I'm in love (MafuyuxUenoyama)

Chapter 3:"Without you"

Warning- This episode is much darker than the previous ones.

.....

I have been torn apart by the person I thought I could trust.
The sky took him away as I was begging him to take my hand.
And now I'm left all alone with no hand to hold. Emptiness swallowed my heart as my love walked out of my life without saying goodbye. Without even giving me the chance to say:"I love you" again, one last time.

I miss seeing my baby swinging on the swing
his smile lights up my entire life
how I wish I knew he was the king
of stabbing miserable souls with his knife.
Tell me, can you buy me this thing called happiness?

Laying on the floor
wondering if we're already dead
crying because of the things we left unsaid.
Looking deeply into your eyes
that are filled with tears
believing your lies is one of my biggest fears.
Hearing your whispers
as you slowly fall asleep
in that moment I knew that I
have fallen too deep.

...

I remember when I saw him for the first time I knew he would be mine forever even if he's not here anymore. As we both grew up, my love for him only grew stronger, chocking me until I'll stop breathing just to get his attention.
When he broke down I was his drug and when I was dying, I put a smile on my face to hide my suffering so I could still be his drug.
Whenever I looked into his eyes I knew that he would have this huge power over me, as he held my feelings with his hands, crashing them whenever he pleases.
When I saw him with her I realized that I wanted him all to myself.

It's me you need
It's me you should want.

But I couldn't understand why he was with her all the time, but when I knew the reason it was too late. He got me wrapped around his little finger, it's like I was being moved by him, like a puppet on strings.
I couldn't escape my love for him.
I always told myself that as long as he's with me, everything is okay, because I'm actually...Being loved. He ditched that stupid bitch who tried to take him away from me, I was so grateful...That was the moment when I knew that I was willing to do anything for him. I never wanted to but I loved him, and I still love him.

Even though I have already moved on, I found love again, but you're still here, haunting me, I'm still under your control.
How could I ever escape when you're all that I think about?

"He's dead! He's dead! Get it already."

Is what I always say to myself, but I can't help but hide under the blanket of denial.
He's still here...I know it.
I can feel his presence every time I close my eyes. I see his face when I wake up.
I hear his voice when I try to fall asleep.

He's still here...I know it, I know it, I know it.
How I wish he could just let me go.

We never meant to go
through the path of revenge
even though we knew that fire and water won't be fine together unless they pretend.

Hopes and dreams killed my soul
as the pain you make me feel
brings me to the conclusion that I have no control.