Call Out My Name (Darkiplier x Reader)

Eight - Exhaustion

It was a struggle, going through all of this. Your mind had conflicted feelings, not knowing how to process it. You almost cried on Darks shoulder- but right now... you would suck it up.

You didn't want to submit to crying on him, you wanted to have power, freedom.

Dark didn't deserve to have your fear, to be empowered by it.

Man, that was a change in mindset, what has gotten through you?

You found a book in a bookshelf in the living room, looking around at the scenery in your house.

The once old wooden decorations have become more modern, much more monochrome. But, that was to be expected.

Your mother always liked change, so you didn't care or practically notice anything too... drastic.

You yourself used to thrive in change, as you had so much of it- once you were done with school, you felt constantly stuck. It was a burden on you at this point, a burden you couldn't let go.

You looked at the text in your hand with disinterest. Maybe there is another way of entertainment, another way of forgetting what reality you're in...

Music.

That's a good way to escape, right? Forget about the man that is in your kitchen looking through the condiments that were in the cabinets and drawers.

You stepped onto the fake wooden floor, walking on it briskly. It was so cold.

You opened your closet, reaching into the very back- who knew these old things would come in handy in times of distress!

You grabbed what looked like a CD player. You didn't have any CDs on hand, but your mom did. You then hustled back to the main living area, finding a door nearby that led to your moms room.

It was weird, it seemed to be lived in, but didn't have the smell of perfume, or whatever your mom smelled like last time you saw her. But you weren't thinking about that all too much, your mind was on the CD stack that was in front of you.

Luckily, your mom had good taste. There were CDs of The Weeknd, Cigarettes After Sex, Mitski and many other good ones. You took them all, running back into your room.

You plugged in the CD player, immediately putting in a CD at random. You didn't even care, you just needed a distraction.

You slid the disc in, pressing play. It was Cigarettes After Sex (Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby if you're wondering-- great song)

You collapsed onto your bed, feeling dissociated from this realm. It was so soothing, so calming.

You watched the sun begin to set, a whirlwind of colors glistening in the sky, the clouds almost seeming too perfect. It was a good end to a terrible day, at least.

There was an array of colors that morphed into the horizons, purples, pinks, blues and oranges, you noticed each and every one of them.

How has a sunset been this mesmerizing? Have you not been looking for the good in the situation you're in?

Your mind shrugged that thought as it didn't even seem to be yours, but it snaked into your mind, lingering in the back of your head.

While you layed there, you thought about who you never wanted to think about again. His tall stature lingering in your mind, looking into your soul. His hands were crossed behind his back, his expressionless brownish eyes watching you and your thoughts.

Your thoughts about him seemed to watch over you, observing your mannerisms.

It hurt at this point, your thoughts were killing you. Your mind was puncturing who you once were, your memories fading into nothing more than just a blur, only the present.

The present is what mattered, hoping for a better future, not caring about the past. The friends you once had? Don't matter.

The family you had but dropped you while they're being obviously happier without you? Fuck them.

You wanted to care though, you curled up on your bed, the fabric covering your knees absorbing the tears that came out uncontrollably.

It had put this regret, this guilt. Why haven't you been there for them? They loved you, but faded away. Where are they now when you need them the most? Who did you have to comfort you? Yourself? No. You can't just be there for yourself.

You have been comforting yourself, suppressing your emotions for far too long, you needed somebody, but you had your walls to high up for there to be anybody else. It burned. It all burns.

You wanted to feel these emotions again, you truly did. Your eyes finally turned back to the window to see that there was nothing more but a shadow of the night. The beautiful stars and planes in the sky far above you.

It suppressed these emotions, draining them from you. You laid there, weak from the tension.

And with the darkness of the world outside, so did your room. You were unable to see past your bed, no lights were on.

And eventually, the disc stopped with a silent click. It was all far too quiet, and it messed with you. You sat up on your bed, looking around at the dark haze in your once lit room.

It was agitating, infuriating. Your mind hated the silence, there had to be something, wouldn't there? The cars that once drove by with music blaring through them were now silent, the neighbors have never been more quiet.

The burning, it came back. You didn't want to succumb to it, so you stood up, feeling the icy wooden floor beneath you. Your hands felt around the walls that led out of your room. The living room was a tad bit brighter, only enough for you to see a shadow of a man on the couch.

He didn't move, only looking down at the ground, his hand crossed on his lap.

By the broad shoulders and suit that was delicately wrapped around his fitted arms, you knew it would be Dark.

But, you didn't want to talk to him, you never did. You turned around, immediately heading back to your terrifying bedroom, you'd rather be there than be around him.

"Is that truthful?" Darks' voice seemed tired, drained from all life. He has not been in a great mood for whatever reason.

"What?" You stop in your steps, not willing to turn around.

"Am I just that irritating? Infuriating? That when you think of me it internally rips you apart? Have I put that much of a change in you?" You felt a small smug grin on his face.

As 'nice' he had seemed in past experiences, he did thrive off of your thoughts, your fears. It gave him the power to do as he wishes with you.

You remained silent though, as you had no response to give. You didn't want to give him his victory of saying yes, and you didn't want to anger him with saying no. You knew he didn't like liars.

"Already accommodating to my needs? We have made so much progress, my dear." You felt two hands possessively grip onto your waist, pulling you close to his body.

His breath lingered down your shirt, goosebumps growing all over your body.

Although it made you far too uncomfortable when he entranced you like this, his minimal affirmation and affection felt like a reward... and your mind thrived in it.

"Yes, it is a reward. A reward just for you." He cooed, confident by your reaction.

"Are there others?" You bluntly said, turning your head to the right.

"Why must you ask the silliest of questions. I believe you know the answer to that." But, you didn't. You never knew what was true and what wasn't, everything felt like a hallucination.

"You need to get some sleep soon, you seem very worried. Think about your actions today, we will see each other very soon." His voice echoed, his touch soon faded after it. You turned away, seeing where he once was.

You felt a haze of exhaustion ripple through you, your knees becoming far weaker than they once were. You had to listen to him, he would be pleased for you to get your rest. You deserved sleep, and so you did.

Your bed has never been more comfortable than this.