Go, Go, Go

Racing through my mind

A/N: Hey guys I hope this isn't too terribly late . I've been fucking badly sick with the flu since the day after I made this so . Sorry! Love you guys . Go on now .

Kellins Pov.
I woke up to the sound of my dad screaming at the top of his lungs . He wasn't in my room. He wasn't screaming at me . No, he was downstairs screaming at my mom . I couldn't hear much of what he was saying but I did catch a few things . " We were supposed to use that money for your councilor Lisa! He doesn't fucking deserve a new councilor ! You don't even have one! " My whole mood changed from okay to depressed when he said , " Just kick him out! " because then my whole world seemed to crash down . The little hope that I had left that he wouldn't kick me out soon got thrown out of the window . " No ? Okay no fucking problem Lisa ! ILL DO IT ." He said followed by him stomping up to my room. A few tears eased out of my eyes just before he made his way to my door . I didn't bother to look at him . I just stared nowhere in particular with a straight face . If this is gonna happen I need to be strong for the time being . " I'm sure you heard everything. So, get out of my house and don't come back ." He said with anger . He walked a few feet before walking in and slamming the door to his room across the hall. I slowly sat up and made my way to the door, closing it gently. Then , I lost it. I broke into a million pieces and fell to the floor in a fit of what seemed to be a million tears . I scattered off the floor in panick to find my blades . As soon as I found the CD case I had them in , I opened it shakily and started to drag one across my skin.

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After I calmed down a bit , I started to pack . I had a few suitcases that would do so I shoved all my belongings into them as best as I could . The only thought that was running through my mind was ' what if he's still mad at me and doesn't take me in ? ' but I was sure he would ... I heard a few knocks on my door before I looked up and saw my mom standing there with red puffy eyes from obvious tears from earlier. I looked back down to my suitcase as more tears filled to the brim of my eyes . I heard her move across the room to me and sit on my bed . I just kept my head down. If I saw her again I would lose it . " Kellin." She said softly. I looked up and sure enough I lost it . She put her hand on my back and rubbed it soothingly. Why ? Why'd he have to do this? Am I that much of a pain in the ass? Am I really ? " Baby ." She said nearly choking on tears . " Baby are those from earlier ?" She said reffering to my fresh cuts . I slowly nodded my head , more tears falling from my already tired eyes . " I'm really sorry baby I tried to talk him out of it .. " She croaked , tears starting to fall from her eyes . I pulled her in for a tight hug and breathed her in . Maybe this was the last time Id ever see her... " Mom.. Mom I'm so sorry. If I knew I was such a bad kid I -" " Kellin you're not a bad kid . He's a bad guy.. Unfortunately I can't leave him.." She said cutting me off . No , she couldn't leave him and I knew why. He threatened to kill her if she did... Id rather be kicked out then have him kill her . " Here." She said pulling back and handing me money . " Please use this on Vic . You need him. You really do ." She said looking me in the eyes silently begging for me to promise . " I will . I promise mom." I said quietly and stood up. " I - I need to go before I lose it again mom.. I can't stand looking at you and thinking I'll never see you again.." I said . She nodded and stood up as well, engulfing me in a tight hug. And with that .. I was off to what I hoped would be my new home for a while ...