Rumors. (BxB)

Chapter 19 | Connection

PART 2 (The following chapters start from the beginning. This time, different point of view.)

Eric's POV

It used to feel amazing, you know?

Knowing that everyone was scared of me. That way, they wouldn't get close. Just the way I liked it.

Even my own "friends" were scared as fuck. That was even better because I could get what I needed from them, and the same in return. They could get close to me and share my reputation, and I could get some girls along the way. It was a win-win scenario.

Those girls I used to fuck all the time were scared too, they just didn't show it that much. They only wanted me because I seemed "unapproachable" and, apparently, I had a "bad guy" vibe, said Dylan once.

I didn't care 'bout anything. I was fine with having that lifestyle. I had nothing to live for, anyway.

The only thing I wanted was to get my diploma, and maybe, open my own Tattoo Shop as my brother and I used to dream of.

When I told my father what I wanted to do, he didn't care, which surprised me, but not at the same time. I thought he wanted me to join the company like my brother, but he said that it wasn't necessary... Now I know why he said it the way he said it, but...

Well...

I was fine. Everything was going the way I had planned. I had my own apartment; my dad was paying college and everything I needed. It was perfect.

Then, that fuckin' roommate almost sent everything to shit when he opened his mouth and told that landlord that fucking lie that, apparently, he heard from someone that I was using some illegal drugs in the building.

I almost got arrested thanks to that fucker, but my dad did some arrangements here and there, and at the end they couldn't find anything against me, so they let me go. I gave that motherfucker what he deserved, though. Let's just say...

He couldn't go to college anymore.

But...

Soon after, everything started going to shit, this time for real. Thanks to...

Him.

He didn't have anything special. I didn't even know he existed until he talked to me that day. Sometimes I wish I hadn't accepted everything that fucking easily...

Actually, no. I'm lying to myself. It's the opposite and I know it. I wish I could see him one last time.

...I don't know anymore.

He was a pain in the ass at the beginning. The day he was moving in and he saw the living room, he started cleaning right away, like he had some type of OCD or somethin'...

I remember thinking "What the fuck did I get myself into?", you know? Heh...It's funny, 'cuz I got used to it pretty quickly. I got used to HIM pretty quickly, which was so unusual at the time.

So used to him... and it was probably because there was this... connection we had as soon as we started talking, that even after all these years I can't explain it. I can't...

It was strange when I found out that we actually had a lot in common.

We liked the same shows, the same food. But then, even if we didn't had something in common, even if we fought, even if we didn't talk, there was that fucking connection. That fucking attraction that'll make me do things. Stupid things like...apologizing...saying:

"I'm sorry"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome" ... because I couldn't stand NOT talking to him. NOT having him around me...

I got so used to him, that I started opening myself to him, as in telling him about me. I didn't even know why I thought I could talk to him about anything, but I just... could. He listened, and I listened back, and Every. Fucking. Time. I finished talking, I regretted it. I reminded myself that I didn't want no one to be close to me, so having him do exactly that, AND by my own actions, was like... I felt like... I was going crazy.

Why would I want some guy I didn't even care about, some dude I didn't even notice before...? Why did I want him to be close to me? I...

Don't know that answer either.

I just know that as soon as I was aware of those feelings, I started trying to get rid of them.

I would fuck every girl that'd get close to me. They wanted something from me, and I wanted something too. I wanted to know if what I was feeling was real, 'cuz it couldn't be. No way in fucking hell. No... I wasn't in love with a man, right? A fucking man? And in love? Get the fuck outta here...

When he noticed I was fucking around like that, he started to distance himself from me... and that drove me... mad.

I didn't want him to leave me, but at the same time, I wasn't accepting the feelings I was having, so I did everything I could to keep him by my side, and at the same time burry those filthy emotions deep, deep, deep in the ground, where not even myself could found 'em.

But...

It didn't work.

...Why?...

Because of that fucking rumor.

- Hey. Did you hear 'bout that roommate of yours?