Mr. & Miss JACKSON: The Beginning

Chapter 31: Love Notice

One Year Later
1986 - Yours Truly Tour
New Zealand
Aliza POV

'Hey You-
I miss you. A lot. I'm sitting here on the beach and trying to figure out what to say but words can not explain how much joy I feel when I am with you. I feel like I've lived twice when I'm with you.

We get each other. We fit. You're my rising in the morning. My personal telephone to heaven.

Michael Joe Jackson, you will forever have me. And remember...forever is never enough time for you and me. Me for you and you for me. 

I know by the time you read this I'll be on the way back home. I can bet you're asleep right now with your shades on. You're so cool. I admire to be like you when I grow up mister. I'm so restless right now and I'm not sure if it's because we are two worlds apart or if it's because I'm realizing that I am falling deeply in love with you.

That wasn't not easy to write but only God knows how much I mean it. I always imagined being in love in twos, but with you we are like one. One band, one sound.

You know, last night I dreamt of a storm.
A horrible storm that not even the weather caster saw coming. During the storm I saw no one. Just gray clouds. I couldn't move when I tried and I swear it was like God was revealing something to me. Funny part is, when I woke up, it was so bright and beautiful...then I saw your face. I felt relieved.

Sometimes, I wonder when you'll get tired of me. Maybe you'll find me less interesting, realize the fire isn't lit anymore or move on to the next superstar. So many reasons to leave me but then I remember when you told the world you needed not one reason to be with me.

I couldn't sleep that night when we got home. I actually watched you sleep. I hate to sound as if I'm losing my Independence or identity or some crazy fan but Michael, I kinda am! my truth is this...I am only as happy as you are.

Once, when we were at Hayvenhurst, I heard you harmonizing a song...and I thought it was impossible. Did God give us the same words? That same evening I saw you console your sister and mother.

A week passed by and I saw you make a sick child's dream come true. I said to myself 'this man heals'.

You're my healing. I love you, MJ.
I'll say it again, I-Love-YOU.

Right now, Im looking across a sea...and every bit of me is in paradise.

I think of the love we give. The love we make. Our exchange of love. The sacrifice we constantly make just because we love one another. It's been a year since we've been together and it's felt like a lifetime.

I rather be kissing you, now. I rather be in your arms. Running around the house pillow fighting. You teaching me to moonwalk and spin. Me reading you my poems. I rather be IN love.

I'm crying you know. I bet you already knew that. You know I'm so emotional. I'll tell you a secret...because I know you'll keep it.

No matter what happens with us, I believe in my soul, I'll never stop loving you. Loving you is to love me.

Anywhere I go in this universe, I am protected because of you. You protect me. I feel so safe with you in my life. So sacred.

Because of you, I am living out loud.
Who I really am, is out.

Thank you for seeing me and listening to my heart before you listened to yours.

I'll say it again and again...I love you, deep.

I love you beneath and beyond it all. I'll see you soon.

Signed Your lovely fan and girlfriend-Aliza.'

I kiss the letter and bring to to my chest to hug it. I lay down and watch the sun.

After an hour on the beach I run to my suite and ask my tour assistant to send my letter of first class mail.

I decide to go take a nap. I'm still exhausted from last nights tour. I lay down and immediately feel sick. I close my eyes and unbutton my shirt. I'm soaked in sweat. I open my balcony door and let the beach air hit me. I undress and lay on the bed. I do some breathing exercises and relax.

I have to see someone about this...
I fall asleep with the image of MJ on my brain...the imagine of loving him forever.