What if I don't wanna fall? (Austin Carlile Fanfic)

Lost feelings in my bones, this was the truth!

So you guys must hate me. I left you with a cliffhanger, for like a week. Sorry. I was going to continue with Levi in the chapter, but we need more Austin. So here he is. Also thank you for 1500 reads! Rock on guys! :DDD Enjoy

                                         Lost feelings in my bones, this was the truth!

"Austin?!" This is like the tenth time i called him. I walked over to him. "Dude what's up with you?" He continued packing chords. I touched his shoulder "Bro wh-"

His hand surrounded my neck, as he slammed me on the wall. "You make me fucking sick." He hissed through his teeth. I shoved him back. "The fuck is wrong with you?" He stumbled, and growled in frustration. He threw down a stack of chords. "You fucking lied! The both of you!" He stepped towards me, and i prepared to have to fight him back.

Austin was a big guy, compared to me. His height and muscle mass, could leave me lifeless. "Huh? Tell me Bourget?!"

I snapped into realization to what he talked about. I don't know why i didn't expect this to happen sooner or later. But i'm not the one who lied, and tried to hide it. "Look when me and Toby slept together i didn't even know you were in the picture." I barked back. His clenched fist and furrowed eyebrows slowly faded. He turned towards the wall. Impacting it, with his strength. The crumbling of the paint filled the room. Now laid a hole, the size of a baseball. 

"You slept with my girlfriend?" He growled. He charged after me. Attacking me with his fist. It impacted my face, over and over again. I pushed him off of me and on to the ground. I punched him, and he grabbed my leg pulling me to the floor with him. We soon rolled on the floor, me trying to get from his tight grasp, him trying to keep me in hitting distance. In the mist of our fight Alan, Tino, and Phil must've walked in because i was soon pressed against the wall opposite of a bloody Austin.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Phil shouted in my face. I was too busy staring at my best friend, or at least what i thought was my best friend. The man who just attacked me. The one who most likely is going effect our band. Ruin everything. Him. Or Austin. Alan and Tino held Austin. They seemed to be in more of a struggle. Austin continued to try and get to me. 

"Just let me the fuck go!" He yelled. I couldn't hear Alans soft words to Austin. Austin groaned. "I'm leaving, i'm leaving." He said calmly. They slowly let go of him. Alan and Tino cautiously walking behind him. He walked past me "Fuck you Shayley. Seriously." He spat.

"You think i'm not hurt too!" I barked back. He just shook his head. "What are you guys talking about?" Alan spoke up. Austin wiped some blood from his lip "Tell 'em Shay. Tell 'em how you fucked my girlfriend." He put a deep emphasis on "fuck" They all just stared at me. Austin slowly walked out the room, slamming the door behind him. Phil let go of me.

"You said you told him." Alan whispered. He started wrapping up the unwrapped chords. Phil just shook his head at me. He helped Alan with the Chords. "You better fucking hope he comes back. Or we can forget about  Warped." Tino hissed. He bumped me as he walked over to examine Austins damage. I helped with the chords. For the next hour we packed our equipment in utter silence. Silence she caused.

******************************************

My head was everywhere. I couldn't seem to collect my feelings. How did i feel? 

How do i feel? 

I have no idea. I'm more confused then ever. My love for Toby is over shadowing my anger. But it's not right for me to be mad at Shay; attack him, and not have a ounce of anger towards her. She deserved anger. She deserves every bit of anger i could give her. She constantly complains about me not being honest, yet she holds secrets bigger then any i've ever held. You slept with my best friend. 

Urm, your bestfriend?....

I still couldn't put two and two together. How? How did i not know. How did they keep such a big secret from my eyes? Why would they? Did they guys know? How?

"You think i'm not hurt too?"

"You think i'm not hurt too?"

Over and over again. Shays voice rang. Was he really hurt? Is Toby the suspect in this crime? Are we both the victims. Did she use us? What? I want to know?

I need to know....

I soon realized my surroundings. I was about a block away from Tobys school. The big brick grey building hovered above the rest of the small  houses and complexes. The big fence surrounding a bright green track, and football field. The faded out orange bleachers opposite the building. I reached the front.

I smiled as i remembered when i graduated from this place. I was standing on the small step by the door. My long white gown much too big for me. I smiled big, while small Amber stood next to me. Her fingers in laced in mine. Her big blue eyes popped as her grin grew. That was a year after mom died. Two months after i found out i had the same heart disease that took her away from me. Dr. Norla stood behind the camera. Taking the memorable picture. My family photo. The only family i had. 

 I checked the time. It was 12:11. Toby gets out of lunch in 4 mintutes. I traveled to the back of the school. The moutain of steps that lead to a old blue door, The paint peeling off, and the metal poles rusty and old. 

I sat on the first step. The sun beamed on my head. What was i to tell her. I doubt she wants to talk to me. But i need to talk to her. I need to get answers. I need to clear this up. 

I need her..

I heard the door creak open, and the sound of shoes step on the squeaky part of the door frame. I peeped behind me to see her. The love of my life. Her. Toby. She had her hair natural. Her long black waves. She didn't have makeup on either. Her beautiful tone. She looked so perfect, but then i saw something deeper. The girl that lives inside her. The one who told multiple lies to hide her life. The girl that broke my fucked up heart, again. I swore to myself i would never let a girl do it to me again. Not like Gielle. No one. 

Her eyes caught mine. I noticed her smile fade. She pulled her earbuds out and stopped. She looked at me in a way she's never looked at me before. The love that soaked her sight when we exchanged looks was gone. I looked almost as if seeing me was scary, she looked scared of me.

I'm a monster...We're monsters.

I slowly pushed some words out. I needed to get something out. I don't care what words fell, i just needed to murder the silence.

"I had a fight with Shay." I mentally shot  myself.

What a great converation starter, Austin.

I soon realized why she looked at me like that. My face must look destroyed. I still felt the stinging of my lips, and the heat that burned from my jaw, and cheek.

I noticed her choke on a word, "Why?" She spit out fast. She stayed her distance, right next to the door. Me on the step. I don't know how we were hearing each others words. I slowly stood to my feet. She became alarmed and watch my every move. I put my hands up in defense. I didn't want to tell her, why we fought. I would take this conversation somewhere horrible. I was going to attempt to finish but she spoke up first.

"Is it cause we used to date? Really Austin?" her voice was coated in annoyance. She no longer feared me, she was annoyed of me. Me? Yet she's the one who's still not saying the Truth. I wanted to give her another chance.

"It's not beacuse you guys dated, i'm over that." I spoke back. I tried to connect my eyes with hers, but she did everything in her power to find the tree behind me or the steps interesting. "The why?" She asked, her voice became low. As if she didn't recall sleeping with him. As if that isn't a possible reason. I sighed deeply

"I know you guys slept together." 

Gonna update super soon! 

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