Hate How Much I Love You|| Sirius Black [2]

Chapter 10

With fire a fuel is required. Madison watched as the flames danced and licked each other, crackling in the corner of the room. She followed the care-free orange and yellow flow, wrapping around the blood-red logs before hiding them with a flick of her wrist. 

The fire spat and whined as the flames hugged the fabric close, giving it warmth like Madison once did. It's colours faded and died out as a single tear rolled down her cheeks. Her tearful eyes stared at the disappearing clothing, not noticing Remus sitting beside her on the floor. 

Remus's eyebrows knitted and his jaw clenched seeing Madison toss memories into the flames. All that remained visible from the fire was the blush pink horn of the unicorn onesie she used to sleep in. 

"Not going to lie, as ridiculous that was, I didn't expect you to get rid of it," he spoke. 

Madison threw a t-shirt into the fire before shrugging. 

"He gave you that."

"I never liked it anyway."

Remus scoffed, grabbing a biscuit form the tin on the sofa behind them. He split it and passed her half. "Are you trying to get rid of everything? Why now?"

"Sometimes I sit and think that I should try and move on. That I should go on dates and meet new people but then I remember everything went bad when I wasn't with him."

"You're not with him now and nothing bad has happened?"

The fire spat a shower of orange embers. Even that knew Remus was wrong. Madison shook her head and swatted his. 

"What?" He laughed. 

"Were you not there when Minnie told us about what happened in Harry's first year, the troll that weird teacher and then last year with Lockhart? Or did I just imagine that entire conversation Moons?"

"Okay, that's true but did that happen to you?"

"Anything to do with Harry is to do with me."

"Maddie, he doesn't know you as more than his teacher."

Remus wanted to retract his words as soon as they left his lips. He reached for hand and she pushed herself up and wandered over to the window. Madison didn't need reminding and he was aware of that. His stupid slip of the tongue. He went and wrapped his arms around her. 

She melted into his embrace, she couldn't hate him or what he said when it was the truth. Maybe there would be a time where Harry would know of his aunt Madison and uncle Remus not Professors Parker and Lupin. Maybe when pigs fly. 

They were in the living room of Madison's parents house, Remus had resigned after Snape had let slip to some Slytherin's about his lycanthropy, Belle had moved in with Remus and his father, Sirius was in hiding. 

"This year really has been one strange one," she muttered, "is this when it's supposed to get better?"

"Yes, Sirius didn't do it, we will make sure he is cleared and we will get to be more to Harry."

Lochlan strolled into the room. "This was in the kitchen." 

Madison took it and watched as her father left. 

There was no surprise when she opened it and saw the familiar scrawl belonging to Sirius Black. 

Remus kicked back in the armchair leaving Madison to have alone time with her letter. 

Dearest Maddie, 

I need to speak to you. Just us. I have so much to say and I fear if I don't say it soon I will combust and then I really will be gone forever. Although, I'm sure you have wished that was the case. I hope not but I wouldn't blame you. 

I trust you know where I will be. Think, I would hate to ever return to such place but that's what I would do to see you Maddie. I'd face childhood me for an eternity if you were the light at teh end of the tube or whatever the saying is. 

Please. Tonight.

Toofdap 

x

'I'd face childhood me'.

Stepping into 12 Grimmauld Place was not on Madison's bingo card that year, or any year for that matter. It was darker than she expected and the pungent aroma of wet dog and musk flooded her senses. 

Her footsteps echoed and she followed a trail of footsteps through to what she could only assume was the dining room. Facing away from her was a mass of raven curls and two cups of steaming coffee sat on the table. 

"The coffee might be foul. I don't know how long its been festering in the cupboard for but I couldn't not offer you anything."

Their eyes met and her stomach fell. She half-expected the feeling of butterflies fluttering in her stomach like she had read in books but instead it was as if she had moths in there. Dead because of the lack of light. 

Sirius was worn, his bags were heavy and his cheeks hollow. But at least he was cleaner than when she had seen him in the shack a while ago. His curls were not as matted and he had attempted to somewhat tidy his facial hair. 

"Please, take a seat."

She did. 

Sirius yearned to find the words he had been storing up to say to her but he was at a loose end. He studied her in hopes that would spur some sort of reaction but it made him even worse. She remained as beautiful as she did the last time he saw her, and the last time before that twelve years ago. 

"It hurts," said Madison. 

"It does."

"So bad."

"You've grown into a stunning woman, Maddie, so beautiful I hope he is treating you good," Sirius told her, sipping the stale coffee and trying to stay neutral at the awful taste. 

She scoffed, "is that your oh so cunning way of trying to find out if I am single."

He smirked. "I hope you aren't."

"There's a reason you were not put in Slytherin because that was an awful way of doing that. I am single, Sirius, of course I am."

Sirius shook his head, and shuffled his seat closer to hers. He took her face in his hand and felt the soft skin of her cheek, ran his thumb over her cheekbone. "Madison, I am still utterly in love with you. If you could get shitfaced drunk from love, I would be paraplegic."

"I hate how much I love you, Sirius, but I don't know what to do."

He kissed her forehead, lingering there as a buzz of electricity rattled through his veins and he knees felt like jelly - that may be from old age or twelve years in Azkaban, however. 

"You don't need to do anything."

"But I was a bitch."

"Life's too short to worry about the actions of teenage us. Don't regret them but don't dwell on them. Let's just see what happens in the future. Besides, I need help making this place presentable for your favourite headmaster."

"Oh piss off."

A/N-

Thank you so much for your patience. Life really is ever changing and going from a tween/teenager spending everyday on Wattpad for hours to now being 20 years old balancing, university (here comes third year ahhhhh) and work, Wattpad has taken a backstep but I am hoping to get back into it. I love you all <3