Already Gone

9

george

I don't usually do TW's, I told you in the description it's an angsty book, but this chapter has implications of suicidal thoughts. It would feel unfair to not put one there. Stay safe bby's<3

I woke up the next morning to a window attempting to block out the rain, although a leak in the top left corner was betraying it.

My room was quiet, as it usually was when I woke up. Turning to my left, I checked to see if my phone was by my side, which it was. I pressed down on the button only to see that it had run out of charge, making me plug it in.

Only then did I remember last night. Dream. We called. We fell asleep on call.

It was unlike me to like someone enough to let them stay with me while I sleep. Sleeping is difficult. All day long it pined at my shoulders, at my eyes, at my feet, at me to take it, yet when I actually did I found myself lying away for hours anxiously as if I was scared to drift off into somewhere I couldn't control.

Not being able to stop at any time scared me, I felt lost.

My phone screen blared a bright white, turning on. I looked into it in hope of finding answers. How long would I really be able to uphold this thing with Dream?

Realistically, I gave it around a month, to be able to hold more than one person up now without killing us both seemed like a spiraling amount of pressure, one that I couldn't cope with for long.

I knew Dream and I weren't going anywhere in the state I was in. I was too tired out.

It still felt early, even though it was coming close to 1 pm, but I decided to call Dream back. He picked up after a firm few seconds.

"Hi, George." Dream stammered. He sounded lovesick.

"Good morning. What are you doing? Are you frying something?" I wondered, I could hear some sort of fuzzy noise in the back of the call.

"Ehhehe, no George, it's my shower. I'm about to have a shower."

"Oh- sorry, I'll go. Sorry for interrupting I guess." I didn't want to intrude.

"No don't worry, how did you sleep? You didn't hang up too long ago right?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, my phone ran out. Sorry," I said.

"Hey, don't apologize so much, it's fine, really. Anyway, I must say, you're a pretty chatty sleeper." He stifled his chuckles as he said it.

"Dream! What the hell no I didn't!?" I didn't know what he was talking about, but talking in my sleep was embarrassing enough.

"Dream" he mocked.

"Please Dream,"

"Dream I want it."

"You're lying! I didn't say those things!" I grew flustered.

"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. Only I will ever know I guess."

I forced a laugh, wanting to appear amused.

"Stop. Stop it. How am I supposed to censor what I dream about anyway? Trust me, I wish I could." I thought I was being quite convincing with the forced happiness.