Killer Game

Chapter 05

               After a couple of days Alex was not carrying just the headphones around with her but a hugging pillow too. The pillow was almost as big as she was and the pillowcase had a beautiful drawing on it with a cherry blossom. It was too big and too heavy for her so quite often she pulled it after her.

Jong wasn't bothered by the strange sight. He often found it funny. The fact that bothered him was her sleeping habit. She was rarely awake and that made him feel abandoned.

One night after he finished working he went to her to wake her up.

          - Can we talk please?

          - About?

          - About the fact that you are barely awake and we don't speak anymore.

          - I'm listening.

          - Really? Do you? - the girl yawned - Because it doesn't look like that.

          - What do you want me to say?

          - Nothing just forget it.

He turned and start walking with the intention to leave.

          - Hey, I didn't know it will bother you.

Alex went after him and took him by the hand to stop him. When she realized what she did she let go. Beside the fact that Jong carried her in his arms sometimes they did not touch. He didn't know why he was comfortable doing that. Anyway he did it only with her and for her. Touches can lead to proximity and they were trying to avoid that. It went without saying that touching was forbidden. They forbade it to themselves.

          - I...  - she stopped because she did not know how to formulate the sentence. - I slept because I couldn’t do it right for years. I sleep here during the day because I can't do it at night because of nightmares. For the first time I feel ok to do it because I know you will not hurt me. I need to regain my strength. At least what's left of it.

          - I'm sorry I didn't think of that.

          - You do not have to be sorry. You didn't know. I also did it to avoid you.

          - But why? We need to talk to each other. We need to know each other in order to survive.

The dim light of the studio made him even more appealing. Alex looked away and made a step back.

          - I don't know how to talk to you.

          - It's okay if you talk directly with me. It's comfortable. Just a few people talk to me like that and even they are not as direct as you are.

          - This way of talking is not always an option, is it?

          - Did something happend which I don't know about?

          - I told you that this is not a coincidence.

          - Yes you did.

          - I didn't tell you why. You are my weak spot.

          - Because I'm beautiful and delightful? - he said jokingly.

Alex smiled.

          - One of the reasons. Don't fall for me, ok?

          - I do not want to offend you but you are not my type. Indeed you are something else. I must admit that I like the way you see things. There are a lot of girls around me. Some of them want my body. Some of them want my money. Some of them want my fame. Some of them are my fans. Some of them think they know me or they know my soul. I let them because I  know too little about myself. Beside what I know it may be really the way they think about me. You, you see me totally different from what I know. I like what you see. I said you're not my type because that's what I think I know about myself but maybe you are totally my type but I don't know it yet.

          - Your cage is a really shiny one but is a very small one. No wonder your soul is dying.

          - Well that's the way things are.

          - I can see how your feelings drive you crazy sometimes.

          - Let’s stop here.

          - Fine but when you are ready to talk I am here to listen.

          - Can you help?

          - I don't know. Are you ready to give up on what is hurting you?

She saw the look on his face and she easily could see that he was hurt.

          - Let’s go home. - he said smiling.

          - You don't need to smile. It is just too cruel.  - she said with a sad voice.

She turned after her pillow but he grabed her by her arms and turned her to face him.

          - Don't talk to me like that. I'm not someone feeble who needs your pity!

          - It wasn't pity. I just know how bad it hurts every smile. That's all.

          - I'm not used to people around me...

          - I know. It's annoying that someone can see inside of you without your permission. It will not happen again.

          - You're right it's annoying but at the same time it's comfortable. I don't have to hide anymore so don't stop, please.

          - As you wish.

He let his arms fall beside his body. He was so tired that sometimes he forgot to breathe... the process seemed to tire him even more.

Alex realized that in the condition they were none of them could have fought with what was to come. She went to him and huged him. Jong huged her back. Both of them forgot how pleasant it can be.