𝐍𝐎 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐎 ||| 𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐧

You Break Faster Than The Today That Left Us In Mornings Dawn

(//mentions of bipolar depression, ASPD, anxiety, meds, therapy and trauma)

Ryan's leg—his good one—bounced up and down, waiting for the doctor to come back with the results. He could hear him talking from outside the door, it was incoherent and that's what worried him most. What if he did need help? What if he wasn't fine? Would Dallon still want to be with him? What would happen?

His thoughts were cut off by the door opening and revealing Dr. Rosario again. He closed the door behind him, flipping around in his clipboard. Ryan couldn't have felt more anxious.

"After many tests we've come to the conclusion that you in fact do have ASPD, along with bipolar depression and anxiety. You can only start your meds if you would like to, which is highly, highly recommended, but you'll have to start in a few more weeks. I'd also recommend therapy, of course that's up to you as well. You might have a few other things but this is what we came out with. We believe the main cause of this is trauma, and the rest due to hereditary causes"

With each word that came from the doctors mouth, Ryan was sinking another three feet. How? He thought he was fine, so where did he go wrong? It felt like nothing he did worked. Supressing his emotions, letting them free, trying to deal with them the healthy way, he's tried everything. Yet nothing, not one thing had worked. Why was this? Was it just another set up for failure?

What was wrong with him?

An unwilling sob left him, which he tried to cover up as a cough. He bit his palm through his gloved hand, trying to hide the redness that his face had started to become.

"Shit, um yeah, okay"

!¡!¡!¡!¡

"Ryan please tell me..."

Dallon would admit that he felt left out. How you would feel when there was an inside joke and you had no idea what it was but everyone else did. Though, this wasn't some joke.

"I will, just give me some time. I'm just really tired"

It wasn't a lie, those tests were boring and they made Ryan very tired. He also was trying to avoid telling Dallon, scared about the outcome.

A nod came from the taller. "Oh, uh, ok. You can take a nap if you want, the drive home is a little long"

Ryan didn't give up the opportunity, laying in the seat on his side, doing what he could to make best of the arm pillow he had made with himself. Once he was comfortable he felt a coat being draped over his body, giving him some sense of warmth.

It smelled of Dallon, which was rather rare since Ryan was always taking his stuff. Dallon didn't even smell like himself because of how often he was with Ryan. It was a nice refresher.

"Get some rest baby, I l-uh, goodnight"

Dallon was basically talking to a wall. Ryan was already passed out, snoring quietly. Dallon thanked all Lord's that Ryan didn't hear his little slip up. That just would've caused more problems, and he didn't want that.

He just wanted Ryan to be happy.

!¡!¡!¡!¡

"Woa-huh-what the fuck!?"

Ryan shot up in confusion to see Dallon pulling his pants off. He was in his bed, and it was dark outside the windows. He had a different shirt on, and his shoes were taken off. Dallon looked a little startled, but smiled seeing Ryan was awake.

"Morning sleepyhead"

"What?"

Dallon always found his forgetfulness quite adorable. He hadn't had a clue to what happened, completely and utterly confused.

"You fell asleep in the car, and I didn't want to wake you up so I just carried you up here. You looked uncomfortable so I thought I'd change you into something else"

Ryan buttoned and zipped his pants back again. "Well I'm fine, and I can change myself"

Dallon frowned a bit, but decided not to push it and instead move onto a different subject.

"Well I made dinner if you're hungry, and if not I got you some ZQuill incase you want to go back to sleep, and if you don't want to do either of those we can do whatever you want"

Dallon hoped that whatever Ryan wanted to do was something they can do together. He had missed having fun with Ryan and getting to make him smile. Lately he had just been down.

Ryan nodded, stretching his limbs out. "I'm gonna take a shower" He muttered, getting out of bed.

Dallon tried to hide his sadness at that, which didn't work very well. Ryan had noticed very quickly, and sighed.

"—and we can watch a movie after or something I guess"

Ryan stumbled his way to the bathroom, not without getting a glace of the wide smile Dallon had.

Maybe he does have something to be happy about.

Word count-823
Idk what to put here fhdhskrj but uh next chapter is gonna be fluffy