Drowning (DreamNotFound)

[8]

The small boy pounded on the door violently. Dream hurriedly answered the door. He had just ordered pizza, so that's who he thought was here. His eyes widened as they met the brunette. "Shit," he muttered. "Yeah, you goddamn right! What the fuck? Again? Why are you doing this?" Dream rubbed the back of his neck, stepping back to allow George to walk inside. 

"I mean seriously, why are you doing this to me?" His voice cracked as tears filled in his eyes. "Why, Dream?" Seeing the boy like that was heartbreaking to Dream. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around the boy's small figure. "I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry." The boy cried into Dream's chest, staining his blue shirt with tears. "I was so worried about you. I- I love you." 

Three words. Three words that changed everything. Three words that made George realize his feelings. Three words that made Dream question their relationship. George's tone wasn't normal. It was needy and desperate. "I- George." He paused for just a moment, taken back by George's sudden words. "I- I love you too, you have no idea." That was true. George truly had no idea how much Dream loved him. George wiped his tears and pulled away slightly from Dream's grasp. "You mean that?" Dream nodded, "Of course I do. " The small boy hugged back yet again ten times harder. 

They stayed there, hugging, for a while until Dream pulled away. "George, I'm so sorry." George's brows furrowed. "No, Dream. You don't get to do this to me. You can't just fucking disappear and expect nothing to happen. I care about you more than I'd like to admit, and- and this just isn't working." It was so upsetting to see George in such a vulnerable, fragile state. 

"I don't know what to say. I really don't know why I did that. I guess I- never mind." Dream tried to look everywhere but George's eyes. "Dream. Say it." Dream sighed. "I just- you were the only continuous thing in my life and I felt like I needed change, so I just cut you off. I- I'm sorry. I was just being impulsive and I shouldn't have done that. I know I promised not to do it again but it's so difficult, George." George's face became softer as he stepped closer to Dream, pulling him into a hug. "I forgive you, please don't worry me again. Please."

"I'll try, George. I'm sorry." The two pulled away from each other and George followed Dream to the couch. "So, um, how long are you staying?" George shifted to face Dream. "Uh, a month." Dream was shocked by the length of George's trip. "Wow, that's a long time." George sighed. "I know. I guess I could change it if-" Dream interrupted his friend. "No- no, please don't." His face became serious as he opened his mouth to speak. "I want you." His face began to heat up, realizing what he said as he cleared his throat. "I mean here. I want you here." The comment made George's face flush red and the two sat in uncomfortable silence until the doorbell rang. 

It was pizza. "Oh yeah, I got pizza." Dream got up and grabbed the pizza from the delivery driver before muttering a simple 'thank you' and walking back inside. The two didn't talk much. They mostly just sat in silence, taking bites of their pizza. 

Dream was too occupied with his food to notice that George had fallen asleep on the couch beside him until George's head fell onto his shoulder. He smiled, setting down his pizza and grabbing the blanket in front of him to put on his friend. He laid his head down on George's head, drifting off to sleep moments later. 

-

George woke up, immediately noticing the blonde boy resting on top of him. They had moved a lot in their sleep and had ended up in a cuddling position. His eyes widened, realizing that he was cuddling with his best friend. He enjoyed it though. Dream's warm body pressed up against his was comforting. It made him feel safe and loved. So, instead of moving, he snuggled his face into the nape of Dream's neck. 

The movement woke Dream and he pulled away instantly, meeting the eyes of the small boy in front of him. George frowned as the comforting warmth of Dream's body disappeared. It was replaced by an uneasy feeling of regret. George stared into Dream's emerald green eyes, but all he could see was yellow. It was still beautiful. Breathtaking. 

"Hi," Dream said, running his fingers through the brunette's hair. "H-hi. What are you doing?" George wasn't uncomfortable with the situation, just nervous. Why was he nervous? It was just Dream. Why did Dream always make him feel like this? "Sorry, is it okay?" George smiled. "Yeah, it feels nice." Dream smiled back at the small boy. "You feel nice." His eyes widened. "Did I just say that out loud? Shit." George giggled as he felt his face heat up. 

Dream began to get up before being pulled back down by his collar. Their faces touched and their lips brushed together. It was an accident, obviously, but the sensation they felt was euphoric. Dream pulled away, meeting the desperate eyes of George. He looked down at his lips, then back to his eyes. "Um, oops." Dream chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He moved off of George and went to the kitchen to grab some food. 

George just laid there confused by what just happened, confused by the feelings it gave him. Why did it feel so good? Why did he want to do it again? It was just an accident but he wanted more. He craved Dream's lips against his. He needed a distraction from his thoughts. 

He remembered what worked from Dream and wondered if the same would work for him. No. He couldn't do that. The more he tried to convince himself it wasn't a good idea, the more he wanted to do it. So, he did. He went to the bathroom and grabbed a razor. He cut a one-inch slit first, then another, then another, and soon his entire arm was covered in blood and he was sobbing. 

The loud wails coming from the bathroom worried Dream, so he quickly walked to the door. "George? Are you okay? Can I come in?" George couldn't form any words, anything that attempted to come out of his mouth was drowned out by his cries. "George, I'm coming in if you don't answer. I need to know your okay." George panicked, he couldn't let him see what he had done. He managed to speak through his cries. "N- no." 

Dream stopped turning the handle. "George, please. Let me help you." His words only made George sob more. "I'm sorry, Dream. I shouldn't have done it." What he said made Dream realize what he had done, so he opened the door. George sat on the floor with puffy, red eyes and blood all over his arm. He ran to the boy, pulling him into a hug. "George. I'm so sorry." The smaller boy pulled away. "No, I can't do this anymore." He wiped his tears and ran out of the bathroom, grabbing Dream's keys and getting in his car.

He couldn't drive since he was colorblind, but he knew enough to get around the neighborhood. He pulled around to an empty alleyway and parked. He sat there and cried for hours and Dream was left at home. Dream had been self-harm-free for a little while so he sat in the bathroom alone as he fought the urge to make cuts all over his body. He needed a distraction, other than cutting. It never truly helped, it only made things worse. 

A/N: To anyone reading that is self-harming, I love you, and you matter. I know how hard it is to stop and I know that you will get through it. Feel free to DM me at any time if you ever need someone to talk to.