Hate How Much I Love You|| Sirius Black [2]

Chapter 3

Sirius roamed the edge of the Forbidden Forest where he saw his best friend, Remus Lupin, scaling the grounds with a student by his side. A peculiar looking girl, not small but not very tall, long blue hair falling down her back. Sirius sighed and scratched his ear with his paw. His friend looked well, not fantastic but well enough to be healthy. He was glad so, he couldn't bear the thought of losing yet another friend. 

Then, out of the blue, a mass of dark curls came bounding towards Remus and the student. He recognised the woman before him, tall and slender with a bright smile and beautiful eyes. Long, messy curls and a laugh that would melt his solemn heart. Madison Parker. The love of his life. The woman he lost to his stupid assumptions over a decade ago. Now, he would have expected to see Remus back at Hogwarts teaching but Madison- she couldn't get away quick enough!

His heart skipped a beat and his eyes roamed her body. She was equally as, if not, more gorgeous than she was all those years ago. Sirius whined at the sight, unable to stay there he left if he would have stayed he would have blown his cover and been caught. He also wouldn't have been able to leave Madison alone. She was probably married now, maybe had a child or two, without him. In some ways, he hoped she had because, in his eyes, she deserved to be as happy as happy can be, but at the same time, he begged and prayed she wasn't. He wanted to be the one to make her happy, to make her a wife, to father her children. 

Like that will ever happen... thought Sirius as he ran through the forest and off of the school grounds. He hopped onto the last train leaving Hogsmeade and hid under some seats until it reached London, from there he made his way through the busy streets until he reached the one street he vowed never to return to. Grimmauld Place. 

12 Grimmauld Place was and still very much is a sombre, joy-draining prison where Sirius grew up. Climbing the stone steps which had appeared before him, he counted slowly preparing himself for whatever curse was thrown at him the courtesy of his wretched family of Slytherins who found happiness in other people's pain. He shoved the front door open and... nothing. Not a single trap or trick came towards him as he shut the door behind him. He transformed into his human form and gagged at the horrific smell of mould and damp. 

"Begone trespasser of the noble family of Black!" A dreary voice shouted from the top of the stairs. 

Sirius chuckled dryly, "Kreacher," he addressed the old, ragged house-elf, "we met again you miserable sod."

"Master Black, whatever are you doing here?"

"I'm here to party, don't speak to me, i'm only here so I don't catch my death out there tonight but being back here might keel me over instead." Sirius kicked over a coat rack only to hear the screeches of his late mother whom he hadn't heard in years.

"The Mistress-"

Sirius waved Kreacher to shut up as he approached the portrait of the scowling woman. He detested his mother and the feeling was mutual on her part as her portrait turned her nose up in disgust at the sight of her eldest son. "Mother." Said Sirius spitefully, "do the world a favour and hold your tongue you old hag." He dragged the curtain that hung above the portrait and covered it over muffling her cries of anguish which soon died out. 

Kreacher went to uncover the portrait but Sirius charged towards him and grasped him by the back of his cloth. "Don't. I order you not to touch that awful painting! Do I make myself clear?"

Kreacher nodded, "of course, Master," he replied and trudged off out of sight. 

The man exhaled sadly and decided to roam the house. It looked as if it had been desolate for years despite the house-elf occupying it, however, the drawing-room seemed significantly cleaner than the rest of the house, not immaculate, but it would do. For now.

Time went by and each weekend Sirius would make a trip to Hogsmeade in hope of catching a glimpse of his godson, or Madison or even Remus but each time he failed. Until one weekend. At the end of the path, Sirius sat in his dog form idly waiting and looking around, a few students dropping him some scraps which he scoffed down without a second thought. He heard the sound of laughter he then turned his head to the right and in the distance he caught sight of Harry along with two other students - a redheaded boy who he recognised as a Weasley and a bushy-haired girl with buck-teeth. 

Sirius started to sprint and he ended up pushing his way through the blue-haired student and another redheaded boy, moving each other away from each other without a care in the world other than one that involved seeing his godson.  

Harry looked great and Sirius was thankful, he looked more and more like his father than he did as a baby, except for the eyes, they were certainly those of Lily Potter's. Sirius whimpered at his voice, if he was blind he would have claimed it was James speaking. "Hermione I'm being serious!"

No, you're not, thought Sirius, because you don't know how to be me because that bastard rat took that away from us!