A Year Of Confusion (Lily Evans x Reader)

Chapter Five

I climbed into the water and my hands slowly started to turns to there normal color. I climbed out and dried off. Throwing on some pj's that lily had brought in.

   I walked out and sat on my bed and swaddled up like a baby. Lily walked In, not to long after with a bowl of my favorite soup. "Thank you lily." I smiled. "Of course." She smiled.  "Love."  I started looking around the room for anyone who could have said it thought that. The only two people in our room was lily and I. I don't think lily thought that and even if she did I wouldn't be able to hear it.

Later I explained to lily what happened down by the black lake. All throughout I would get broken pieces to what someone was thinking. "Hate" "can't" "Will" "Leave" those were just some of the things I heard. I tried to block them out but it didn't work.

"You mean to tell me that THIS is you-know-how?" Lily asked, I nodded and her eyes widen. "Wow, and he's your uncle?" She Questioned. I nodded and she shook her head. "Th-Your uncle is evil." She said. "Ya, thanks for the reminder." I said and threw the picture. Lily sat next to me and started rubbing my back. "Hey, Hey, it's ok. Mayb-crap. I-I don't know." She sighed. "And you don't need to lils." I said and smiled at her, although I wished she did know the answer.

Lily and I actually left the common room to go have dinner with the teachers and other students that stayed for holidays.

"You kinda disappeared after what I told you miss y/l/n." Slughorn said and I laughed awkwardly. "Ya, um it was nothing." I lied, my eyes turned gold and slughorn, not knowing what that means, went back to eating. Lily pushed me lightly and looked at me. "Why didn't you tell him?" She asked. "No need for slughorn to worry." I shrugged.

After dinner I walked back to the common room. Lily followed me. "Hey, you should have told him about you-know-who." She said. "I know lily, it's just there to much on my mind right now." I said and stared into the fire. "Like what?" She asked. "I just found out my uncle is the dark wizard of the year, my dad and mum murdered people, plus I have to deal with my own emotions!" I ranted. "Emotions about what?" Lily asked. I realised I had said to much. "Nothing, just drop the last part." I sighed. "Lier"
I new this time that it was lily that thought that. "Then what do you think lily?" I asked and looked at her. "Your feelings for Remus." She chocked. "Remus." Her thoughts where why more clear then normal. "Lily?" I Questioned and she looked up at me. "Do you still like James?" I asked. Her eyes widen. "I don't know do i" "ya of course." She smiled. "Your lying." I smirked. "Oh my god, you like someone else spill." I laughed. "It's complicated ok." She sighed and took a set. "And would you stay out of my head, I thought you couldn't read my thoughts." She said quickly changing the subject. "I couldn't, something must have changed because now I can." I said. Lily sighed and took a set next to me. "Well maybe I'm more opened minded, maybe I let you into my head." She said. I nodded and then lily grabbed my hand a pulled me up. She looked at the clock and then back at me. I don't know about you, but I want to go build a snowman." She smiled. "Lily, the last time I went outside I almost froze to death."
I said and she rolled her eyes. "Your being over dramatic about the to death part, but fine we'll go out tomorrow." She said and pulled me up to the room.

Lily and I sat and talked about our either boyfriend or fake crush for an hour, she had a lot to say about James. Eventually she went to bed leaving me awake. Is white fear, shock, Confusion. I don't know. And my hands weren't white from being cold they where actually quite warm, so what happened when I saw you-know-who and why.