Rumors. (BxB)

Chapter 16 | Insomnia

Felix's POV

I've never had trouble sleeping. 

It was one of the things I could do easily, actually. 

Every time my body would lay down in my bed, my eyes would fight, trying to keep themselves open. That was the reason I tried not to study laying down, or if I needed to do something important, I avoided as much as possible laying down anywhere for that matter.

My mom used to tell me I was a sleepy head. 

I barely made any trouble as a baby, because if she laid me down in her arms, and cooed me a little bit, I would fall asleep instantly. If I was crying, throwing a tantrum, doing anything of dislike, she had a simple solution. 

I envied my past self so much those days. 

Sleeping had NEVER been so difficult. I would lay in Manuel's bed for hours, and hours, and hours... Hearing his breathing, sometimes snoring, beside me. For the first time in my life the sound of the AC was also bothering me. For the first time in my life every little light coming from somewhere in the darkness of the room bothered me. 

I would stay like that, looking at the roof, or maybe something else that my eyes would catch, until I could see the small rays of sunlight coming through the curtains the minute the clock hit 5:45 AM.

So I would get up, and sit in the couch beside the bedroom's window, bring my knees to my chest so I could embrace them, and wait. Wait  to have an excuse to not sleep. I never thought that wanting to NOT sleep was something I would do anytime in my life. Yet, I was there, wanting for the sun to come out quickly. So maybe having things to do, classes to attend, homework to finish, would block these thoughts, and not let me think about those moments, about those decisions, about... him. 

...him...Ahh...

Eric-

- Have you tried masturbating? – asked Viola, taking me out of my thoughts. 

We were walking through campus, looking for a place to settle and lay down. 

Even if I hadn't told her anything, she could easily notice the big bags below my eyes, and she couldn't help but ask, and I couldn't help but come up with an excuse. Still, not feeling much prepare to talk about anything that had happened I simply told her that the reason I wasn't sleeping well was because Eric had kicked me out because of the rumors he had spread himself, and I just couldn't bother to argue with him( It wasn't like it was far away from the truth), that I was staying at Manuel's for the time being while I start looking for a new place to stay, and that my insomnia was caused by Manuel's unbearable snoring.

Besides not telling her any details about my relationship with Eric, I still could trust her with almost anything, really. That's why she asking something as "me trying masturbating" so casually wasn't out of the ordinary. 

- Yes, actually. But, as I told you, nothing works... – I replied. – I'm starting to think I reaaaally need medication...