Everything Changes

Just like old times (Chapter 12)

•I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape, cause I'm not fine at all.•
Amnesia- 5 Seconds Of Summer

*Julian's POV*

"Damnit!" I screamed, hitting my hands on brick wall that ran up my fire place.
"Calm down, Jules." Danny says trying to comfort me.
I haven't talked to Tay since the night of the Super Bowl; the night I told her I loved her.
I've tried contacting her in every way possible, I even tried to get Tom to talk to her, and nothing's worked.
"How can I calm down, Danny? I told her how I felt and then I made her freak out!" I paced. I've been like this since I got home, I'm sure it's not healthy because I've barely ate and if I've drank something it's probably been alcohol.
I grabbed my sweatshirt and keys off the counter, told Danny where I was going, and headed out.
I slowly pulled into the diner where we had our first date, and got out. I jogged through the parking lot because the rain was quite heavy. It fitted my mood to a T.
"Coffee, please." I ordered to the older looking, blonde haired lady.
"You okay, son? Seems like something's got you down." She said, placing the white cup of pure caffeine in front of me.
"Yeah. It's just that I told this girl how I felt about her and then she like freaked out and ran off. She won't answer any of my calls, either." I replied.
"Well, don't worry. She'll come around. See, us girls are weird like that. We're afraid of guys hurting us that we accidentally hurt them. It's weird, I know." She smiles as she places her wrinkled hands over mine.
I nodded, as I looked out the window at the passing cars and falling rain, thinking of Tay.

*Tay's POV*

It's been three days since the Super Bowl, the day Julian told me he loved me.
I didn't mean to freak out, honestly I didn't. I just didn't know how to react. The last time a guy told me that they loved me I believed them, then got utterly heart broken.
I don't really know if I love Julian or not. Sure, I deeply care about him, there was no lie there. But I'm scared to love again.
The thought of love made me feel like I was having a thousand panic attacks combined in to one mental break down.
I wanted to talk to Julian, and tell him that I'm sorry about what I did. But, I'm scared to because I don't want to hurt him. Man, why is everything so complicated?
"Tom?" I called through the house, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?" He answered, coming from the kitchen and into the living room where I was currently trying to study.
"Um, does Jules hate me because of what I did?" I ask, quietly closing my book that talks about different types of cancers or something like that.
"No, not at all. It's the opposite, actually." He says, sitting down beside me.
"Tom, I, ugh. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if I love him. I want to but I just...." I trail off.
"I know sis. How about you take a study break and we'll go get some ice cream, eh? Just me and you, like old times." He smiles.
I sit up and hug him, smiling,
"I love you brother."
"I love you too, sis."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Remember when you broke your foot trying to skateboard down that hill?" I recalled, as Tom laughed.
"Dude, worst pain I've ever felt in my life!"
"Those were the days, right? Before crazy fans and dumb relationships." I said the last part quietly.
"Tom, should I go back home for a little bit? Ya know, just to clear my head." I thought.
He looked at me for a second, then back down to his ice cream before answering.
"Me personally? No. But, as you told me that night, you are 26 years old and can make your own decisions." He responded.
I nodded my head in reply as I took a bite of my ice cream.

The rest of the day was quite fun, just getting to hang with Tom like when we were younger. We don't get to do that often anymore.
After showering and a little more studying, I jump in bed, staring up at the celling.
My phone buzzed from a text message.
'So I shaved for you.' Julian sent me a picture of his clean- shaven face.
'Thank you. It looks very nice. But, I'm sorry about the game and what all went down. Like super sorry.' I reply back, then save the picture of him as I giggle.
'It's okay, I understand. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it though, Tay.' He replies back almost instantly.
'God Julian stop being so pushy. Jkjk, but yeah I'm just kinda freaked out right now. But I really do care about you. Don't think any differently.'
'I know, Tay. I'll let you get some sleep, talk to you in the morning.'
'Okay. Night shorty.'
'Night Tay- Tay.'