Go, Go, Go

Chapter 8.

A/N : Yah what a grayt title . IdgaF 😂 love you guys . I'm writing this during 2nd period so excuse any mistakes .

Kellins Pov.
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and a slight breeze to my cheek. I looked over to see that Vic was awake, on his phone. "Don't you have to work?" , I asked . He looked over and smiled . "It may not seem like it but you just scared the living hell out of me." I slightly laughed for the 3rd time since yesterday and sat up. " But no, today is my day off . " I nodded . Just then, questions of Vic filled my head. " Why did you pick this job?" , I asked bluntly. He looked over to me and paused in thought. "To be honest , it's not really a job. I told them not to pay me but they insisted on atleast $30 a week, " he said ," I like helping people... and honestly it's a good way to make friends," he admitted. I nodded with a slight smile." Well, you're off to a good start with me,"
I said honestly. He laughed and scooted a little closer to me. " I'm 19, and decided to not take college. I'm not legally allowed to have this 'profession' considering I didn't go to college, but the guys there are my best friends and they think I'm a great therapist ," He said proudly. I smiled. He's 19. Only two years older than me, he's so young, and yet he decides to spend his time trying to make others happier, and I find that insanely kind. "Would you like to go out today?" He asked. My eyes went wide and I felt my cheeks heat up against the cool morning breeze. He saw my facial expression and quickly corrected himself. " Oh! No! N-Not like that, I mean like as.. friends." My blush quickly went away and for some reason I was slightly disappointed, but my eyes were widened even more when he said , " as friends". The word echoed through my mind for what seemed to me years. I hadn't had a friend other than Jesse for years. " Kellin?" Vic questioned when he saw how shocked I was. I quickly snapped out of my daze and cleared my throat. "F-Friends?" I stuttered. Confusion filled his expressions as he replied, " Of course . Why wouldn't we be friends?" I shook my head with a small smile. " I haven't had a friend other than Jess in years.." , I trailed off thinking of what this could mean. Having a friend? That means hanging out and- and bonding. I was more than happy with Vic's presence by now. " I don't understand why. You're a great guy.", he said with a smile. I laughed and shook my head. " No, I-I'm quite terrible." He laughed and shook his head. " I'm not buying it. " , he stated . " C'mon lets go." I swiftly stood up on the roof and crawled back through the window with the soft blanket. Vic followed closely behind, bringing in the pillows.

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I laughed and spit out my water. " What the fucking hell?!" I screamed. " I know! I know! He had no idea she had a boyfriend and to see Jaime get hurt so badly by him amused me on many levels." Vic replied with a thick laugh. We fell under a comfortable silence. We were sitting in the park on the double slides , watching the sun slowly set. "Matty left me a note before he left.." I trailed off. "Yeah?" Vic replied, making a bit of eye contact with me. I nodded my head and quietly continued. "It just made me realize how right you were yesterday about moving on." I finished with a smile. " The note stated that he loved me with every fibre in his being but he wanted me to find someone new. He said he'd only be looking down on me with a smile if he saw me happy . He said he wants me to move on and find someone new no matter how much it hurts." I said, remembering the old neatly folded, but slightly ripped note. That's just how much I loved Matty. I'd been hurting for 3 years now. An unbearable pain on some days. But now that I've learned that there's no point , I'm more open to moving forward. "Kellin?" My head shot to the familiar voice. "Justin?" I smiled and slid down the slide to hug him. Vic slid down shortly after with a confused expression. "Who's this?" He questioned. I met Justin's eyes and smiled. He leaned down and captured my lips ,wrapping his arms around my small frame. Nothing... I felt nothing. For some reason now, this all felt wrong. I pulled away and stepped back. "U-Uh.. " I stuttered. "Wow, that's something I'd rather not see." Vic said with a slight chuckle and a ... disappointed expression? " U-Um that's Justin.." I explained to Vic. He nodded , rubbing the back of his neck. " I missed you. Sorry I've been missing your texts and calls, I lost my phone. " Justin said. He stepped forward and cupped my face, kissing me with passion and playing with my tongue. By now I felt nothing but disgust. I pulled away and stepped back further. "Justin I-I don't think I'm ready." I said and turned around, walking towards Vic. Justin quickly grabbed me by the hips and forced my back to his chest. " Nonsense Kellin. What happened to your confidence? And what about that talk I gave you? I would never hurt you." He said softly before sucking at the back of my neck. "Justin he said stop." Vic warned. Justin trailed his hands up and slipped them under the brim of my pants. Tears formed in my eyes as feat quickly arose. "Justin he said stop!" Vic yelled. He ran up to me and tugged me away from Justin before harshly pounding his fist into Justin's face. Vic pulled back and took me into his arms which I gladly accepted. I stared at the ground behind him with an emotionless face and stinging eyes. " Jesus fucking Christ ! What are you, his boyfriend or someshit?!" Justin yelled and angrily walked away. "Are you okay?" Vic whispered to me, pushing some hair out of my face. I shook my head and sighed. " Kind of thought he was different , that's all." I said and wiped a few tears from my face. " Hey.. I ordered food." Vic said after a few minutes. My face semi- lit up at his words. I hadn't had food in a few days. I wasn't starving myself. Atleast that's what I'd tell him if he found out.

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Vic's Pov.
I smiled absentmindedly at the stars. I was currently laying down on the grass as Kellin sat against a tree. We just got done eating the pizza that I had delivered to the park and Kellin insisted on studying for school. It honestly made no sense considering he didn't have school. He thought that I thought he had school but his mother mentioned that he didn't when she came to me to help him. I sighed. Why would Kellin lie? Sitting up, I stared at Kellin in thought as he swiftly moved his pen across the notebook. He took notice of me and closed the notebook, setting it down. " I guess that's enough studying .. heh.." Kellin said softly. I nodded and looked at the ground. " What were you really doing?" I blurted out. " I said school work Vi-" " But you don't go to school." I said , quickly cutting him off. He sighed and picked up the notebook. He stared at it in deep thought with a nervous expression and hesitantly handed it to me. I took it and read the name on front. ' Kellin's Journal' it read. " Why would you lie to cover up something like this Kellin?" I asked . He just shook his head and sighed. " Doesn't matter." He said, quickly dismissing it. "Did you think I was going to judge you? " I asked quietly. He stared at the ground and nodded slowly. " Oh Kellin.. " I trailed off and scooted closer to him. " Look at me." I ordered and lifted his chin up to look at me. My breath hitched. His eyes were beyond beautiful. Beyond gorgeous even. They shined brighter than the stars. They were a deep ocean blue green that had the ability to stop my heart instantly. "Vic?" Kellin whispered, sending me back to reality. He had a bright blush throughout his cheeks. " Oh.." I said, shifting my eyes to the ground for a split second before meeting his again with a chuckle. " I-Id never judge you Kellin. You shouldn't be embarassed about something you love to do. If it makes you feel any better , I have one too but instead it says ' Vic's diary.' " I said with a chuckle. Kellin smiled , a small chuckle escaping his lips as well.

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Still Vic's Pov.
" I just feel like no one understands Vic.." Kellin trailed off with a sigh. We were currently sitting in my office for one of his counciling sessions. " I don't.. self- harm because I'm sad or I want a distraction. I do it because I'm mad at myself... as stupid as it seems. " My heart stopped, mostly because I wasn't expecting him to open up, but also because I was confused as to why such a beautiful , amazing person like Kellin could have so much self hatred . " It's not stupid. But it's not okay. " I replied, taking his wrist and shoving up the sweater sleeve. His breath hitched and he flinched away. " Remember what I said about Judgment ? There's none with me." I stated before gently taking his wrist back and looking for his veigns. I could barely see them . There were hundreds, thoundsands even, of scars covering his whole arm. Weather they were horizontal, vertical , or diagonal , they all looked to be about a month or two old. It's sad really. How someone so amazing with so many wow factors could or would want to hurt themselves. And to see that Kellin hated himself so much, it broke my heart. " Vic , please stop crying." Kellin said barely audible. I hadn't even realized the tears falling from my eyes onto his arm. I looked up into his eyes, not even bothering to wipe the tears from mine. "I'm sorry . I just care about you so much.." I said. Kellin's eyes widened as his cheeks heated up. " You care about me ?" He questioned hesitantly. I quickly nodded and looked back down to find his veigns. " Look ." I said and pointed to the blue veigns underneath his skin. " These little guys are scared. They are trying for you. They are a part of you. If you hurt them you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be here to feel this." I said and brought his arm gently to my lips. I kissed each and every scar softly, making sure not to hurt him. " I sill think you're beautiful. And I dont ever want to lose my best friend. " I said afterwards. I looked back up to him to find tears forming in his eyes. " Why would you ever want to hurt them?" I asked. " Why would you ever tear your skin with a fucking blade? Why would you want to destroy something so perfect, so flawless , with something so cheap and worthless?" I asked , anger rising . " Vic I-" " No." I said cutting him off. " You need to see that you aren't a fucking pencil. Your blade is not your friend. You are perfect." I said . Silence grew over us and Kellin took my hands in his . It was quite a shock when he leaned forward and connected his lips with mine softly. My chest exploded in butterflies. Feelings of all sorts coming from my heart , but the strongest being passion. It was a weird but satisfying feeling. His lips felt like clouds and it was heaven to put my own against. I brought my hand up to rest against Kellins cheek . I was beginning to think Kellin was an angel. So delicate . So soft. So heavenly . So... perfect.