Welcome To My Life

Chapter 20

Back to the present…

I left the house, carrying only my suitcase. I barely had anything in it, and I didn’t have any money. Natalie didn’t offer to give me any to take, which I’m glad for, because I wouldn’t have accepted it.

I don’t need her help. I don’t need anyone’s help. I can fend for myself. I’ve always had to, what makes now any different? Did I really think that Natalie was going to take care of me now? Did I really think now was any different than a few years ago, when she abandoned me? Granted, this time I’m leaving her. But she deserves it for leaving us. She made Mom get worse when she left. Mom slid into the depression after Natalie left, and that’s when the drug use got even worse. Worse than what Natalie had experiences. And who was left there to deal with it? Me.  Because she left me there. She left me there to suffer alone, in silence.

The early morning sky felt dark and unwelcoming, but at the same time I felt almost at home. I was used to walking through the streets of this town at night, usually on my way to a job. It’s different in this part of town though. There aren’t cars coming, there aren’t noises. It’s almost silent. No one in this neighborhood is awake at four in the morning, there aren’t even dogs barking or squirrels running across the street.

I walked down the long driveway, my suitcase feeling heavy and unnecessary, although I knew I had to leave. I’ve known I should leave since the day I heard Natalie talking, but I was afraid to hurt anyone. But now… I would just cause more hurt by staying. It makes sense for me to leave, it’s what I have to do to be a good person. And I’m a good person. I really am.

As I reach the end of my driveway, there’s a car parked. It’s not Natalie’s car. It’s not anyone’s car who lives in the house with me. The lights are off, and I’m unable to easily see who’s inside of the car, or if it is empty. While I’m not really a timid person, I know better than to walk up to this unusual car or try to investigate it anymore. I know that it could be someone dangerous inside, someone from my past, or Natalie's past, or just someone unreasonably dangerous.

I turn the opposite way from the car, and continue to walk without missing a beat. If there is someone inside, they probably thought I didn’t even notice that they were parked there. They probably thought I was some stupid, oblivious teenager who overlooked the car entirely.

My senses are completely aware as I walk, though, and I don’t miss the sound of the engine turning on. I don’t miss the sight of the bright headlights now driving towards me. I don’t miss the slowness of the car either. It’s approaching me slowly, as if trying to stay just a couple paces behind me. I can’t help myself as my nerves start to bundle in my stomach. My brain goes into overload, and I begin to think of ways to get away if it comes to that point.

The car pulls up next to me, slowing to be at my exact pace. The window rolls down in what feels like slow motion, but I refuse to turn and face the car. I’m afraid, but I won’t let whoever’s in there see that.

“Hey, Princess. Where are you going?”