Suicidal - 5sos

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."

By 1 we finished 5 episodes of 'How I Met Your Mother' and the pizza and cups of coke were all gone (though Ashton insisted on drinking beer, because "he's the oldest").

I yawn loudly and the others laugh. "I'm gonna go sleep...I'm tired as fuck,"

"Woah, girl swearing?" Michael chuckles.

I slap him playfully and walk upstairs. I dont bother brushing my teeth - I dont even have a toothbrush. But as I walk in to the bathroom there is a disposable toothbrush, a floppy plastic comb and some hair ties. What? I see a note on the white counter saying: 'For thy Sophie :D -Luke x'

Wait. Luke put this here? What a cutie...Oh god. There's an 'x'. Is this a sign? I pick up the black marker next to the note and write back: 'Thanks Luke :) Soph xox'. Is that too much? I think so. He only put one 'x'. I scribble the 'ox' out and brush my teeth, comb my hair and head to the only bedroom. I take off my white lace shirt, black skirt and crimson red beanie and what I think is an old shirt from a cupboard. Its white with a picture of them of the front with '5sos' and a tally in red on it. I don't know which bunk bed to sleep on, so I just grab a pillow and a blanket from the cupboard in the back and fall asleep on the carpet in the middle. Harshly, I stuff my clothes under the pillow. I'm just glad I didn't jump today.

Luke's POV:

"Dude - she is SOOO into you!" Michael chuckles after Sophie walks upstairs, biting a slice of pizza.

"What?" I shrug, "no, I...uhh..." I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Seriously?" Calum smiles, "look if you like this girl so much go get her! Lets say, tomorrow, we all go to the park nearby. Me, Ashton and Michael can just goof around while you two have some alone time..." he smirks.

"Uhh - not so sure on that..." I murmur, "I mean, I like her, but she's suicidal...what if she isn't ready?"

"You'll never know unless you try!" Ashton punches me, "ok, it's settled. We're going to the park tomorrow!"

"Fine..." I whisper, "let's go and sleep."

We walk upstairs and go into our room to see Sophie, asleep on the floor - with a fluffy white blanket and pillow.

"She's so cute," I whisper, staring at her cute face.

"Someones in loveeeee," Michael murmurs in my ear.

"Oh, shut up," I slap him, "just go to sleep."

We change into our pajamas (we are just so fucking comfortable around each other.)

I lay on my top bunk, looking down at Ashton.

"Night, fucker." I say.

"Love you too," he smirks "Night."

Sophie's POV:

I wake up to see Luke, Ashton, Michael and Calum asleep on their bunk beds. Sleepily, I go into a sitting position and rub my eyes, which I suppose are red. Oh god, I got make up all over my arms. I look up at the clock: 8:30am. Why am I up so early? Ugh, my eyebags are gonna get worse now. Yay...

I stand up and go to my bathroom, to see a face wash and deodorant on the counter. Another note.

'To: Sophie. Get ready...we have a nice day coming up. -Luke xox' this time theres an 'xox.' Does he like me? I smile and write a reply: 'You're such a sweetie :) -Sophie xox' Though the face wash and deodorant is for men, I go into the shower and wash my body. I haven't showered for 2 days; I must have smelt terrible.

I let the hot water trickle over my body and use a loofa and soap to wash my body. It feels so good to finally cleanse my bruises, but I be careful not to scrub the scabs too much. I dry my body and put the large shirt back on. I suddenly forget - my phone. Yesterday, I left it on the counter. I turn it on and check my messages. 8 messages? I barely have any friends! I check them. They're all from an unknown number.

'Go kill yourself'

'You're fat and ugly'

'You fucking idiot, you deserve to die'

I switch off my phone and slam it on the ground. Who would do this? How do they know my number? I try to hold it n but I just cant. The tears start to run down my face like a rainstorm. I run downstairs and grab a knife. I can't stop myself. I run back upstairs, closing the door and begin to cut over the sink. Crimson begins to pour out of the small lines on my pale arms, and tears prick at my eyes. I dont stop though. I continue to cut, from my wrist to my elbow. I close my eyes tightly as I drop the knife on the counter and grab a towel.

"Sophie?"

Oh fuck. He woke up. Luke woke up. He's gonna see my cuts.

"Uhh...yeah?" I stutter. He opens the door slightly and looks at me, a maroon towel on my arm.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

He comes in and takes the towel away from my arm and grabs it. I wince. He takes a clean towel and dabs the slices.

"What the fuck is this!?" he points to my arm of cuts.

"Ow...ow..."

He takes the towel off and picks up the pen from the counter - starting to draw on my arm. At first, its a oval, but as he progresses, it turns into a disfigured penguin.

"What the fuck is this!" I say.

"It's called Luke. If you cut again you kill him." I gaze at its wiggly oval and disfigured beak.

"Promise me,"

I can't bare to look at him - I just look at the floor.

"Fucking promise me, that you wont cut,"

"I-I promise..." I stutter

He takes my face in his hand and at first I think he's gonna kiss me, but he just embraces me. His arms tightly wrap around me and I feel a warm and fuzzy feeling growing inside of me.

"Lets get these cuts sorted out."

He takes me downstairs and goes into the kitchen - opening a cupboard and getting a long bandage. Tightly, he wraps it around my arm and I cringe.

"I know it hurts but it'll help..." he says, tucking the end of the bandage in the edge. "Better?"

"K-kinda," I manage to say.

"So - umm," he moves back and puts his hands in his pocket, "what do ya want for breakfast?"

"Uhh-dunno..."

"What about, pancakes?" he says.

"Whats a...pancake?" I stutter. Dad never really let us go out besides school.

"Are you serious?" he furrows his eyebrows, "ok, we DEFINITELY have to make them."

Luke, being the tall giant he is, reaches to the top cupboard and gets a box saying "Pancake Mix" on the front.

"Get me a bowl?" he smiles.

I open one cupboard but it has cups in it. I open the other one and - YES - bowls. I dont have to rummage through their brown cupboards anymore. Don't know why - I grab the biggest one and place it on the counter. Luke open a paper bag that came inside the box and empties the contents into the bowl. Its a beige powder. That does NOT look that good...

He takes some milk from the fridge and pours it in the bowl, mixing it with a whisk. It turns into a liquid.

"Ok, now we just put spoonfuls of it on a pan and wait!" he grins.

(Authors Note: Sorry if its a bit short...trying to write TONS of chapters to update you guys :D )