Hate How Much I Love You|| Sirius Black [2]

Chapter 7

Life in Azkaban gave Sirius the freedom to relive his memories, to think over past mistakes, to understand events from other's point of views. There wasn't much else you could do shackled up in a prison cell really. In between planning an escape, shielding himself as the dementors swooped past and yearning for Madison, Sirius closed his eyes and watched his life back like a muggle movie, pausing at certain moments to relish in them or even ponder over what he could have done differently.

Even after he escaped, he still had plenty of time to reflect to pass the days.

One thing that played through his mind often was Madison and her hitting him. Unbeknown to him was the conversation Madison and Remus had but the latter was right with every word he had said. Madison could stab him, could run him over with a car, could shoot him with a gun, put the cruciatus curse on him and he would still love her. Many people hit people out of anger, out of the moment of sheer shock, he understood that. Of course, he would flinch, after all his mother and father were notorious for hurting him, but if he deserved the smack- which in his eyes- both times he did, then so be it. Many people would disagree but that's just how Sirius felt.

He loves Madison to the bone, her mistakes were a thing of the past. Losing over a decade of his life meant that he didn't care about the hurt from his youth, he wasn't perfect, neither was she. Yes, she cheated but he had cheated before in a previous relationship and a hypocrite Sirius Black did not want to be. He had feelings for Marlene McKinnon before too, he couldn't fault Madison for liking her also, Marlene was a beautiful, intelligent woman. Sirius would have cheated on himself for Marlene.

Time seemed to go by quickly out of Azkaban, with a blink of the eye it was May, another, it was June.

June was an odd month in Sirius' eyes. It was getting hot during the day so summer was looming closer but it was just bland. Nothing exciting happened in June. It was just boring. The Thursday of the year per say, it was just before the start of summer (aka the Friday, Saturday and Sunday) but there was minimal to do.

As always he ventured to Hogwarts. He found roaming the castle grounds to be much more interesting, the risk being the most part of it, and listening to students' conversations always seemed to make him chuckle. He missed the care-free days in the castle, causing havoc and destruction but with limited consequences.

Consequences.

There was something building up in side him, well, it started on October 31st 1981, but now it was ready to peak. He needed the truth to be heard, the culprit to face the consequences, a weight to be lifted off of his shoulders so that he could gain some sort of life back. Life wasn't kind on him. First his family and then losing his friends and then Azkaban. Couldn't he have a chance to lead a good life?

From a westerly direction he heard cries of, "SCABBERS! SCABBERS! Scabbers come back!"

Tonight was the night.

* * *

That afternoon Madison spent the day with Remus and his daughter, Belle,  in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom telling the young girl some stories from when they grew up. Madison told her about the photo album she kept and how she must show Belle it, so that she could see her father when he was young. Talking to Belle seemed to bring light back into the dark. Her memories of school had been clouded by a deep, black shadow- a mix of pain, regret and guilt. Whenever she thought about it all, well, you already know it reduces her to tears, even though she was almost as dry as a desert with no tears left to cry. Yet, Belle's fascination and the joy that arose in her face because of it soothed her. The clouds began to roll on past and sun shine brightly on the memories, yet a shadow still loomed in the corner.