Through Your Notes

Friday

Friday

11.55 p.m.

  I can’t seem to go home. I sit on the staircase, where you sat.

  I stare at the screen of my phone.

  My hand trembles.

  I reluctantly tap on the contact.

“Albert Miller speaking. I’m sorry, will call you as soon as possible. Leave your message after the beep. If this is Klara, daddy’s sorry and I love you, K.”

Beeeeep.

“Hey, Pops. It’s K. How are you doing? I am doing perfectly fine here. Have you met Nana Miller? OOf course, you have. Oh, and Grandpa Miller? Do you get to eat your favourite food? You’ve been craving for Nana’s dishes so I bet your cravings have been satisfied. You’re so lucky, do you know that, Pops?

   “Everyone is doing great here. Mr. Sullivan is handling the company well. You got richer, Pops. Well, it’s all mine now. The penthouse is in a great condition. Mrs. Lamb got sick so she had to quit. Yes, I do clean the house and I cook too. Breakfast and dinner. I eat lunch at school. They serve amazing Shepard’s Pies. But, they can’t beat Nana Miller, though.

“My grades have been great. I had a rough time for a few months but I got back on my feet. It was hard in the beginning but it gradually gets okay.

“I have been reading a lot lately. Not that I haven’t but it was more than before. I even read some business books that you loved. I write too, you know. Poems and short stories, mostly. I sketch too. I sketch the sceneries and you too, sometimes.

“Hey, Pops. Actually…

“I… I… I lied.

“I am not okay. I am at the park right now. There are so many people here even though it’s already past midnight. So many people yet I feel lonely. I feel so lonely. I’m lonely, Pops. My friends aren’t really my friends. They… They… They are only my friends because I am rich. They talk behind my back. I don’t know what to do with them. If you’re still here, you would tell me what I should do with them. I am clueless. I don’t know what I should do.

“Everyone tells me to study hard and make you proud and happy. I am sure I want that. But, I do sometimes feel like it’s useless to be successful when you’re not around. I am doing this for you and me. Now that you’re not around, it’s just useless. You don’t get to attend my graduation. You can’t witness me standing on the stage receiving my degree cert. You don’t get to see me in my doctor’s coat with my stethoscope on my neck. You don’t get to say ‘Congratulations, you did it. You’re a doctor now.’ You can’t see me working. I don’t get to treat you.

“You don’t get to marry me off. You don’t get to say ‘Take care of my daughter. You hurt her, you die.’ to my future husband. You don’t get to see my first child, your grandchildren.

“We have so many things that we need to do together. Remember when we plan to go to Australia together?  I want to travel with you. I want to witness the sunset at the beach with you. I still want to go for late night drives with you. I still want the impromptu visits to the restaurant at midnight. We have a lot to do. So much. I am dying right now. I don’t even know what to do…

 “I’m sorry, Pops. I’m sorry.

 “I’m sorry I couldn’t visit you. I wanted to but I am not strong enough yet. I miss you. I miss you so much. It’s killing me. Everyone thinks I’m strong but I’m not. I am so weak. For hiding. And, they don't notice that.

“I love you, Pops. I hope I can see you soon. I can’t stand being lonely anymore.

  I love you. Bye.”