Drowning (DreamNotFound)

[1]

(Just so that you aren't confused, flashbacks will be italicized.)

Dream walked into his fanart room, admiring all of the things his fans had sent him. He especially loved the fanart of him and George, though he didn't know why. He always made flirty jokes with his best friend, which was probably why they were always being shipped. They didn't mind it though, they actually enjoyed it. Reading all the fanfictions about them, even the sexual ones, made them laugh. It might have seemed odd to other people how they could read that kind of stuff and still be friends, but it wasn't odd to them. After a moment, he walked back to his room after hearing his phone ring. 

"Hey Dream. I need to get a video out soon. Do you think you have time to film right now?"

"Uh- yeah sure. What's the video?"

"I was thinking another block shuffle video."

"Oh, okay. When do you want to record it?"

"In like an hour. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's f-fine. See you then. B-bye, George."

"Oh- okay. Bye, Dre-"

Dream didn't know why he hung up so fast. He felt so odd being on the phone with George. He felt anxious. Why? It was his best friend. Whatever, it was probably nothing. He tried to shake the feeling but he couldn't. Plus, he had George's video to look forward to, which made it all worse. Why was he so anxious to talk to his best friend?

Contrary to popular belief, Dream was a very emotional person and recently he had been struggling in silence. His friends didn't know about the cuts on his arms and he wanted to keep it that way. Dream knew that they would just say something too emotional for his liking and treat it like a big deal. 

He had been self-harming for about two months now but nobody knew. The first time it happened was the worst. After that, he was numb to the feeling and it basically became part of his daily routine. It became a habit that he didn't break, a habit he couldn't live without.

-

Dream sat at the corner of his bathroom, recalling the night's events. He and his best friend had streamed a manhunt together an hour before this and they had made a bet that Dream ended up losing. The bet was that if George lost then he would give Dream his mother's phone number. If Dream lost, he would have to give George his mom's number. George texted Dream's mom immediately after the stream but wouldn't tell Dream what he had said, but he found out soon enough. 

George had texted his mother something about them dating as a joke. It wasn't true, but his mom freaked out and practically disowned him. Dream didn't even tell her that George was joking because after all, he was bisexual. He never told George what happened and George never brought it up again because he never got a reply from Dream's mother. That's when it all started, the cutting. 

As he sat in his bathroom crying about what had just occurred, the air became thicker and he felt like the walls were closing in on him. He wanted to get away from these emotions. He hated it. He needed a distraction from his thoughts. Through his shaky vision, he spotted a razor. He knew that it wasn't a good idea but he was so desperate to get away from his mind. And so he did. 

-

Dream looked in the bathroom mirror, analyzing every flaw before being alerted by the ringing of his phone. It was George. The video. He had forgotten about the video. He frantically rushed over to the table.

"George, I'm so sorry. I just I got all caught up with-"

"Um, it's ok. I filmed the video with Sapnap instead. Are you feeling okay? You haven't been seeming like yourself for a while."

Dream froze at those words. The thought that George even had an idea that Dream wasn't doing well was terrifying. He didn't want to weigh his friends down with his problems, and he definitely didn't want them knowing how he tried to solve them.

"I- uh- no- I- um- fine. I'm fine."

"Ok, no. Something is definitely up with you. Seriously, I know I don't say things like this often but, you can talk to me. I mean it, Dream."

Dream stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to that. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry. What he knew he couldn't do was tell him the truth.

"Dream, seriously. Talk to me-"

Dream hung up in a panic, throwing himself on the bed and face-palming at his ignorance. He didn't want to face his best friend. He didn't want him to know that he was emotional or upset. He didn't want George to see him that way. He didn't want him to think he was weak.

-

When he woke up the next day missed calls and texts from his friends flooded his phone. He didn't want to answer, so he didn't. He just turned his phone on silent and spent his entire day in bed. He couldn't even go on his phone without having his friends text him every few seconds. So, he blocked them. He knew that it wasn't the best idea he's ever had but he didn't care. He didn't want to be bothered anymore. 

His friends began to call him on Discord, but he was on 'do not disturb' so it didn't bother him. His friends started reaching out on every social media platform that they could, only to be blocked by Dream once again. Then, his friends had the idea of going to his house. Sapnap had visited Dream once before, so he had his address. Yeah, it was a long way and it was a very spontaneous decision, but they just wanted to make sure that their friend was okay.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me just make one thing clear. Some things in this chapter are Dream's thoughts and they are not rational. For example, it said that his friends would treat his self-harm like it was a big deal. That statement implies that self-harm is not a big deal, which it is. If you are going through something like that please feel free to DM me on Wattpad or on Instagram @avaiaa33. I promise that I will answer. I check my inbox every day and I will not hesitate to reply.