Your Voice

Chapter 23

Sorry for keeping you hanging (kinda) last chapter. It's Chinese New Year so I'm kinda busy :p But thank you SO SO SO much for 3k! ❤️ Enjoy!

Christine

Buttoning up my coat, I run down the street in undone boots, looking around for a head of gold hair. Amidst the people walking up and down the wet street, I see no Raoul. I continue to pursue him, my little red scarf scrunched up in my fist.

Why did Erik have to be so possessive? I am my own person - I am entitled to have my own friends, and he keeps seeing every man I talk to as a threat. No matter how many times I tell him I am his, despite the million kisses we shared, he still feels as if he can lose me.

My legs ache from the rapid chasing but I continue until I reach the piers. I scan through the crowd of people with suitcases and people saying goodbyes for him, but with a fog swirling between the lampposts, it's nearly impossible. I walk again further down the road, cautiously taking small steps down the slope onto the unclear strip of beach on which a lone figure stood.

"Raoul!" I call out, my pace picking up again. He looks back through the mist with an emotionless face.

"Little Lotte," he mumbles, looking out into the gray skyline, the angry whooshing waves of the sea swallowing his quiet voice.

"Sorry about Erik, Raoul. He can be really overprotective sometimes." I stand next to him, our shoulders touching. The sea washes up nearly to our toes. An unkind wind threatens to knock us over, but we stand there anyway.

His eyes latch onto mine. Even through the darkness, you can see the shine.
"Christine," he says my name like a child learning how to speak would, tasting the sound of it. "I still love you."

I can hardly respond; it is as if a rock is lodged in my throat. "Raoul..." I speak in the gentlest tone I can muster, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel that way about you. I do love you, I really do, but as a friend, a brother. I don't-"

"Yeah, I know. You've made that quite clear. Remember when we first came here? You gave me shelter, but not your tender kiss. Before that, in the prison, your kiss was almost... empty. It was a kiss of pity, not love." Guilt gnaws at me with each word. Hurt is written all over his face.

"So what are you going to do now?" I ask him after a painful silence.

"I don't know." He looks away thoughtfully, focuses again on the untamed sea. "I- I want to start again. I mean, the only reason I'm here is because of this: Erik, you and me. Maybe I should move away. I know Erik would love that," he chuckles lamely.

"Oh..." I am at a loss for words. He's been my best friend for my whole childhood, for him to disappear again pains me. "But you'll come see me again, won't you?" I hold his hands in mine, hot tears stinging my eyes.

"Maybe," he manages a smile. "Who knows what the future will hold?"

"Yeah, who knows..." I echo. "I'll miss you. I'll miss everything we did together."

Little Lotte, let her mind wander

Little Lotte thought: am I fonder of dolls, or of goblins, of shoes, or of riddles, of frocks

"Those picnics in the attic," he recalls.

Or of chocolates

"Father playing the violin-" With a throbbing smile, the old melodies play in my mind.

"-as we read to each other the dark stories of the north." We both fall silent, gripping each other's hands tighter. "Little Lotte is finally with her Angel of Music."