here?"

"Because I care about you," he says, concern in his tone, "I'm here for you. It kills me to see you like this."

"No, I mean. Why are you in my house?" I ask, looking up at him slightly. 

I probably look like a mess.

He moves a piece of hair out of my face, "Austin called me from your house phone. He was crying and said you were mad and sad and that I should come over and make you feel better."

I squeeze my eyes shut as a few tears escape my eyes. How could I have even thought about leaving him? When he loves me this much. I'm a disgusting human being. I'm selfish. 

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

He looks confused, "For what?"

"For...I don't know. Everything. I'm just sorry," I say, lip trembling. 

"When we break a glass, sometimes we just need someone to help us pick up the pieces," he says, kissing my temple. 

"I was awful to Austin."

He shakes his head, "I think he understands that you didn't mean it. You guys will be alright. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"My mom..." I gasp out before another sob racks my body, "She gets these depressive episodes sometimes. They'll last weeks or months and she just drinks and lays in bed all day. And I'm left to take care of Austin all alone. I just...I hate it sometimes."

He holds me close to him, not saying anything, just sitting with me. 

He strokes my hair gently as I drift into a peaceful sleep engulfed in his arms. It could've been my mind pulling me into unconsciousness, but I think I hear him whisper, "I think I'm falling in love with you." It calms me, whether it was real or not. He probably thinks I'm too far asleep to register his words. I want to say it back to him.

I should have said it back to him.

***

Hehe...