I'm in love (MafuyuxUenoyama)

Chapter 1:"My light"

I own my life to Uenoyama-kun.
Deep down I know that without him I probably wouldn't have been alive today.

After Yuki's death I just...Got into such a dark place that I didn't think I was ever gonna come out of.

Then I remember the day I met him.
When he fixed Yuki's guitar, it looked like I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
And ever since Uenoyama-kun taught me how to play the guitar he always helps me...

He always encouraged me to join the band, to write songs and express myself because he knew that I had the ability to do so.
Uenoyama-kun was the only one who believed in me when I felt like no one else did.
He gave me a feeling that I didn't think I'll ever be able to feel after Yuki's death- hope.

Whenever he's with me I feel safe,
Uenoyama-kun just feels like home to me.
I'll be forever grateful for having him in my life when I needed him the most.

I also love how patient Uenoyama-kun is.
I know he gets jealous pretty easily,
but whenever I feel down about Yuki,
he always comforts me, and doesn't judge me.
I was always scared that he would eventually get tired of me, but he chose to stay with me, to be my boyfriend even though eventually he will probably experience some of my emotional pain with me.
I'm not sure that he knows it,
but Uenoyama-kun has so much heart.

"Mafuyu?" I heard Uenoyama-kun's voice, and saw him raising his hand in front of my eyes.
"Huh?"
"You've spaced out again."
"Oh, sorry..."
"It's okay, what were you thinking about?" He asked.
About how much you mean to me...
"Ummm...What we're gonna have for dinner...?" I mumbled.
"I don't mind going to yours after we leave the studio and maybe order pizza or something."
"Yeah sounds good."
"Oh, Mafuyu..."
"Yes?"
"I'm not sure I've told you that but...I liked your new song."
"Oh...Thanks, I'm glad you did."
"You always succeed on bringing so many emotions into your songs, it's very amazing."
"Next time...I wanna write about you..." I whispered as I warped my arms around his, giving his arm a soft squeeze.
I could feel Uenoyama-kun's heart beating faster.
His reactions are so cute...

Uenoyama-kun stood up nervously "We should get going...Let me grab your guitar!"
I giggled as I watched him searching
for it.

...........

I remember the first time Uenoyama-kun was in my house, it was when I got sick after my first live performance.
He was so nervous, well...Uenoyama-kun's always nervous, it's really cute because from afar, he looks like a chill guy, it's kinda funny thinking about it now that I know him better.
"Oh, Uenoyama-Kun, my mom baked pizza yesterday, I think we have some left, so we don't need to order."
"Okay."
"Wanna watch a movie or something?"
"Yeah, sure." Uenoyama-kun sat on the couch and turned on the TV while I went to the kitchen.

.......

Later:

"The pizza was very good, thanks."
"Oh, you're welcome." I leaned my head on his shoulder "It's not your first time here, yet you're so nervous."
Uenoyama-kun flinched "I-I'm sorry, it's just..."
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"N-no not at all...I'm just...Overthinking a lot...I mean, I couldn't even focus on the movie."
"What's on your mind?"
Uenoyama-kun looked away from me and stayed silent.
I moved my hips and sat on his lap so he could face me, he blushed as I put my hands on his shoulders. "Now you can focus on me. So come on, you can tell me."
"I'm trying to understand my feelings for you, I've never felt those feelings before so I'm kinda new to this..." Uenoyama-kun held my hips and continued "When you told me you love me I felt...So happy...Because I was very scared about your feelings for me after the kiss. I'm not sure I apologized for it, I'm sorry that I did it without your permission, I just couldn't resist at that moment...While you sang I felt so proud of you, and I didn't think I could admire you more than I already did before.
And when you laid your head on my chest, and cried, I realized that you're...Very special to me. But I don't know what to do...What do I wanna do as your boyfriend..."
I was kinda shocked that he opened up to me like that, I didn't think Uenoyama-kun would just tell me all of this. "And what do you wanna do to me as my boyfriend?"
"I think I..." Uenoyama-kun got distracted in the middle of his sentence as I moved closer to his face. "I wanna touch you..." he said as he stroked my cheek. "Anything else?" I asked.
"And I...I really wanna...Kiss you...Right now..." Said Uenoyama-kun as he leaned closer to me and pressed his lips against mine.
He's so shy...Even though he didn't seem scared to tell me what he wants to do with me, when we kiss, he always tries to move his lips away.
I stroked his hair slowly with my fingers.

"I like kissing you, I feel like I'm gonna melt." I whispered. Uenoyama-kun blushed and looked down, I kissed his forehead making him flinch.
"I know that you can't help but being nervous around me, that's okay, just don't overthink too much, try to relax." I said as I stroked his shoulder.
Uenoyama-kun nodded his head and warped his arms around my back and buried his head into my chest..
"I love you..."
"Wow, you said the L word, are feeling okay?"
"Ha ha funny! when I don't say it you make 'the face' and when I do, you make fun of me?"
"What face?"
"That: 'Say it already you jerk' face."
"I think that's the face I'm always making whenever I'm talking to you." I laughed.
Uenoymama-kun smiled and looked away.
After a moment of silence I whispered
"I never thought that I'll be able to love again.."
"W-what?" Uenoyama-kun looked at me surprised. "After Yuki's death, I used to think that my ability to love died with him."
Uenoyama-kun stroked my hand to comfort me. "Hey it's okay, you don't have to talk about him, I know it upsets you."
"No...I-I need to tell you that because..."

I wanted to tell him everything, about how thankful I am for having him in my life, I just couldn't find the right words to say.

I got off of his lap as he let go of my hand, I grabbed our empty plates and was about to head to the kitchen "Because what?"
"Nah, never mind." I said turning to his direction with a smile. "W-what?? You can't just say that and then end it with a never mind!" Ueonoyama-kun sighed "You always do this..."
"Sorry, like you said, I've spaced out."
"No no no," Uenoyama-kun stood up and walked to my direction. "You're gonna tell me right now, or I'll make you tell me." Uenoyama-kun lifted me up to the counter. "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?" I giggled.
Uenoyama-kun stood in embarrassment as he realized the situation he's in.
I warped my legs around his back and pushed him closer to me. "You're so unfair." I couldn't help but laugh, "I'm serious! You act all innocent but you know what you're doing to me! You made me tell you everything but you can't do the same."
"Then you'll just have to be a little more patient." I whispered. Uenoyama-kun leaned closer to my face "My mom usually comes home at this hour so-" Uenoyama-kun blushed and moved away. "Right, right..." he mumbled.
"I'm kidding, my mom isn't coming home for the night." I said as I got off the counter.
"Damn it Mafuyu..."
"I'm sorry, it's just cute seeing you all nervous." I said with a smile.
"Come on, let's go to my room."