I'm in love (MafuyuxUenoyama)

Chapter 5:"Wilted rose״

Sometimes, you can feel so vulnerable, you kinda wish you never
fell in love in the first place.
But when I saw him for the first time I already knew that I wouldn't
be able to give him much space. 

He needs me right now
more than anything else.
He trusts me more than anyone else.

This sweet boy has been hurt enough so I need to give up on pretending to be tough, and protect him from the cruelty of this world.
But how can I do that
when he has already seen it all?

"He is depending on me, don't let him down." I used to tell myself.
"I don't know if he loves me, but I'll always be around when he can't do it himself."

I'm the one who is able fix his broken heart
I'm the only one who can understand
I'll be there for him, whenever he falls apart
I'll be his, 'till the end.

His lover is always in his head.
My baby sees him wherever he goes
"I just wish I was dead." Is what he thinks to himself, as he holds his wilted rose.

Be carful, my love.
That rose is beautiful but it also has thorns
It's unusual that it grows on the arms of the lovers who got torn.
The rose only shows the connection these lovers had before they were thrown into the deep sea of despair so they could only wait to be reborn.

"He killed my roses." He cries.
"He took my ability to express emotions.
I'm broken, and I'm drowning deep in the dark ocean. Please help...Please help me."

I'm in love with a dead person
he's in love with a person
who is dead on the inside
I can't really find the reason
why would you ever be by my side.

It's like I got shot
by the person I liked a lot
I never thought I'd get caught having these feelings, I'm hardly breathing because of what I've got.

He sleeps here every night
he knows there's nothing right
but he's still with me even though I might
leave him alone, like his baby did before when he died. But when he cries on the phone I can't help but suffer more. I promised that I'll only love him and he'll be the only one I adore.
I can hear his voice in my head
when I go to bed, I try to fall asleep,
but he's always there.
How did we fall into an end that's so deep?
How can I pretend I'm fine while trying to fall asleep? When I close my eyes I can't see anything, it's funny how this works because you can see me.
I've got nothing to give, you took everything, but I still love you, even though I know you can never forgive the boy who left you.

.........................
~Please~
🥀
🥀🥀
🥀🌹🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🌹🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
~Save him~
.........................

When he walked on the stage for the first time,
I could see his excitement, his fear and hope.
Hope the audience would understand his pain.
When he started singing I wish he could've known that he controls my heartbeat with that beautiful voice of his.
When he looked at me, I gave him a soft smile that made his eyes teary.
I didn't understand him, I couldn't understand him. But I did feel his pain.
Ever since I met him I tried to do anything for him. Whatever it was...Fixing his guitar, encouraging him to write a song, joining the band...Or even fixing his heart.
We walked to the back of the stage and he stood in front of me as he laid his head on my chest and cried. He looked so vulnerable...I couldn't see anyone else but him. I didn't care about anyone else but him at that moment.
He was this glowing angel who's suffering from the pain he's feeling inside.
Everybody wanted to know him, to find out what happened, to help him. But he chose me, to take the one step nobody could take to get closer to him, to feel his pain and even experience it in a different way.
And I...Accepted it.
I didn't really have a choice, I heard my heart screaming his name each day and night.
I knew I could not let go of him, now that he's in my arms. Sometimes you have to take a risk for the person you love, the person who needs you more than anything else. But that's an illusion. He's not depending on me here...But I am. I couldn't be away from him, I couldn't leave him. He was this sweet boy, that never meant to hurt anyone. A naive poor soul, that just wanted to be loved by someone. An unfortunate lover that lost his other half, but eventually found another one. And when I realized it I also knew that...I'm in love.
I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love.
And I can't change that.

.....
Author's note:
I know this fanfic is kinda weird...I honestly didn't expect it to turn out this way...
But hey, think about this way, if my mind wasn't such a sad and weird place I would've had nothing to write about, so I'll just keep writing :)
.....