The Lili Hummel Diaries

March 18th, 2021

TW: Self-Harm, Eating Disorders (Anorexia and Bulimia), Depression, Anxiety

I sat down on the stage next to Quinn,

"Whatcha doing?" Quinn showed me the sheet,

"Stupid senior math homework." I laughed,

"It's not that bad, see that problem your working on, you just need to multiply the variable by two then solve for x." Quinn hugged me,

"For a sophomore, you're pretty smart." I blushed,

"Thanks." I helped Quinn with her homework, and Quinn helped me with mine. My wrist started to hurt, bad. I looked up and over at Quinn as she was putting her binder back in her backpack, and asked shakily

"Quinn?" Quinn sat down on the stage next to me,

"What's wrong?" I moved closer to Quinn,

"My wrist really hurts." Quinn looked at me casually pulling the ice pack out of her lunch box,

"Which one? I have first aid training, it's gonna be okay." I tried to grab Quinn's hand with my left hand wincing in pain,

"My left." Quinn grabbed my hand avoiding my wrist, looking at it,

"It looks like just a sprain, here can you hold the ice pack on it while I see if I have a brace of something to put on it." I placed the ice pack on my wrist wincing again, Quinn rummaged through her backpack.

"Here I found a brace, can I put it on your wrist, or do you wanna do it?" I grabbed my backpack holding onto it, starting to cry I looked back over at Quinn,

"Can you do it? Please?" Quinn nodded and grabbed my wrist,

"Of course. It might hurt, just let me know, ok?" I nodded, and Quinn began to put the brace on my wrist, Quinn accidentally scratched one of the healing cuts, I flinched,

"What's wrong? You okay?" I nodded and looked at my wrist to make sure Quinn didn't accidentally reopen one of my cuts,

"Yeah, you scratched one of the healing cuts, that's all." Quinn nodded and finished putting the brace on my wrist.

"Thanks." Quinn nodded,

"Of course." I leaned closer to Quinn's mouth getting close enough to feel her breathing I stayed there in that position for a moment before kissing Quinn. Somewhat surprised, Quinn kissed me back. The kiss lasted only a few seconds before I pulled away and ran out of the auditorium.

I walked home, not being able to text Kurt. When I walked into the house no one was there, a note was on my desk,

Lili,

Blaine and I had a double date with Finn and Rachel. Carol and Dad are working late tonight. I should be home around 9ish. I don't know when Dad and Carol are going to be home. Love you and please eat something.

-Kurt

I left the note on my desk and choose to jump in the shower, turning the water onto the hottest it would go, watching my skin turn red. After I looked like a ripe tomato, I turned the water super cold. I didn't stand in the cold water instead I puked up what I had eaten throughout the day. I turned the shower off, and laid in bed, and tried to sleep. After what seemed like forever, I got up and turned all of the lights off. I went upstairs to Kurts room, and grabbed one of Kurts hoodies, and went back to my bed. I was asleep for about two hours before the light turned on,