Because I love you... | JJK

Twelve- mixed emotions

Chapter 12

It had been about two weeks since I got that text from my ex, the boys were right I really needed to clear my head before I agreed to anything. I had once thought that this man was going to be my forever, I was so in love with him that everything else around me vanished. All I cared about was him, I had put him above everyone else and completely neglected everything and everyone else around me. I gave my everything to this man and yet it wasn't enough.

I stare down at the diamond ring he had given me that night and feel my heart ache. Flashbacks of our life together flood my head and I can't help but miss it. But that man was completely different now and I wasn't sure I was ready to face the truth. But I know I needed to I needed to hear why I wasn't enough.

Ding.

Jk: good Morning baby girl

Y: why aren't you sleeping? Isn't it really late over there?

Jk: can't sleep and I miss you

Y: I miss you too, only two more weeks and you'll be home

Jk: I can't wait, you better be at the airport to pick me up. You owe me sense you didn't see me off

Y:I will cry baby

Jk: how are you feeling today beautiful?

I smile at his words, Jungkook has really been something during all this. I know how mad he is about the whole situation but I'm happy that he's being more supportive than anything to me. His words of affirmation and reassurance really makes me feel strong enough to do this and stand my ground.

Y: I'm feeling good, I think I'm going to call him today and set up a time and place.

I can see him typing and then erasing, he does this several times before he actually sends me a message.

Jk: I'm sorry I can't be there to fully support you through this but I know your strong enough to do this baby girl. I love you very much and I promise when I get back I'll make it all up to you

Y: You know you don't have to do anything Squish, but I love you too and If you insist on making it up to me bring me some treats back home. Especially something with chocolate

Jk: you know I already got you 😘

Y: 🥰 You're the best now go to sleep!

Jk: Fine 🙄 good night beautiful can't wait to see you

I blush reading his text, against all odds he was still making me feel things I didn't want to feel for him. I was hoping this time apart would help create distance but oddly enough it was only making us closer and I kind of hated it. It was hard not to not feel certain things when it came to him but I was doing my best.

Later that day I build up the courage to call him, I felt light headed and like I could throw up any minute.

"Hello? Y/n?"

My heart stops when he says my name and I hate myself for feeling so easily weak for him.

"Hey Dan..."

"I'm so happy to finally hear from you...how have you been?"

I'm not sure why but it makes me slightly upset that he is being so casual as if we were old friends trying to catch up with each other. As if we didn't have a life together.

"Fine...I gave some thought to your text and I think it would be good for us to meet up and talk"

"Really? I'm relieved you want to, I'm only in Seoul for another two days so maybe we can meet up tomorrow? I'll text you the time and place"

"Okay that sounds fine" I mumble feeling sick again. "I'm so happy to hear from you" I had a mix of emotions I can feel him smiling through the phone and that made me swoon for him but it also made me irritated that I felt that way for him. "Mhm see you tomorrow" I mumble quickly before hanging up.

I'm strong...I can do this.

I mumble these words a few times to myself before my phone lights up with the time and location. I felt sick.

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