wasted times- s.r

NINETEEN

The loud honking of your car horn behind him causes Spencer to flinch, nearly dropping his satchel on the concrete. He turns around to meet your eyes in the driver's seat, walking into the car and sitting in the passenger seat placing his small bag on the floor between his legs. 

"You're going to give me a heart attack one day."

"You need to loosen up. You're so uptight sometimes!" You giggle, playfully reaching over and giving his thigh a pinch. Not too hard enough that it hurts him, but enough to elicit a small yelp of surprise. "Stop that!" He seizes your wrist, enclosing his larger hand around your wrist to keep it firmly in place while you continue to drive with your other hand. He lets your hand sit there for a while before hesitantly link his fingers with his, placing them on the center console of the car.

You give him a small side glance, the corners of your lips turning up slightly from the contact. You feel his eyes on you as you continue driving, your gaze focused on the road, but you can still see him in your peripheral vision. His body is leaning up against the car door with his knees facing you, his arm stretched out with his fingers still locked with yours. "So..." he trails off, his thumb rubbing at the back of your hand. "Why the sudden departure?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," he remarks. "We were supposed to leave tomorrow. Why the change of plans?" 

You inhale quietly, tightening the grip of your left hand on the wheel slightly. "I got into an argument with Nate," you say as vaguely as possible, not wanting to relive the argument again. "About how he's in love with you?" You nearly stop the car entirely, your head shooting over to the passenger seat, where Spencer's absently spinning the ring around your middle finger.

"How did you- What?" You sputter out, him still not looking surprised by the turn of events the conversation took. "He all but told me he was going to make a move on you once I was out of the picture," he says with a sheepish smile. Your mouth falls open slightly in shock, finding it hard to believe he'd said that. But then again, you also found it hard to believe that he was in love with you, so you just keep finding out all kinds of information today. 

"Was it really that obvious?"

"Painstakingly," he answers with a small chuckle, and you feel the need to bury your head in your hands in embarrassment. When stopped at a red light, you groan, leaning forward to rest your forehead on the wheel, turning your head to face Spencer. "I feel terrible."

"Why not? You did nothing wrong." You know he's technically right, but you can't help but wish the situation was handled better. "As much as we like to think we do, we actually don't have much control over who we love and who we don't. You don't have to feel bad for not reciprocating his feelings. Some people are just meant to only be friends, and that's okay."

When the light turns green, the car behind you honks its horn which prompts you to start driving again. You know he's right, but simply thinking about the look of utter disappointment on his face brings a pit of guilt in your stomach. You remove your hand from his for a moment, reaching over to turn the radio on and fiddle with the knobs, hoping for some sort of distraction.

You settle on a station playing one of your favourite songs, turning up the volume slightly and going to move your hand back to the wheel, but Spencer doesn't let you get far before he's grasping your hand and intertwining your fingers again, placing them in his lap. By now, the sun is long gone and it's already dark outside, and you still have about six hours to go until you're back to Quantico. At some point, you're going to have to stop for coffee if you're going to make the rest of the drive, otherwise, you'll have to stop and rest in a hotel or something.