Relapse / Recovery

Repetition

He had attempted to sleep real early on in the night, he probably laid down at about 9 but it took until at least 12:30 for him to fall asleep. This definitely kicked his ass the next morning when he was woken up at 6:30. An intercom in the corner of his room announced that it was time to get up and start the day. He laid there for another few minutes before getting dressed. He didn't want to be late for his first legit day. His schedule said they they started their mornings off with yoga and meditation so he threw on some sweat pants and a tank top. Comfortable and easy to move around in. The yoga session had a bit of an intense workout to it but was mostly breathing and stretching. The last 10 minutes of the session was saved for a guided meditation. He laid on a yoga mat and did as it said. 'Let the negative energy escape through your body and into the floor' whatever that meant, but okay. He did feel relaxed and the stretching was really nice too. He was always so sore from shows so it was nice to focus a good hour just on helping his muscles.

He slipped away to his room for a quick shower before heading to eat. He didn't want to go the rest of the day covered in sweat. And he definitely didn't want to stay in sweat pants either. He and his new group of friends all sat together as well as with some of the others that he had met the day before. They talked a bit about his schedule for the day and offered to help him find everything as the day went on. Rather than jumping straight into therapy, his day was started with a few informational classes. The first one he went to was about addiction in general, what was it and why did it happen. The second course was specific to drug addiction. He found these each really fascinating in their own right. He felt understood. Rather than thinking he was a total failure he instead recognized that he was just sick. Addiction was a disease just like cancer.

Once the two sessions were over he headed to lunch with his friends. Today he learnes that he didn't have to stay in the dining hall for the whole two hours. If he only ate for 30 minutes then he had the rest of this time to himself. That was good to know. He also didn't have to eat right at 12 if he wasn't hungry. He could wait as long as he wanted to eat just as long as he was ready to go by 2. Same for every meal. That would explain why no one got onto him for going back to his room to shower during breakfast time.

After lunch was over it was time for him to go to his first one on one therapy session. He had been to therapy a couple times before but he never stuck with it. He didn't like the idea of therapy. Why would he pay someone who didn't care about him to listen to his problems? If he really wanted to talk to someone he'd talk to someone who cared, like Kim or Paul or Dre.   He had honestly never felt like he needed to talk to someone that desperately. For the most part he just talked about his feelings in his songs. That was his therapy. Regardless though he still went to this therapy session. The first session went as they always do, more of a session to get comfortable with one another and come up with a list of topics to talk about in next sessions. They weren't going to jump right into the terrible details on the first sit down of course. He came up with a list of topics that might be worth looking into:

-his parents
-family relationships
-relationship with Kim
-Deshaun's death
-loneliness
-fame

It was a good start that could easily fill a few sessions. He talked a little bit about each bullet point so that his therapist knew what she was getting into.

Once that session had ended, the rest of the day went about exactly as it did the day before.

And so did the next day.

And the next day.

And the next day.

They switched it up a little bit on Friday and had a group party outside to celebrate the end of the week. They had music going. Snacks. Drinks. Games. Not much different from any other day besides a few extra things to do. It hadn't taken very long for Marshall to get use to his schedule. In fact, his day was so mundane that it didn't take long at all before he felt like he had already been here for a while. The sessions were essentially all the same every day. Even the informational sessions were a bit repetitive. Were they still informational? Of course. But once you had been to one of each kind you had essentially been to all of em. The only thing that ever eeally seemed to change was the food, the conversations with his friends, and the therapy sessions. Other than that it was damn near the same thing every day. And he knew that having a repetitive schedule was supposed to be helpful and comforting to people struggling with addiction but goddamn it was really starting to piss him off. He could be in the studio every day for a whole week straight and not one day would be like the others.