moonlight {h.s}

back to you

Sydney

As I had drove home from Harry's, I had the biggest smile on my face and the true feeling of happiness coursing through my veins. What a night. He actually kissed me, and I let him.

My heart fluttered when he leant down and placed a quick kiss on my lips just before I left. I softly wiped my red lipstick off his mouth before he said, "Takes like Cherry."

Nodding my head I replied, "Mhm, it's called Cherry Red."

We said goodbye and I headed towards my car, feeling this high that Harry had given me. He was nothing like anyone I had ever met before. The feeling I had with him was so freeing, and the connection between us was so obvious.

My mind couldn't explain why I felt like I did after a short amount of time. He was just something different, something I had never experienced before. I wanted to keep him for myself.

A few days after I had seen Harry, I got a call from a friend of mine. Louis Tomlinson.

Louis called me to ask if I wanted to come and work on a song he had written. If I liked it, he said I could feature on the track. He sent over a voice recording of it and I instantly replied telling him I'd come and sing on it.

The song was called Back To You, and he said it would most likely be out next year. Louis had already played me the final version of his song, Just Hold On, which was set to release in just over a month. He was working really hard on these singles and I was very proud and excited to be a part of it.

He requested I fly out to London if I could, so I could record it with him. I graciously agreed and was on a flight the next morning. Some might say my lifestyle wasn't healthy, back and forth flights and never any set plans. But I liked it.

Life begins to get repetitive and boring when you're sat around waiting for plans to arrive. I enjoyed calling up my friends and deciding to just fly to LA or London or Paris. We might as well, we all only have one life.

When it comes to tour or press or work commitments, I will keep dates but my personal life is all fun and spontaneous. Exactly how I liked it.

Flying out to London had me thinking of Harry. I knew he would be in the city still recording and I would be in London. There was no way of me dragging him out to show him the city, or him calling me to listen to a new song.

This is why any form of relationship in our position never works. In my case, there's lots of reasons why I can't date but this is a clear one. It made me sad, but I was sure I would see him eventually.

Once I arrived I went straight to my flat in Kensington, and settled back in like I had never been away.

I love New York. So much of my childhood and teen years had been spent there with my friends and my mum, but home was London. Growing up here with my dad was a dream and nothing could compare.

As you walked into my flat, you were met by my cosy living room. I had it covered in blankets, candles, crystals and books. My face broke out in a smile when I saw everything just how I left it.

Dotted around were pictures of me and my parents, friends and memorabilia of my life. Scrapbooks I had made and been given were around for me to grab whenever.