Ludic Selcouth #3: Dancing Keys

Key #14

I was walking through the hallway of the house when I heard muffle voices from the study room. I stopped and peek inside, the door is slightly open.

"Is it really better if we'll take her home in the Philippines? Won't she get worst?" it's mom's voice and they're talking to my psychiatrist. I snickered and backed away. Uuwi na kami ngayon, bakit tanong pa sila nang tanong?

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa marating ko ang kuwarto ko. I snatched my coat from the coat rack and wore it. I also wore my beanie before grabbing my bags ang luggage. Hinila ko 'yon palabas at bumaba na.

Naabutan ko si Ina sa baba at may inaayos sa bag niya. She's coming with us, she'll also transfer school in the Philipines. She looked at me when I sat on the couch.

"Are you all set? Your mom and dad are still talking to your doctor, let's wait a bit." I just nodded and continued staring at the staircase.

"Do you feel excited?" I looked at her briefly and shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't feel anything." I said honestly. I'm not excited, happy nor sad. I feel hollow. She went silent after sighing. She tapped my shoulder but I remained stoic.

I just sat there until I saw mom and dad, along with the psychiatrist, going downstairs. I smiled back when the doctor smiled at me.

"I wish for your peace of mind, Kinsella. Have a safe trip." she said before she said goodbye to my parents and Ina. Nang makaalis siya ay kinuha ko na ang luggage pero pinigil naman ako ni daddy at sya na ang kumuha non. May mga pumasok ding helpers para tulungan kami sa mga gamit.

Walang salita akong lumabas ng bahay at dumiretso sa sasakyan. I put a travel pillow around my neck and leaned on the backrest. I just waited for minutes until they all went inside of the car. Nasa backseat kami ni Ina at sina mommy nasa harap, dad is driving.

"Do you want something to eat first, Ava?" mom asked as she glanced at me through the rear view mirror. I shook my head and glanced outside.

As dad drove into the road, the beauty of London was revealed. This place is beautiful.. almost magical.. This is the dream destination of most people who wants to travel.

Halos nalibot ko na ang Europe, I've been to a lot of countries and I have the things that most people wish they have. My family has a lot of money and to be honest, I should be contented. I should be happy. Nakukuha ko ang lahat ng gusto ko. I was envied before because all of my possessions came from the expensive designer brands.

Lahat mamahalin. Kaya mahal din ang singil nina mommy sakin.

My happiness, true passion and freedom. Those were the payment for all the expensive things that I owned. A payment for all the luxuries that I lived on.

Kahit anong estado mo sa buhay, mayaman ka man o mahirap, hinding-hindi ka pa rin makakatakas sa mga problema. Kahit lumalangoy ka na sa pera, hindi ka pa rin titigilan ng mga pagsubok na susubukan kang sirain.

"Do you want us to organize a party for you when we finally reached home? You can invite all of your friends so you can catch up with them. We didn't get to celebrate your debut properly because you were at the hospital." I continued staring at the cars and bicycles passing by. The beautiful old edifices of London.. the landscape..

This place would have been an important place for me.. only if I didn't experience my wreckage here. The people here judged me.. insulted me. Until I can't take it anymore—

"Ava? Are you okay?" I flinched when Ina touched my arm. Binawi ko ang braso at tumango.

"I want to sleep." they didn't try talk to me again after I said that.