Rumors. (BxB)

Chapter 3 | He said, she said...

Felix's POV

He didn't speak to me for a whole week. 

He was obviously avoiding me, and I understood it completely. Although not really. It fucking pissed me off, but it also made me want to cry.

We would see each other in the halls sometimes, and his only reaction was to look at me like I was nothing. No expression, no words, just nothing. And that alone broke my heart.

What pissed me off even more was the fact that every time I would try to get close to him to talk, he would go out of his way to avoid me.

I wasn't even planning to tell anyone anything, and if he wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened my only reaction would be to agree.

I would rather not talk about the best thing of my life in that moment ever again, than loosing the only connection I had with him. 

- Is something wrong with you and Eric? – Asked Viola. 

We were both talking in one of the corridors when she popped the question. It took me out of my thoughts, and I don't know if she noticed, but it made me really nervous too. 

- What? No! Why would you think that? – I said.

- I don't know. You don't talk about him anymore, and you've been looking his way all this time. 

The moment I heard that, I took my eyes away from him instantly. I was staring, and I didn't even notice. I couldn't help but be too obvious. 

It was so stressful having to see him everyday in campus. It felt like whenever I went, whatever I do... I couldn't escape from him. 

- Nothing's happening, really. We talk a lot when we arrive home. It just seems weird talking here too. – I said, trying to sound convincing.

- Well, I hope so. I just don't want you to get hurt. – She said. 

She was the only person who knew about my feelings towards Eric. Not because I told her directly, but because one day she was checking my phone without my permission and noticed the whole album of pictures I had taken of him without him noticing.

Creepy. I know. Again.

- You know, with all he's being saying about you, I just want you to be careful. – Viola said.

...What?

I looked at her, shocked. I tried to smile, trying to hide the obvious reaction of deception. 

- What? What're you saying? – I asked.

- Didn't you hear? I heard because David heard from Vanessa, that he was talking shit about you with his friends. Saying things like "He's a fucking faggot" and stuff like that. I thought no one else knew that you were gay besides Manuel and I.

...I felt absolutely idiotic. 

I was there, trying to bring our friendship back, like a complete fool, and he was already talking shit about me like I was nothing. Like I was just another piece of crap in between his shoes. Like...

Like we weren't friends anymore. 

Who was I even fooling? Just myself, apparently. This was the same reason I didn't want anyone to know my sexuality. The minute they know, they start thinking they can have an opinion over you, and this time was no difference.

Now that I look back, I didn't even care there was this rumor spreading around. I cared more about the fact that him in particular was spreading it. I felt like our trust had been broken, or more like there was no trust to begin with. It was all just a big, fat, fucking lie. 

-  I'm sorry that you had to heard like this... Honestly, I don't know why you like someone like that. – said Viola, rubbing my shoulders while flicking her pink hair. 

Of course, she didn't know about what had happened that night. What actually made Eric want to spread those truthful rumors in the first place, and I was NOT telling her.

Having those feelings of sadness and shame were enough. I didn't want no one to feel like I needed sympathy or pity from them. 

- Yeah...Me neither. – I replied.

I looked his way again. I needed to stop acting like a stupid child and to start seeing the reality, regardless of my feelings or how hurtful it could be. I was the only one thinking that what we had was a true friendship and waking up was my best option.

He was standing in some classroom's door, talking to some girls I didn't even know.

That moment I noticed that, actually, I didn't know anything about his life outside the apartment to actually call what we had a friendship. We could've had serious conversations and we sometimes would talk about serious issues and tell things about each other, but I'm pretty sure the only one that felt special in the first place, was me. With all he had said to me about him, and all I had said to him about me... Still, it wasn't enough for him to think of me as someone special, or at least it seemed so...

What a truly big idiot I was.

Without warning, he looked at me with his death gaze, and we held eye contact. 

Other times, I would get nervous and try to get close to him to talk. Other times, I would tremble thanks to his eyes looking directly at my soul, but this time I tried my best to not look as desperate, and to let him know that he didn't need to worry about avoiding me anymore...

 Because I was going to start doing the same.